Story: 'The Rat Room.'

[Hopman 46]

Here's one for all those who enjoy visiting the local cinema:

 

The Rat Room.

 

Ideal for late night reading...

[pattricia 578]

Hopman,you cheeky little monkey.Scaring me like that.!!!

[shoeshine 10]

"Brilliant!" and "Varmint!" come straight to mind.

[fr8neck 10]

Rascal!!!.......but what was really down there?

[Hopman 46]

Could you write a story about an oil fired boiler?

[mikomi 10]

Is that what's known as takeing the pith.Loved it ........

[coyleys 10]

That was real good Hopman, I must admit you got me at the end.

I thought it may end something like………

 

 

The bony hand grasped Hopmans ankle, he peers down into the bloodshot demonic eyes of the Rat queen.

Her body the form of a mature sensuous scarlet lady, but the facial feachers of a hideous rodent.

Her furry follower’s scurried about his person, sinking their needle like teeth into his soft flesh.

Hopman starts to panic.

Then from the deep canyons of his mind, resonates the sound of Gioacchino Rossini’s William Tell overture in A major.

He forcefully rips away his garb to expose himself.

 

We find it is not Hopman, but the superhero “Vermin man”

He stands erect in his violet dayglow leather lederhosen, in his right hand he brandishes his 55 and ¼ inch claymore, his left hand harnesses his overactive codpiece.

Then with the poise, grace and dexterity of a Wybourn ninja, he decapitates the furry followers, and finally with a provocative glint in his eye and the parody of a Liberace smile, with his well honed tool he penetrates the body of the rat queen, she gives a gasp and her body trembles as her life comes to a climatic end.

 

He makes for the exit of the cinema leaving in his wake a horde of swooning young maidens.

He mounts his trusty steed and rams the lever of the Sturmey Archer into first gear and peddles like bloody hell, arriving at his secret laird just in time to catch the last ten minutes of Big Brother.

 

Sorry about that Hopman, I sometimes get carried away "usually with men in white coats"

[shoeshine 10]

Thank you coyleys for that vividly revised ending to Hopman's tale.

 

I shall not easily sleep in my bed tonight! Curses! Curses!

[Hopman 46]

Sorry Coyleys, but you've missed out one vital point. The incident I portrayed took place in 1981. Big Brother only started in this country in 2000. (Unless you were suggesting that I was in a hurry to catch the Dutch version, which was where the programme originated).

 

For your information, the Rat Queen as you so poetically name her, later moved to Hollywood where she found employment as a body double for Minnie Mouse.

[brisbane 10]

Loved it, my leg was well and truly pulled!

[coyleys 10]

I shall not easily sleep in my bed tonight! Curses! Curses!

 

 

But Shoeshine we will all rest easy in our beds, knowing that Hopman’s alter ego is out there patrolling the streets and sewers in his never ending quest to uphold:

Truth, Justice, and the British Way.

 

Once again, nicely done Hopman, lets have more, much more.

[Mantaspook 14]

Nice one Hopman, you're a RATS. (read backwards)