Avalon Posted November 8, 2006 Share Posted November 8, 2006 Hy all As some of you may have ssen in my blog "interesting week" i have met a nice young man who is unfortunatley straight and taken. Ill not go into details but we went our seperate ways on a good note and have been testing each other pretty regularly. That was until yesterday. The last tect i got from him was in regard to him coming to sheffield for a night out, and he was saying he didnt have any free time. Ive not heard from him since, and i have texted him numerous times. I have also texted his g/f to see if she can put my mind at ease. nothing, nada ziltch. Now this chappy has shown me th egood thing about life, and he makes me laugh and generally cheers me up, but now hes not texted me i find myself wondering if my texting him has scared him away and he doesnt want to know me any more. I feel rather down at the moment. Am i depressed or just plain old obsessed? And what do i do? Something or nothing? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Halibut Posted November 8, 2006 Share Posted November 8, 2006 Hi Avalon, I've not read your blog, but from what you've posted here I don't think your depressed or obsessed. My guess is that maybe this guy has enjoyed your company and likes you as a friend but perhaps picked up that you really rather fancy him. Perhaps he felt that you were a little too keen for comfort and has decided to cut it off before it develops into a problem? It might have been more honest of him to actually talk to you about it though. Your comment about this guy making you feel good and know the good things in life - well it's pretty good when you meet someone who makes you feel that way, but have you been feeling a bit fed up lately? When you're down it might be easier to focus on someone and wish they could make you feel happy. Don't be hard on yourself - you've not done anything wrong and if the guy doesn't call again then accept it for what it was; a pleasant but shortlived friendship. Cheers, keep your chin up. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BobbyBunny Posted November 8, 2006 Share Posted November 8, 2006 Oh hun I think you're neither depressed nor obsessed, its a perfectly normal thing to do and I've done the same thing a few times. Its annoying when you like someone who's straight, isn't it? Everyone says you just take it as a normal thing, because its not YOU they don't like, its women (or men, in your case) in general. Its not your fault. Maybe he's taken your 'friendliness' the wrong way, and thinks you might want to be more than friends. Its a really common thing, and annoying as it is, there is nothing that can be done to stop it, because when you say you don't want to be anything more than friends they automatically think you're saying you do. They might be out of credit anyway. You never know. Either way, good luck and keep us posted! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Avalon Posted November 8, 2006 Author Share Posted November 8, 2006 Hey thanks folks. He has just texted me to say hes been focusing on his GF for a while so thats cool. She has texted though to say that she is getting annoyed that im texting her BF so much. I think she has a point. I have been feeling down since i met him, and realised that he was such a nice guy and wasnt available. Its kinda hard with him still being a friend of sorts. Ive said i will cool it a little with the texts and i will try damed hard to do that, but i need something else to focus my attention on so i dont loose a friend! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pattricia Posted November 8, 2006 Share Posted November 8, 2006 Hey thanks folks. He has just texted me to say hes been focusing on his GF for a while so thats cool. She has texted though to say that she is getting annoyed that im texting her BF so much. I think she has a point. I have been feeling down since i met him, and realised that he was such a nice guy and wasnt available. Its kinda hard with him still being a friend of sorts. Ive said i will cool it a little with the texts and i will try damed hard to do that, but i need something else to focus my attention on so i dont loose a friend! Do you think a straight guy finds it exciting to be fancied by you ? But will never take it any further ? Something I have often wondered about Avalon. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JoeP Posted November 8, 2006 Share Posted November 8, 2006 Hey thanks folks. I have been feeling down since i met him, and realised that he was such a nice guy and wasnt available. Its kinda hard with him still being a friend of sorts. Ive said i will cool it a little with the texts and i will try damed hard to do that, but i need something else to focus my attention on so i dont loose a friend! Well just treat the guy as a friend, then. I have several friends of both sexes that I don't text, phone or email regularly but am there for if required. I also have a few closer friends of both sexes that I mail or PM reasonably regularly to stay in touch with, arrange food with, etc. Treat this bloke as a friend, not as a potential partner, and if you want to consider anything start considering that there is a number of people in the world for whom it is appropriate for you to express an attraction, and also there are a large number of people for whom it's inapprpriate. It may be tough but perhaps it's time to look to yourself, get a new interest, etc. rather than pay too much attention to this guy. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
StarSparkle Posted November 8, 2006 Share Posted November 8, 2006 Oh Avalon, come on - he's straight AND he's taken - best to leave well alone in the romantic department. Concentrate on just being good friends with him - that would be my advice. StarSparkle Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bensonhedges Posted November 8, 2006 Share Posted November 8, 2006 I fixated for years on straight boys that I could never have, and it's no good for you (or them). Sorry Avalon but you can't have him and that's it. Now you just need to decide whether you're strong enough to keep him as a friend or if that will be too painful, in which case you need to cut him off and let him get on with his life. I know it's a tired old cliche but if it was meant to be it would have been. Try another one - there will be someone who's right for you and who wants you as much as you want them. You can't go out and find them - they just turn up in your life one day and turn your life upside down (in a good way). Hang on in there hon - you'll be fine. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bago Posted November 8, 2006 Share Posted November 8, 2006 I think this friendship has to be built slowly. It's obviously hard to be a good close friend if the gf finds it a problem. I think if you're good friends, and you do get on a lot, then it is some kind of a test of your friendship. I think I let go of many male friendships because of their relationships as well. However, the ones that are now married, or have known me for longer don't find me a problem whatsoever. Despite whatever little insecurities there are in the beginning of their relationships. Fortunately or unfortunately, sometimes your friends comes in twos. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chumley Posted November 9, 2006 Share Posted November 9, 2006 Putting sexuality to one side, if you keep texting someone you've just met you're going to come across as desperate. If you also keep texting their partner, you're going to come across as desperate, predatory and destructive. Bear in mind, they will tell each other they have got texts from you. As others have said, sort yourself out first (fill your life with hobbies, interests and friendships) and the relationships will follow. People with empty lives don't generally have successful relationships. Fortunately or unfortunately, sometimes your friends comes in twos. Very true, regardless of your sexual orientation. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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