willman Posted November 3, 2006 Share Posted November 3, 2006 Well I've had a chat with her and apologised for flying off the handle like I did. And I've un-grounded her and I'll allow her back to Meadowhall.. She was very upset and kept apologising as I did too. She told me that she didn't go onto any of the BIG machines (her words) and that she'll be more carefull with her money next time.. I've given her a limit of £5 MAX to spend in the arcades the next time she goes, but she say's she won't go in again.. I think I've put her off:| Anyway, all is well again and she's stopped crying and I feel better for eating humble pie.. :) i dont hink you need telling that you've done good, you'll probably feel a whole lot better now than you did. it takes a lot to admit a mistake to a child and apologie sincerely. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sarah1 Posted November 3, 2006 Author Share Posted November 3, 2006 i dont hink you need telling that you've done good, you'll probably feel a whole lot better now than you did. it takes a lot to admit a mistake to a child and apologie sincerely. Thanks willman.. I do feel better now.. I also feel a bit stupid too for the way I acted.. Maybe I'm the one that should get the punishment now.. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lady linz Posted November 3, 2006 Share Posted November 3, 2006 £50 for the phone Christ how demanding are kids nowadays, I am lucky to spend £50 a year on the mobile phone. 50p u silly person ha ha Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
willman Posted November 3, 2006 Share Posted November 3, 2006 Thanks willman.. I do feel better now.. I also feel a bit stupid too for the way I acted.. Maybe I'm the one that should get the punishment now.. that should be a seperate post... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
babychickens Posted November 3, 2006 Share Posted November 3, 2006 i dont' think you were harsh at all. things are pretty black and white - she shouldn't have done that, and she knows it. if it was my daughter i wouldn't give her any more money unless she did something to earn it - whether that be help with basic housework (maybe she already does this) or maybe help at the cat shelter, or something like that. if she can't be trusted to make a decision like not frittering over £10 away on something so useless as an arcade then she needs to learn how to earn her own £10 - i bet she wouldn't spend £10 that she'd earnt at an arcade, and i bet she wouldn't have done it with birthday money. well done for arranging better terms with her though! i think you're right, she won't go back in a hurry (to the arcade, not hell). Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cyclone Posted November 3, 2006 Share Posted November 3, 2006 i dont' think you were harsh at all. things are pretty black and white - she shouldn't have done that why? , and she knows it.how, psychic abilities? if it was my daughter i wouldn't give her any more money unless she did something to earn itmaybe she did, we weren't told where hte £10 came from - whether that be help with basic housework (maybe she already does this) or maybe help at the cat shelter, or something like that. if she can't be trusted to make a decisionso you think she should make a decision, but only the one you like like not frittering over £10 away on something so useless as an arcade then she needs to learn how to earn her own £10 - i bet she wouldn't spend £10 that she'd earnt at an arcade, and i bet she wouldn't have done it with birthday money. well done for arranging better terms with her though! i think you're right, she won't go back in a hurry (to the arcade, not hell). Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
babychickens Posted November 3, 2006 Share Posted November 3, 2006 Originally Posted by babychickens i dont' think you were harsh at all. things are pretty black and white - she shouldn't have done that why? Quote: , and she knows it. how, psychic abilities? Quote: if it was my daughter i wouldn't give her any more money unless she did something to earn it maybe she did, we weren't told where hte £10 came from Quote: - whether that be help with basic housework (maybe she already does this) or maybe help at the cat shelter, or something like that. if she can't be trusted to make a decision so you think she should make a decision, but only the one you like Quote: like not frittering over £10 away on something so useless as an arcade then she needs to learn how to earn her own £10 - i bet she wouldn't spend £10 that she'd earnt at an arcade, and i bet she wouldn't have done it with birthday money. well done for arranging better terms with her though! i think you're right, she won't go back in a hurry (to the arcade, not hell). why shouldn't the daughter do taht? because clearly it is something her mother disapproves of. the way i read the OP suggested that the daugher knew she shouldn't because she'd been giggling with her friend about it. re the origin of the tenner - yes, i misread it, perhaps she did earn it. as far as the decision to be made goes, you might notice i said 'if it was my daughter', not 'even though she's your daughter'. is she was my daughter, it would have been my decision, and hence would have been the decision i liked. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cyclone Posted November 3, 2006 Share Posted November 3, 2006 Sorry, when I was talking about the decision it was in reference to the "If she can't be trusted to make a decision like that". My point being that if you trust a child to make a decision, then you have to accept the decision they make. You can't say, here's £10 to spend, then when they've spent it say "you've done it wrong and now i'll punish you". Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
babychickens Posted November 3, 2006 Share Posted November 3, 2006 Sorry, when I was talking about the decision it was in reference to the "If she can't be trusted to make a decision like that". My point being that if you trust a child to make a decision, then you have to accept the decision they make. You can't say, here's £10 to spend, then when they've spent it say "you've done it wrong and now i'll punish you". aaah, now i understand. i disagree though - i think you don't have to accept what decision they've made. if you don't like it, you act accordingly to encourage them to 'better' choices. £10 could get her so many better things than a trip to an arcade, in my opinion (although not in everyone's, obviously), hence if it was my daughter i would be disappointed (maybe not angry, i don't know) and would want her to understand that it wasn't something i would consider 'right'. children are not stupid, but they do need guidance. i still maintain taht the daughter probably knew she wasn't meant to spend it in the arcade, so should expect her mother not to be happy. if the daughter is happy to take that chance, then fair enough. i expect the daughter just didn't think what her mum would think. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cyclone Posted November 3, 2006 Share Posted November 3, 2006 Wouldn't it be fairer to talk to them in advance about what decision they might make and why. Rather than leaving them too it and then punishing them for not meeting criteria that they weren't even aware of. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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