Death of an ex, don't know how to feel.

[Birth-Peace]

I found out yesterday that an ex boyfriend of mine had been killed in a car accident. We had been very close and remained very good friends for years and years afterwards.

 

We still kept in touch by email and text and although I had not seen him for three years, I obviously still hold him in high regard.

 

I don't know how to feel about his death. I feel horridly sad and angry but as I hadnt seen him for so long and am now very happily married, I feel like I dont have a right to feel upset.

 

It also doesnt really feel real.

 

Any advice

[liam1412]

Of course you have a right to be upspet. I have never been put in this situation but I know how I would feel. While you may no longer be in love with a person in any way, You will still care about what happens to them.

[Darbees]

There's no right or wrong answer to that one just feel as you feel. I would think it would take a very cold heart indeed to not be upset at the death of someone you had once shared some of your life with.

[princess01]

you do have the right to be upset, you once had a relationship that you probably thought was gonna last for ever, it's ok to grief, but dont bottle it up as you will find yourself takeing it out on your husband

[newfgreen]

Well i suppose everyone is different and you will feel how your body wants you to i suppose.

If it was me then i would be upset, mainly because the person would have cared for me at some time aswell as believed in me and we would have had some great times together.

[Joanl]

Yes I agree with what everyone has said..it would be hard hearted person that didn't feel sad for someone's passing, especially one that had once been a part of your life.

The way he has died as well, in a tragic accident has to make you upset and angry.

You are married now yes, but you aren't being unfaithful by feeling sad, just sad for the person that WAS in your life and now has gone.

Go ahead and grieve...it IS ok to do so.

[hmr44]

Aw I'm sorry, that is a horrible thing to happen.

 

I'd be upset if I heard that one of my exes had been killed, it doesn't mean that you still had feelings for him deep down or anything, I think it's just like hearing if a friend that you hadn't seen in a while had died, but obviously you shared loving, intimate moments with your ex boyfriend so it may be that little bit harder.

 

Hope you're ok.

 

H x

[FallenAngel6]

I hate my ex's guts and i do still see him cause hes friends with my dad and i know i'm not in love with him anymore cause i am madly in love with my new boyfriend. However if anything happened to him, i'd hate to admit it but...i would be utterly devastated and i think people would understand, especially my BF.

 

You do have a right to feel upset about this and my condolences for your loss hun...I hope your ok also...

 

from Fallen x

PS: keep it locked away and you'll feel worse hun, i know...

[Bonny]

My deepest sympathy Olliekitten. This must have been such shock. Your feelings are all perfectly normal and natural - even the fact that you say you don't know how to feel.

 

I remember my dad talking to me about his 'first love' who passed away a few years ago - some 50 years after they'd split up. He felt pretty similar to how you describe.

[carpetviper]

I have had this happen to me and I must aggree it is not very nice and I was confused to how I felt at the time we were together when young but had been split up for quite a while when she came down with very severe ME she stopped recognising people and it got to a point where she just stopped being a person I was asked not to visit and a few years later I found out she had passed on. I know me is not meant to be fatal so I always wonder if she just gave up and didnt want to carry on.