Advice about an ex...

[Dear Forum...]

Basically, I met up with my ex again recently and we ended up sleeping together (bad move). We met up again this weekend and went to the cinema. All was dandy, however, later in the evening we started chatting on msn... then, after a while, he just ignored me, wouldnt reply at all, even though he wasnt set to away or anything. And if he was away from his computer, his msn would have automatically set to away after 5 mins or so.

 

He used to do this when we were together... just stop talking, ignore me. I used to get really paranoid about it. I dont now though, what is upsetting me now is - I dont know why Im wasting my time if we'r not going to get back together! A part of me wants to delete his number, TRY and forget about him and move on... but the other part still loves him and thats what is stopping me.

 

I also keep having dreams (latest one last night)... the first one was where I had to tell him I was seeing someone, and the look on his face drove me to tears... and last nights was where he told me he liked someone else.

 

How do I go about moving on? Its nearly 8 month and im still not completely over him.

[baileys_mum]

Hiya,

 

I just want to say, it WILL take time. After me and my first ever serious boyf broke up I was in peices for well over a year. He was quite violent and once actually caused me serious injury.

 

Just get on with your life, it WILL take time. There are loads of decent folk out there I know I've found one!

[babychickens]

cut loose, hun. you split up for a reason. if he doesn't respect you enough to not ignore you, do you really want him back? your heart might be telling you that you want him back, but your head clearly knows otherwise, otherwise you wouldn't be starting this thread. have you started this one because you want people to tell you what you want to hear, or do you want people to tell you what you already know? delete his number, go on holiday by yourself (or with some girly friends if you really don't like the thought of being alone...being alone is great to help you learn to appreciate yourself better, though), don't forget about him (he was clearly an important part of your life), and concentrate on what you can do in your life without him. oh, and if you're not already into running/swimming/gyming/whatever, get yourself out and get some exercise - it's amazing what half killing yourself in the name of fitness can do for your mood and general outlook.

[Guest]

You really do need to move on. It sounds like a form of mental bullying and it is making you feel like you 'need' him. by ignoring you, its kinda like reverse psychology and you want to speak to him even more.

 

I'd say cut your losses, move on and you be the one to ignore him for a change. Just cut him out of you life and in a few months you'll realise it was the best thing you could have done.

(i speak from experience )

[JoeP]

Remember why you broke up in teh first place. There was a reason for it.

 

Absence makes the heart grow fonder and also makes it bloody forgetful as well.

 

Dump the number, block MSN, delete his emails....it will be painful but deep inside I think you know this is teh right path.

 

Best of luck.

[StarSparkle]

All I would say is your ex sounds like he's very immature emotionally.

 

If you keep meeting up with him / communicating with him, it's going to be a lot harder to get over him than if you put him out of your life for the time being. Maybe later, when you've moved on in your life, it might be nice to have him as a part of your life IF YOU STILL WANT TO - but not right now. It's not giving you a chance to heal and move on.

 

Good luck.

 

StarSparkle

[Moonbird]

I have to agree with everyone else, it may hurt as much as your cutting off your right arm but delete his number, block and delete from msn...don't keep a back up number in a safe place get rid once and for all, most importantly face the unthinkable in your own mind that it is now over and he is no good for you, because he isn't he hurts you.

True love is kind and warm and giving, give that love now to yourself and let yourself grieve and get over him once and for all, then and only then you stand the chance of finding the real thing.

Good luck and be strong.

[Lindos]

Basically, I met up with my ex again recently and we ended up sleeping together (bad move). We met up again this weekend and went to the cinema. All was dandy, however, later in the evening we started chatting on msn... then, after a while, he just ignored me, wouldnt reply at all, even though he wasnt set to away or anything. And if he was away from his computer, his msn would have automatically set to away after 5 mins or so.

 

I have nothing to add to the good advice you've already had, except to say that it's all based on what you have told us, and that may not be objective if you are upset.

 

It's a small point, but his MSN may not automatically set him to away, because that function has to be selected from the options menu.

 

I only mention it because I know how easy it is to get the wrong message when emotions are involved...

 

[alternageek]

detach and move on.

why be with someone who makes you feel like that? there a billion times better out there. dont even tell him youre blocking him out of your life, just do it.

[pattricia]

Its emotional blackmail. Tell him not to call again,as a new man is moving in soon(even if hes not)