Don't you ever feel like something is missing?

[zweena]

I know what you feel. I felt pretty much the same in my early 20's, especially after quite a hard break-up. I spent a good 18 months living alone, which solved it all pretty much. Can't describe how, but I guess i had to learn how to live with myself.

 

Anyway, by the end of it I felt a lot more 'whole', and after watching 'Hideous Kinky' got the wild thought of backpacking around Morocco. Spent a year researching it, and finally did it for a month. Needless to say, it was incredible (and a wee bit scary!). I suprised myself. There was one moment though that had immense clarity, and I just can't really describe it. After a good couple of weeks exploring and meeting people, I found myself at the edge of the Sahara, watching sunrise over the dunes. It felt like a 'this is it' moment. It sounds immensley corny (and I promise I wasn't smoking any Moroccon specialities, not at that point anyway!), but I felt I'd 'found myself'.

 

I came home, applied for Uni to do science with the aim of a PhD, which I am currently doing now. I gave up my little house and a really good job to be a student. I have to keep pinching myself - this is what I've wanted to do since I was a really little girl.

 

In the years at uni though, with friends a few years younger than me, a few often said about this 'empty' feeling. Maybe it is something we all feel? At the time of my feeling this, my older brother (my guru in many ways) said to me that it's just all normal. He said it's the awakening of realising that you are a full blown adult now and really, the world is your oyster. If you want to do something, you can actually aim to do it.

 

Apologies if I've whittled on and this hasn't helped at all!

[purdyamos]

Caprice, have you thought of joining one or two of the many societies at the Uni? It's one of the best opportunities you'll have to explore what you like, try things you've never done and perhaps chance upon a new passion. Don't think of it as having to look good on your CV, or that it should somehow be 'relevant' to your career. There's also the volunteering group at the Uni if you prefer that route. Was there any hobby or activity that you used to get excited about at school or when you were a kid? Chances are if you follow it up again, the enthusiasm will still be there once you get going.

[koenigsinger]

sometimes, the thing that is missing is there in front of you and all it takes is the realisation that it is the thing you;ve been looking for.

nothing is cast iron guaranteed in life, you have to throw yourself out there.

[seriessix]

sometimes, the thing that is missing is there in front of you and all it takes is the realisation that it is the thing you;ve been looking for.

nothing is cast iron guaranteed in life, you have to throw yourself out there.

 

Does that mean I should take up Bingo at the Mecca?

[pattricia]

I can remember feeling just like this at your age.An"empty" feeling, as though every day is the same. Its the daily "grind" of things that gets you down.The main thought that went through my head at this time was "oh, I do wish something exciting would happen". You soon learn in everyday life that it doesnt.

[EdnaKrabappe]

I agree with a lot of sentiments here.

 

I sometimes wistfully wonder whereI went... This angry young woman with a lot to say for herself, who campaigned and fought for what she believed in and was known as outspoken at high school, I was fairly popular with lots of different types of people without compromising myself or what I believed in.

 

I was discussing this with a colleague tonight. His partner works at my school and he was saying they hardly speak during the week.

 

I've become this unimportant shy person who gets up, goes to work, comes home, has lots of work to do on a night time, doesn't feel like doing it so procrastinates (as i have terribly tonight) and sometimes I just feel like I am Miss Teacher and nothing else (God I do sound like Edna Krabappel now!) I have the weekly night out, the weekend away and the top concerts but these are little pockets of paid for happiness! The rest of the times a bit crap! I have lots of friends from different parts of my life but they all have their own lives and sometimes I don't feel important anymore if that makes sense.

 

God I was alright until i typed that!

 

I have loads of stuff I enjoy doing, including doing lots of things on my own, but I don't feel like I have the time or the money to do them anymore.

 

I sound like Shirley Valentine - perhaps I should run off to Greece!

[miniminch]

I felt like there was something missing for months a few years back, I couldnt put my finger on it and then i realised she'd left me for another man.

[Bago]

I know what you feel. I felt pretty much the same in my early 20's, especially after quite a hard break-up. I spent a good 18 months living alone, which solved it all pretty much. Can't describe how, but I guess i had to learn how to live with myself.

 

Anyway, by the end of it I felt a lot more 'whole', and after watching 'Hideous Kinky' got the wild thought of backpacking around Morocco. Spent a year researching it, and finally did it for a month. Needless to say, it was incredible (and a wee bit scary!). I suprised myself. There was one moment though that had immense clarity, and I just can't really describe it. After a good couple of weeks exploring and meeting people, I found myself at the edge of the Sahara, watching sunrise over the dunes. It felt like a 'this is it' moment. It sounds immensley corny (and I promise I wasn't smoking any Moroccon specialities, not at that point anyway!), but I felt I'd 'found myself'.

 

I came home, applied for Uni to do science with the aim of a PhD, which I am currently doing now. I gave up my little house and a really good job to be a student. I have to keep pinching myself - this is what I've wanted to do since I was a really little girl.

 

In the years at uni though, with friends a few years younger than me, a few often said about this 'empty' feeling. Maybe it is something we all feel? At the time of my feeling this, my older brother (my guru in many ways) said to me that it's just all normal. He said it's the awakening of realising that you are a full blown adult now and really, the world is your oyster. If you want to do something, you can actually aim to do it.

 

Apologies if I've whittled on and this hasn't helped at all!

That's quite motivating.

 

I initially thought that Caprice was maybe going through the quarter-life crisis or something, but I guess she isn't. I remember that period. Now I'm stuck in a rut as well, and time if flying by...

 

It's very gutsy of you to actually take the plunge and sell the house! I don't think I can do that. I can't even remember what I wanted to do as a kid... I've been so brain-washed with the aim of getting a job that, I think I've lost focus on what really fuels the soul. *Sigh*

 

I found that, I love salsa though. My ex once asked me what my passion was, and I said dancing. He said his was video games. He wanted to visit Japan, and actually be working in a QA job for games or something.

 

Caprice: Maybe you've already found your passion. Cos you wrote that you love law and you work in CAB. Maybe try expanding that area, and do volunteer work abroad? Or follow other various type of volunteering work around the UK?

[IDSFLK]

I felt like there was something missing for months a few years back, I couldnt put my finger on it and then i realised she'd left me for another man.

 

That's how I feel now although he didn't finish with me for another woman (or another man).

[zweena]

It's very gutsy of you to actually take the plunge and sell the house! I don't think I can do that. I can't even remember what I wanted to do as a kid... I've been so brain-washed with the aim of getting a job that, I think I've lost focus on what really fuels the soul. *Sigh*

 

It was scary, I had no idea of what to really expect and Sheffield was a long way from home! Uni was hard as well, they had all come straight from college and I'd not really studied full time for 5 years.

 

There are 3 things that have really helped though, and I often wonder whether the people saying them at the time realised the impact:

 

Never let your job define you; you should define your work. At the end of the day, career or not, there really is more to life.

 

It's always better to regret trying something and failing than regret never trying at all.

 

We get ourselves into our own situations, good or bad. It's how we deal with them that counts.

 

I found that, I love salsa though. My ex once asked me what my passion was, and I said dancing. He said his was video games. He wanted to visit Japan, and actually be working in a QA job for games or something.

 

Hey, I used to dance too, loads as a kid! Gave it up when I was 14 for various reasons (none of which were really my choice), but returning to it in February....I'm determined to take it back up again!