msbehavin Posted January 8, 2007 Share Posted January 8, 2007 The other night my daughter had invited some friends over for a 'sleepover'. She and her friends are aged around 13/14. I know the mum of one of them fairly well, although I wouldn't describe her as a close friend. I like her and admire her values and they way she brings up her kids. Their family took mine on holiday recently too. This mum called at my house before her daughter came to drop off her overnight things. Her daughter was in town at the 'kiddy corp' which runs from 4pm till 7pm. My own daughter was at home with me as she isn't bothered about going to things like that. Me and this mum chatted and in the course of conversation she told me how she always knows where her daughter is all the time. She insist on knowing where she is and with whom. At around half seven her daughter turned up with 2 others whom she had been to 'corp' with so mum made a tactful exit so she wouldn't cramp her daughter's style. All three girls went straight upstairs to the loo. When they came down my daughter and the 3 girls sat in the dining room and I went to see what they wanted to eat. As soon as one of them spoke to me I knew she was either stoned or drunk. So I asked her and she said she was just tired. She was, in fact, drunk. It turned out (and they told me quite voluntarily) that in fact they hadn't been to Corp but had been sat in Weston Park drinking Wkd's and vodka. They had bought the vodka from some helpful corner-shop/off licence guy in Crookes and apparently they do it EVERY WEEK! It seems their parents all think they are at kiddy Corp and there they are in a dark park, drinking vodka then somehow finding their way home. Each week a different girl takes it in turns to be the 'driver' and look after the others so it is obviously pre-meditated. I was all for phoning their parents there and then but my daughter begged me not to and as she had been looking forward to this 'sleepover' I didn't. I know I have to tell the mum as I would want her to tell me if she knew about my daughter. They are putting themselves in danger. My daughter keeps asking me not to as she says it will all come back on her and they will fall out with her. They are all part of a big group and these girls are stronger in the group than she is. So far I have said nothing but I know I have to. I have asked for the girl's phone numbers so I can ask them to tell their parents, but my daughter doesn't want to give them to me. I am just not sure of the best way to approach it with minimal damage all round. Any suggestions? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
savbaby Posted January 8, 2007 Share Posted January 8, 2007 to be honest i wouldnt bother, we all done it as kids and as long as your comfortable that your own daughter would not be lead astray then there is no need. Her friends would probably fall out with her and the parents might not take to kindly to what you have got to say! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fox20thc Posted January 8, 2007 Share Posted January 8, 2007 My answer would be to not allow the girls over again. Or alternatively allow them one more time, and whilst they are sober or in the morning let them know that you know, and you will be telling their parents. That way your daughter wont be totally implicated. And personally I wouldnt encourage her to knock around with them anymore Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
koenigsinger Posted January 8, 2007 Share Posted January 8, 2007 Its a tough one because you dont want to appear to be a 'snitch', but a quiet word in the ear of the girl's mum, would at least alert her to any situation which may easily spiral into something a lot worse. You may lose a bit of face and some cool points in the eyes of the gorls for a while, but in the long run you could be saving them from a whole world of pain and heartache. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pattricia Posted January 8, 2007 Share Posted January 8, 2007 I would actually myself tell the other mother.There are so many 13,14 year olds drinking now,they are the next alchoholics.Sounds tame what they are drinking but one thing leads to another,and they will buy stronger stuff eventually.They may drag your own daughter into it as well. better to be safe than sorry. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
*_ash_* Posted January 8, 2007 Share Posted January 8, 2007 Next time you see the other mum, ask her if she has the internet. If she has, tell there are some interesting things on sheffieldforum.co.uk about kids going to corp for its under 18-s night, a few more hints will bring her to this thread. ash:) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
msbehavin Posted January 8, 2007 Author Share Posted January 8, 2007 My worry is not the sneaky alcohol bit but WHERE they are doing it. These girls live nowhere near Weston Park but meet up with a large group of lads there ( some older) and teenage boys with drunken teenage girls in dark secluded areas could mean trouble. They are also vulnerable in getting home if unscrupulous people see them staggering, giggling etc. I've tried shrugging it off and my daughter says it is none of my busines, but the thing is they MADE it my business when they turned up drunk at my house. I have a lot of time and respect for the one parent that I DO know and I know she would want to know. Suppose I just got to bite the bullet and get on with it but it's just HOW?? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
redrobbo Posted January 8, 2007 Share Posted January 8, 2007 Bite the bullet msbehavin. Your daughter is caught up in peer pressure, whether real or presumed. You need to explain to her that as a responsible parent you need to alert the Mum of her friend to these weekly drinking sprees. These girls aren't any longer experimenting with drink - they are slowly but surely getting hooked on the experience of simply getting drunk. The off license needs a visit from the police. They clearly aren't operating a Challenge 21 policy if they are selling vodka and other alcoholic drinks to 13 and 14 year old girls. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
msbehavin Posted January 8, 2007 Author Share Posted January 8, 2007 Yes Redrobbo (hi by the way! ) My next job was to go to the helpful off licence guy and have a quiet word about his off-licence sales. Luckily, my own daughter is a stay-at-home bird and can think of nothing worse than a night at kiddy corp or sitting in a park! So it's not the worry that she will end up doing the same so much as my worry for the girls and the fact that I know and haven't told this other mum. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rubydazzler Posted January 8, 2007 Share Posted January 8, 2007 If she's a member here, she'll have enough info from your posts to put two and two together ... I'd follow djash's hint ... you don't want to make things uncomfortable for your own child, but at the same time, you don't want the other girls to walk into danger when you could have prevented it. You could just straightforwardly say in the girl's presence something like "You know your girly was a little tiddly when she turned up at my house and so were the friends she brought with her. I didn't know they served alcohol at kiddycorp" You dont have to go into all the details about the other stuff. I'm sure the mum will get the full story out of her later! I'd also try to discourage the friendship with these girls, they don't sound all that really Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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