What's the secret to a happy partnership?

[schizodoor]

When i was young I thought that if you loved someone that would be all you need to make a happy future. You would settle down, get married have babies and cinderella's figure would plague you till death. I've since found that this is not the case :-/

 

I find myself wondering what am i doing wrong? So how does it work? What does it take? My grandparents did it with no problem, they called each other names but were happy! She'd hit him when he used the lurpack to do his hair in the morning but they were married for nearly 70 years! Is the lurpack significant?

 

So dear forum, please help, how do I not fail next time?

[mojo1]

Start by not considering your last attempt a faiure on your part. It takes 2 to make or break a relationship.

[Bonny]

A bit of give and take - bite your tongue - agree to disagree - lay down the ground rules early on - each having your own 'me time' - communication -make the other person feel special - pay them compliments - don't expect the other person to be a mind-reader, they're not!

[melthebell]

one word

 

 

compromise

[schizodoor]

Without going into too much detail there does seem to be a pattern of er... broken relationships/divorce.

 

I just wonder if there's a secret to a long lasting relationship, is it down to excessive give and take, is it all hard work?

[purdyamos]

Make sure you have no trace of mental health problems.

 

And regarding the 70-year marriage thing: In the days before easy divorce (or even sex outside marriage) splitting up was pretty much taboo.Many couples stuck together despite living in misery (not that I'm casting aspertions on your own rellies.)

[schizodoor]

Do you think there's an element of being 'meant for each other' i see couples who are almost as one, finishing each others sentances etc?

[pattricia]

Well it aint down to sex.Nobody dies from a lack of sex, its a lack of love we die from.

[lizzmobile]

Communication. Another word.

[Swan_Vesta]

I'll tell you what works for me. I love my other half to the point where I never want her to have an unhappy moment in her life, I try to surprise her so she never gets bored, I'll try and make her laugh at her lowest point, If she's depressed I'd do anything to bring a smile to her face.

 

Don't think that you did anything wrong but try yourself and find a lad who will put in similar efforts.