The diary of Mildred Kelp -Am I being unreasonable?

[seriessix 10]

hi,you re writing is nice.we all woman had a least one diary in our entirely life.there are just a few men ,who have one ,and just a tiny percent who make it public.how much percent is fiction and how much is real life in your writting ,if i can ask?

 

 

Thankfully all fiction.

[shoeshine 10]

Thankfully all fiction.

 

No it's not, you are as mad as a hatter!

[Hopman 46]

My husband has been working two part time jobs recently. He gets in at about one in the afternoon from one job and then heads off again about four thirty to the other. Yesterday afternoon I heard him unlocking the door and thought it would be fun if I surprised him, so I hid inside the cupboard in the living room.

 

Are you certain that it was your husband who was in the house???

[seriessix 10]

Nov 27

 

Last night I was talking to husband about Christmas and Christmas presents, I mentioned that I had a few nice surprises in mind for him and was curious if he had any gift ideas for me. He then told me that he keeps a ledger in the basement that he fills in every evening; apparently he enters a score based on my behavior that day. He says that my gift will be solely based on the year’s results when he adds them all up on the 24th of December. I’m not sure if I should be happy or worried.

[seriessix 10]

Recently my husband has become extremely interested in wildlife programs. He says he likes to see these wild animals in their natural habitat as opposed to in zoos (he now calls zoo’s animal jails). So he decided to get a kitten as they are like shrunken lions. I don’t mind it actually but I don’t like it messing everywhere and my husband refuses to put down a litter tray. He says that lions in the wild don’t use trays, which is correct I suppose.

 

This morning it messed on the kitchen table which does not seem right, is putting a tray down when my husband is out being sneaky?

[seriessix 10]

Why is that when my husband gets an idea into his head it involves me? I feel that I'm too young to have children, but he says he wants them. This has been an on-going issue with us but recently his interest in procreation has taken a new direction.

 

Last month he spied a nest (frequented by a loving pair of sparrows) in our back garden and quickly became fixated with it. Day and night he would stand in our bedroom gazing at it. Then last Tuesday he put on his mothers feathered hat and attached an inflated rubber glove to his chin and usurped the male sparrow from his nest. He's been crouching on the nest for last five days and won't even talk to me in English any more. Twice a day he performs a ritual dance that involves frantic gyrations and unintelligible squawking. Has my unreasonable behavior forced him into this situation?

[seriessix 10]

I thought Christmas was all about family and friends. It’s meant to be a happy time when people get together and have fun and exchange gifts, when we have some time off work to relax and eat nice food. Unfortunately my husband has other ideas.

 

I should not be surprised I suppose, he has notoriously deep pockets and short arms, even his mum agrees with that. Last year he got me a second hand batik kit which I did eventually use to make a table cloth. We are economising at the moment so he decided to be enterprising and get some seasonal work. He thinks that as no one wants to work over Christmas he can charge double. He got the addresses of all the local old people’s homes from the yellow pages and then hand posted out flyers he made promoting his act. This act is an acoustic Status Quo tribute band called Quo Quazi, this band consists of him singing and playing the guitar and his mum on percussion.

 

Amazingly he got two bookings, both on Christmas day, so I’ll be on my own. He and his mum get a free dinner at both of the care homes. I asked to come along and watch but he said that I’d put him off. Is it fare to leave me alone on Christmas or should I be pleased that he’s making us some needed cash?

[burny 10]

Yup I loved it too!

[pattricia 575]

Do you realise that some people are actually replying to you thinking that your stories are fact ?? Its so funny. :hihi: Shows how good you are.

[shoeshine 10]

Do you realise that some people are actually replying to you thinking that your stories are fact ?? Its so funny. :hihi: Shows how good you are.

 

Isn't it a real diary then?

[seriessix 10]

Dec 28th 2006

 

My husbands birthday was in October and his mum bought him a beer making kit from Boots which I thought was unusual as he dose not normally drink wine or beer. Today was like a second Christmas to him as his first lot was ready, the recipe was titled Hop Beer (which I suppose is what all beer is made from). He made me and his mum try some and it was okay but not something your want to drink too much of, we both said we liked it though as he was so proud. He must of drank about five or six pints of it in the end and came to bed later than usual. I woke at 2am feeling very hot, he was clasped onto me snoring right into my face with sour hoppy breath. I wanted to go and sleep on the sofa to get away from the noise but his mum was up watching a documentary on TV.

[pattricia 575]

Dec 28th 2006

 

My husbands birthday was in October and his mum bought him a beer making kit from Boots which I thought was unusual as he dose not normally drink wine or beer. Today was like a second Christmas to him as his first lot was ready, the recipe was titled Hop Beer (which I suppose is what all beer is made from). He made me and his mum try some and it was okay but not something your want to drink too much of, we both said we liked it though as he was so proud. He must of drank about five or six pints of it in the end and came to bed later than usual. I woke at 2am feeling very hot, he was clasped onto me snoring right into my face with sour hoppy breath. I wanted to go and sleep on the sofa to get away from the noise but his mum was up watching a documentary TV.

Seriessix, is this fact or fiction ? Whatever it is, its funny.