Happy New Year from Timo

[TeaFan 10]

thank Christ, I thought we'd been the victims of some horrible permanent swap involving you and Norbert Colon.

 

Welcome back.

[timo 10]

I think you are slightly awry in thinking it had been demolished, Hopman.

 

The real story is a little more complicated, and cannot be disclosed under the provisions of the Education Act 1964 for at least another 99 years.

 

I can give you a hint, in coded language though. Basically "Student riot over decrease in Neepsend University Fees"- "charged the building"- "one brick wall fell down on deadheadfred's head"- "deadheadfred's head thicker than wall"- "wall shattered"- "big insurance scam"- "Vice Chancellor's collar felt"-"Guilty"- "Sentenced to writing 100 big words starting H, N, or Y"- "100 big word sentence completed early hours yesterday"- "timo starts this thread".

 

Postscript:- deadheadfred is now doing a Fred Dibnah on old chimneys, a true environmental convert uses his head, saving the wood for recycling.

 

He's got the contract for dropping the two Cooling Towers near Tinsley Viaduct.

 

Postpostscript:- A new degree course has been introduced at Central University Neepsend Tip Site, starting in March - "Batchelor of Arts in Writing 100 Big Words". The Vice Chancellor feels it will benefit many of those caught out trying to Scam on Insurance Claims.

 

Central University Neepsend Tip Site demolished?! Never! We remain at the vanguard of truly progressive higher edukation an that. As a matter of fact, the second semester started last week. So our critics are wide of the mark there. A truly postmodern, thrusting, richly diverse institution such as ours will naturally attract envious critics. You may recall that we attracted the attention of the Daily Telegraph's Education correspondent, John Clare earlier last year. He cruelly dubbed our Neepsend campus ' a national disgrace', claiming that the interactive seminars of our Msc Advanced Beyonce Studies were conducted in 'conditions of near riot'. Mrs Marcia Campbell of Pitsmoor, our 'stand-in' for Beyonce , was described as 'a self-styled Booty Ho in tight batty-riders'. Worst of all, the journalist dubbed our brilliant, young Dean of Arse and Sciences Lord Chaverly as ' a coarse upstart with a broad Brummie accent whose sole qualifications appear to be a certicate of cycling proficiency from some sprawling sink-school in the West Midlands'. This is what we are up against. Life is a vale of ruddy tears.

[shoeshine 10]

So, you obviously revere that trollop "Marcia" but distinctly avoid sending an apology to my landlady (*cough*cough*) your erstwhile but now redundant Secretary and (*cough* cough*cough*) Personal Assistant!

 

Have you no pride? Have you not a smidgeon of sympathy for this delicate lady who trailed you all the way to Grand Cayman, took blame for your doings on that sceptred isle, and for adoration of you suffered the hardship of being the only woman slung in a single-cell gaol occupied only by fine specimens of youthful men? Oh! how she suffered whilst you slipped away to your ivory tower in Neepsend.

 

Many's the night I have listened to her strangulated wheeping echoing around my solitary Box Room just below her attic!

 

Where is your shame, you unfaithful dog you?

[Cycleracer 10]

Have you really been away Timo....can't say I've noticed.

Not been on a great deal myself, but great to have you back Timo old lad.

How you going Shoeshine, not heard from you in a while either.

[shoeshine 10]

Have you really been away Timo....can't say I've noticed.

Not been on a great deal myself, but great to have you back Timo old lad.

How you going Shoeshine, not heard from you in a while either.

 

timo's been taking a break from the Forum due to pressure of work, Paul.

 

By the way, timo still thinks it is January 1985, and believes himself to be just 18 years old.

 

For myself, I'm fine, and thank you for asking.

[Cycleracer 10]

timo's been taking a break from the Forum due to pressure of work, Paul.

 

By the way, timo still thinks it is January 1985, and believes himself to be just 18 years old.

 

For myself, I'm fine, and thank you for asking.

 

Hey Shoe

In 1985 Timo would have been 26, we were at school together.

[shoeshine 10]

Hey Shoe

In 1985 Timo would have been 26, we were at school together.

 

Oh, really!

 

He tell his pals he's only 18! Or was that how long he got for the insurance scam involving the Central University Neepsend Tip Site?

 

We have to move back onto topic Paul. Glad your health scare a few months ago got sorted out and worked out OK for you. PM me if I'm wrong on that one. Be happy!

[TeaFan 10]

What a delightful thread. I hate to add a sour note, but I recently felt compelled to PM Timo with protestations regarding his unwarranted and unauthorised entry into my slumbering subconscious (i.e. the ******* was in my dream).

 

I think that as taxpayers, we have the right to expect better from the V-C of one of our foremost edukashunal establishments, particularly as he manifested in the form of an octogenarian (closer to his real age, I reckon!) with a salacious demeanour, not dissimilar to one J. Saville of Leeds. Whilst there was no direct mention of woods and puppies, I'm sure that somehow these were implied.

 

I demand to know what kind of experimental theology is being carried out at Neepsend Tip Site, and whether others have experienced similar psychic disturbances.

[pattricia 578]

Hey Shoe

In 1985 Timo would have been 26, we were at school together.

 

 

 

Hes never 48 this year is he ???

[rubydazzler 11]

He never came back again, did he ...

 

Like t020, he added value to the daily round, even if only in guise of an irritating itch you wanted to scratch

 

Faretheewell, wherever you both are hiding these days

[StarSparkle 10]

I wouldn't give up on Timo so easily. I'm sure he'll be back amongst us spreading his words of wisdom when he feels the time is right.

 

StarSparkle

[rubydazzler 11]

I wouldn't give up on Timo so easily. I'm sure he'll be back amongst us spreading his words of wisdom when he feels the time is right. StarSparkle

 

Well, wisdom is in the eye of the beholder ... let's hope when/if he comes back he's learned a thing or two ... mmaybe he'll have matured like an old cheese or something