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Looking after your parents


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wow i wish I had talked to you guys when I was younger, it took me a long time to get my head around where I was in the pecking order within the family...it appears I am not the only one.....I bet ya that whilst your parents make you feel a little inadequate at times they secretly brag about you all the time their friends...they will never let you know though. they are scared to death that you will not need them , you need to be reminded that you are the child because they never want to loose you...

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I've been having a similar conversation to this with my girlfriend recently. She's chinese and has been in the UK for just over a year, so there are still many aspects of UK culture that she doesn't know about.

 

She asked me recently about care of old people and was shocked when I told her that they don't usually live with their grown-up children in the UK. Due to one-child rule in China, old people usually live with their child because there's often no one else to look after them. She made me promise that if we ever settle down together, her parents would have to come and live with us here when they reach retirement age. :o:)

 

I explained to her that old people in the UK usually either live on their own or in retirement homes. My grandma lived on her own and she was always adamant that she'd never go in a home. Although she had arthritis and had a home-help visit her a few times each week, she still lived in her own bungalow and took care of herself. In her last three months she was in hospital after a bad fall and started losing her mind until she died from a pulmonary embollism. It turned out that she was right - she never did go into a home. :(

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wow i wish I had talked to you guys when I was younger, it took me a long time to get my head around where I was in the pecking order within the family...it appears I am not the only one.....I bet ya that whilst your parents make you feel a little inadequate at times they secretly brag about you all the time their friends...they will never let you know though. they are scared to death that you will not need them , you need to be reminded that you are the child because they never want to loose you...

Not really sure what to say. :)

Yes, you did hit the nail on the head about the inadequacies. It's nice to hear that they're proud of you once in a while.

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they look after you until you can spread your wings and when they are old shouldnt you contribute something to help them out? as the state pension is crap, i give my parents £50 a week so they can life a easlier life, whats a few pounds to you a few pints while a pensioner can turn heating on without fear of not able to afford it!

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My mum always said, if she was infirm she wanted to go in a home, not be a burden. She got Alzheimers and cancer, and my brother and I looked after her for ages until it became so that she needed carrying downstairs and she barely knew us. She went into a home and died peacefully there with proper care. Yes it was hard, especially with looking after my children too, but I would do it again. After all, she looked after me for long enough.

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