Sheffield Memories - Compiled By L.S.Dunone

[seriessix 10]

During the 70’s L.S.Dunone collected cuttings from the readers letters page of the Sheffield Informer and kept them in a series of scrap books. Over thirty years later these books were re-discovered and revealed details of a lost bygone age. Some of these letters can be found here. Reading these accounts is like taking a view into a past you always wish you had but sadly didn’t.

 

http://sheffieldwriters.ath.cx/SFStoryArchive/1162577813.doc

[pattricia 574]

During the 70’s L.S.Dunone collected cuttings from the letters page of the Sheffield Informer and kept them in a series of scrap books. Over thirty years later these books were re-discovered and revealed details of a lost bygone age. The very best of these letters have been compiled book, some of which can be found here. Reading these letters is like taking a view into a past you always wish you had but sadly didn’t.

 

http://sheffieldwriters.ath.cx/SFStoryArchive/1162577813.doc

 

 

One word, seriessix, brilliant.

[shoeshine 10]

Isn't seriessix just inspirational, pattricia? He/she is a true joy to read with every contribution.

[pattricia 574]

Isn't seriessix just inspirational, pattricia? He/she is a true joy to read with every contribution.

 

 

I think seriessix is a she.I didnt quite "get her" at first but once I got used to her style,I thought she was a brilliant, descriptive writer. In a class of her own.

[seriessix 10]

Honourable Dishonour versus Life’s Ambitions

 

Dear Sir,

I’d like to share a short tale with the readers. Many years ago, before my arthritis really set in, I had an allotment up in Hillsborough. I’d go up there most evenings and all day on Sundays to tend to my vegetables, I think I must have saved my husband and I quite a bit of money as my green fingers provided quite a harvest.

 

Anyway, one day when I got to the allotment I noticed that the shed door was open, this was odd as I always kept it locked with a padlock my husband had given to me for Christmas. I cautiously opened the door to discover a midget fast asleep on one of my deck chairs, I got my rake and prodded him until he woke. He looked as startled as I was and quickly explained that he was a travelling man and just needed a place to stay for the night. He also explained that he loved gardening and was always drawn to allotments as their calm atmosphere’s provided him with a relaxed environment in an otherwise hectic world.

 

To be honest I quickly warmed to this chap, we talked till late in the evening about soil, roses and compost. Soon it was time for me to leave for home but this man seemed genuine so I offered him the shed to sleep in for as long as he wanted. Well the next few weeks were like a whirlwind. Together we tended the allotment – Oddly though my new friend would never take me up on the offer of supper at my home. Then one day he revealed a very personal secret to me. He told me that he’d always wanted to grow a parsnip that was taller than he was. Well as you can imagine I was quite taken aback by this revelation, but that evening we decided to go for it and try to fulfill his ambitious dream and grown a prize parsnip.

 

So that summer we spent all our spare time up at the allotment tending to our crop of parsnips, towards the end of that hot summer the parsnips were looking very big. I remember me and my new friend looking over those vegetables with a feeling of joy and pride, we didn’t know for sure but we definitely had the feeling that his life’s ambition could soon be realised.

The following day I was woken by a loud knock at the door. I was greeted on the door step by two officers of the law. They showed me a photograph and asked me if I recognised the man in the picture, it was my new friend. Apparently he had been selling hedgehogs to the local butcher pretending that they were rabbits. He was also wanted in several other counties for other similar crimes. As you can imagine I was shocked to the core but I still managed to escort the officers up to my allotment. When we arrived the man had gone. The officers found the bones of several ducks and swans around the back of the shed, they guessed he’d caught them at the local park for food. But sitting on the deck chair in the shed was one of our giant parsnips, it was slightly deformed and looked like it had two small arms and some little legs. I looked at it closely and could swear it had a likeness to my fugitive friend it even looked to have his small beard. Next to the parsnip was a brand new padlock, I suppose to replace the one he damaged when he broke into my shed.

 

He was a dishonest but honorable man and I remember him fondly, I feel that his spirit is never far away though especially when I set my eyes upon the tank that I pickled that parsnip in, it sits on top of the TV in the front room.

 

Edna Ramsbothom.

[shoeshine 10]

Stunned, seriessix, what can I say...that's not been said before?

[pattricia 574]

Yes, love it. Why not write a book ? You probably have done.

[rinz 10]

Hi...

Could you tell me more about L.S.Dunone's collected cuttings? Have they been compiled into a book? And is the compiler based in Sheffield....?

 

I am currently doing some research on writing that deals with the city of Sheffield.... hence, the questions.....

[Mantaspook 14]

This writing is hilarious.

 

It’s like reading the review of a mental asylum garden fete, written by a bemused, whimsical, courteous Englishman whose tolerance of eccentricity knows no bounds.

 

Tom Sharpe is another writer that does this very well - on the back cover of his book “Riotous Assembly” it warns you not to read the book on a train, library or public place where you have to stay quiet as you may rupture yourself laughing.

 

If you ever publish a book of these musings Seriessix, you may have to include the same warning. Excellent writing!

[Gypsy Hack 10]

That is quite brilliant, seriessix. Tom Sharpe comparisons are well justified, especially in that last letter.

 

I think this would work great as a book, particularly using the kind of 'running discussion' like the woman in the animal bikini.

[seriessix 10]

Here it is, thanks to SF for putting up with my nonsense.....

 

 

http://www.lulu.com/content/469776

[seriessix 10]

Hi...

Could you tell me more about L.S.Dunone's collected cuttings? Have they been compiled into a book? And is the compiler based in Sheffield....?

 

I am currently doing some research on writing that deals with the city of Sheffield.... hence, the questions.....

 

Hi rinz,

This is all fiction (well most of it).