Should I donate my “seed” to a friend?

[plekhanov 10]

On what grounds to you claim that people make a unconscious decision to be homosexual ? Scientists can't agree on the nature vs nurture argument.

I’ve never claimed that sexuality is a choice of any kind, you the one who said that sexuality is a choice as such the burden of proof is on you to prove it is. Which should be pretty difficult as I’d be fascinated to know why people would ‘choose’ to be homosexual in societies where that ‘choice’ leads to them being persecuted, imprisoned and even killed.

 

I think it's best for a child to be brought up by a mum and dad so they have a role model from each gender - So what. Each gender brings different things to parenting and I think this benefits the child.

Now that’s a reductionist view if ever I saw one, people’s contribution to their families isn’t determined by their gender and even if a mixed sex couple is best for a child that doesn’t mean that any other arrangement is harmful and should be opposed.

 

A nice affluent, well educated, healthy couple with an interest in child rearing might also be ‘best for a child’ does that mean that anyone who falls short of this or any other arbitrary criteria shouldn’t have children?

[plekhanov 10]

yes, it certainly is complex, and can be very unpleasant being hyperovulated (a lady died of it about 18months ago...obviously a risk i would bear in mind!). in this country i believe it's illegal to advertise for either someone willing to be a surrogate mother or to offer your services as a surrogate, but i don't know about teh legality of advertising/offering services as an egg donor, as i haven't got around to looking into it properly yet. tbh, harsh as this sounds, but for the sake of my potential offspring, i would rather sell my eggs (not to the highest bidder) so that i would have the chance to fully vet anyone who i would sell them to (i don't want or need the money myself, i'd invest the money from the eggs such that the resulting babies had something for their futures), and would check that they were financially able to support a baby comfortably. this is why i've said that norbert should go for it - his friend sounds like the ideal sort of lady to raise a child for you (not you, obviously, "you" in general terms).

Things pretty heavily regulated in the UK and I think you are limited to receiving expenses and 'gifts' (not sure what restrictions on those there are) when donating eggs, being a surrogate mother etc. I vaguely recall hearing stories of people being flown over to the US to be paid to donate though, the nurturing drive can be so strong that some people are willing to just throw money at the problem if they're unable to conceive naturally.

[tom3t0 10]

i'd say do it, if your morally ok with the idea. on the note of sperm donation - does anybody have information how i can go about doing this in the uk, i think the closest place is manchester?

[Phanerothyme 12]

I believe anonymous sperm donation is now a thing of the past.

 

Norbert - if you do not want a child of your own, I would suggest respectfully that you don't have one - whether you intend to be a father figure in the child's life or not.

 

You may find, that having donated your sperm and when your friend has delivered a healthy full term baby boy, that your feelings change markedly towards the infant. I would hazard that this is a near certainty.

[chickmonk 10]

Hi Norbert

 

I too think it is great compliment to be asked.

 

My reservation is about the 'no strings' part. There is nothing wrong with being brought up by gay parents. However, I feel that deciding, before the child is even conceived, that one biological parent should not be involved in the child's life is not really right for the child.

 

Cutting a father out of a child's life in this purposeful way, whatever the sexuality of the mother, is not good, I think.

 

Being a parent in whatever capacity has responsibilities attached - and rightly so.

 

In any case, tis just my opinion and I wish you luck, whatever you choose to do.

 

CM x

[cgksheff 44]

....... on the note of sperm donation - does anybody have information how i can go about doing this in the uk, i think the closest place is manchester?

 

Lots of information on this website:

 

http://www.ngdt.co.uk/faq/

 

Sheffield (Jessops) is on their list of clinics.

[Pingpang 10]

Because of course people make a ‘conscious decision’ to choose their sexuality, it’s not in anyway innate

 

The only people who make a conscious decision not to have children are those who say to themselves (and hopefully their partner if they’re honest) ‘I don’t want to have children’ Lesbians have by no means automatically made such a decision. On the contrary the fact that many of them, like for example Norbert’s friend, actively seek and do have children by one means or another would suggest that you are talking complete rubbish, and bigoted rubbish at that.

 

well if a lesbian wants kids, fairy nuff, but don't mess with the turkey baster nonsense

 

there's a much more natural way to conceive, we've been doing it for millions of years

[neddio 10]

I’ve never claimed that sexuality is a choice of any kind, you the one who said that sexuality is a choice as such the burden of proof is on you to prove it is. Which should be pretty difficult as I’d be fascinated to know why people would ‘choose’ to be homosexual in societies where that ‘choice’ leads to them being persecuted, imprisoned and even killed.

 

 

Now that’s a reductionist view if ever I saw one, people’s contribution to their families isn’t determined by their gender and even if a mixed sex couple is best for a child that doesn’t mean that any other arrangement is harmful and should be opposed.

 

A nice affluent, well educated, healthy couple with an interest in child rearing might also be ‘best for a child’ does that mean that anyone who falls short of this or any other arbitrary criteria shouldn’t have children?

 

And you suggested sexuality is innate - Can you back this up.

 

Again everything you have stated is open to personal opinion but of course it is your opinion which is correct.

 

You state that people's contribution to their families is not determined by their gender - Is this is no way at all? Could you please back this up with some fact.

 

Should there be abitrary criteria placed on people having children where possible? Does age not matter ( increased chance of problems for child and mother, increased chance of parents being dead by childs teens, increased chance of miscarriage ) ? Or whether you are a drug addict ( increased chance of problems for child and mother ) ? These factors cannot be controlled when conception is natural but can in artificial cases, and I would suggest doctor's make decisions based on these kinds of factors daily.

[Pingpang 10]

having to gain a parental qualification before being allowed to be a parent might on the face of it be a good idea

 

a bit nazi-like unfortunately, but it'd stop swarms of chavs over running our country

 

compulsory contraceptive injections from puberty until you can prove yourself responsible and caring enuff to deserve to take on the important role of parent

[chickmonk 10]

having to gain a parental qualification before being allowed to be a parent might on the face of it be a good idea

 

a bit nazi-like unfortunately, but it'd stop swarms of chavs over running our country

 

compulsory contraceptive injections from puberty until you can prove yourself responsible and caring enuff to deserve to take on the important role of parent

 

No such thing as a perfect parent - the human race would die out.

 

And Shameless wouldn't be half as funny.

[Pingpang 10]

No such thing as a perfect parent - the human race would die out.

 

And Shameless wouldn't be half as funny.

 

i didn't suggest that parental qualifications would make perfect parents

 

i've never met a perfect person, our imperfections make us unique

 

however, there are some people who blatently haven't got much if anything to contribute to society, and their spawn just drain the world's resources

[chickmonk 10]

i didn't suggest that parental qualifications would make perfect parents

 

i've never met a perfect person, our imperfections make us unique

 

however, there are some people who blatently haven't got much if anything to contribute to society, and their spawn just drain the world's resources

 

I know, I know. Wasn't criticising - was meant to be a small joke. Obviously not a very good one...

 

Mind you, don't blame kids for their parents imperfections - they are unique.