New way to annoy Mormons, Jehovah's Witnesses, and other door-knocking God-botherers

[TeaFan]

As I came home today, a man knocked on the front door I had just closed, and asked me if I had any work he needed doing. I politely said that no, I didn't, and that was that. He was then accosted by a couple of Community Support Officers (the "yellow-clad numpties" the police don't like; the police being the blue-clad numpties no-one else likes), who started asking him what he was doing.

 

When I pointed out that he'd just been asking for work, one of the CSOs said that they'd seen him knocking on a few doors, and so had a duty to investigate. I asked whether that meant that evangelical door-knockers could expect the same treatment, in the name of even-handedness. The spotty herbert in question replied that if I felt that people knocking on doors was causing me or anyone else a nuisance, then I could summon (not quite sure how you go about this) more yellow-clad types to deal with them accordingly.

 

So now you know. Get to it, Sheffield!

[KenH]

As I came home today, a man knocked on the front door I had just closed, and asked me if I had any work he needed doing. I politely said that no, I didn't, and that was that. He was then accosted by a couple of Community Support Officers (the "yellow-clad numpties" the police don't like; the police being the blue-clad numpties no-one else likes), who started asking him what he was doing.

 

When I pointed out that he'd just been asking for work, one of the CSOs said that they'd seen him knocking on a few doors, and so had a duty to investigate. I asked whether that meant that evangelical door-knockers could expect the same treatment, in the name of even-handedness. The spotty herbert in question replied that if I felt that people knocking on doors was causing me or anyone else a nuisance, then I could summon (not quite sure how you go about this) more yellow-clad types to deal with them accordingly.

 

So now you know. Get to it, Sheffield!

 

It is a good idea in principle. In practice there are too problems. Firstly, they wouldn't turn up for several hours and secondly they don't work Sundays due to not having funding for overtime.

[TeaFan]

What about Saturdays? Isn't that the Sabbath for the Jehovah's crowd?

 

The irony is, the guy got pulled for asking for work, but I wouldn't mind the God-botherers so much if they were offering to clear my guttering or do a bit of digging in the garden. But no, they just want to convert me. Bo-ring!

[Waltheof]

You do it by using the technique a friend of ours used some time ago--the JWs called and the door was answered...he saw who they were and came charging down the stairs naked, shouting I'M JESUS CHRIST, I'M JESUS CHRIST!

 

They beat a hasty retreat...it might even work better if you are female.

[Don_Kiddick]

Invite them in, don't offer them a drink but open a bottle of wine & proceed to drink from the bottle.

 

Don't be shy about farting or belching - it's your house.

 

Bang on about the joys of sex before marriage.

 

This works - trust me

[Gypsy Hack]

Answer the door, appraise them for a second or two, then look up to the skies and say: "God, for the last time, keep your bloody sheep off my front lawn!"

 

edit: oddly, I live opposite a Kingdom Hall, and they've never once bothered me.

[chefkicker]

Shame about all the apathy/lack of hospitality they face.

If the JW or mormons come to my doorstep, I invite them in and listen to what they have to say. After that I will tell them why their religion in wrong and tell them how they are missing the final chapter.

 

They tend not to return too often once I have "ripped them to shreds"

[smileyjiver]

I just tell them that I've had a blood transfusion (even though I haven't) and that I'm a blood donor (although I'm not). It soon gets rid of them.

[tom3t0]

Incitement of religious hatred.

 

Fair enough their beliefs are a bit daft but they do tend to lead better lives than the rest of us. They should expect questions but mocking them is a bit cruel.

[martin_f]

Tell them you are catholic (i'm not), it works a treat every time, i have no idea why but they avoid you like the plague in the future.