Do parents want to be "best friends" with their kids these days ?

[Justin Smith 10]

I suppose it depends how tightly one wants to define "best friend" but I could not envisage disciplining any of my friends at all. In fact I`m sure if I did we wouldn`t remain friends for much longer !

[Henrietta 10]

I could not envisage disciplining any of my friends

Yes, but would you be honest with your friends and tell them when they have behaved inappropriately? Or be there with them and love them even when they think they have done a massive F up?

.

[Justin Smith 10]

I think part of the problem is that there are two definitions of the word respect which are commonly confused. Respect can mean "admiration", or it can be used in the sense of "defer to".

It`s obviously preferable if one feels both definitions of the word toward (say) your teacher or boss, but at the end of the day one has to defer to them even if one does not admire them.

Whilst being brought up myself it was always an absolute that I defered to my parents. I was not "friends" with them (esp my Dad !) but once I left home it all changed, as I would expect it to, and I am now very close to both of my parents.

[Tess 10]

Well said your mom should be proud of you:)

Aww thankyou

 

edit - i showed her the post and she ended up crying. which naturally, made me cry too

[nightwish 10]

I find it highly doubtful that any child will tell their parents everything, they may tell you what they think you want to hear to keep the peace probably most of the time.

 

I think you have to be very careful if you want to be their friend as friends dont normally tell them off if they do something wrong.

 

I am not as daft as that I expect my daughter not to tell me everything so you have to do a bit of detective work sometimes if you want to find things out.

 

It would' nt be normal to be your childs best friend you are their parents not their friends.

 

You can try to talk to them the best you can and guide them but ultimately most of the time they will want to do what their peers are doing and be like their friends not their parents especially when teenagers.

[Bago 10]

I haven't read through the whole thread this time, but I just want to add this much to the topic.

 

There's a big difference between preach, to teach. I think for me, my parents always preached. Preach when its the wrong time to do so. Preach even when something has not happened yet. Sometimes I just shut up and be on the defensive in case it may trigger them to potentially preaching, so therefore I zone out.

 

Why are there no encouragements ? Why must a child be compared with every 'good' child on the block ? To me, it's not about being a mate or friend with a child. It's being real. Truthful. I do think that as adults we have to be role models too.

 

I was in tears last week when I found out how a child that I knew was so mature in his approach and thinking, but he could never explain to his mom why he did what he did. As all she could see and feel were the disappointments in him in not getting good grades at school.

[paul20 10]

My father was a very strict man and we all lived in fear of him. I am the eldest of four brothers and until I left home and got my own place I hated my father. When I had my own house his atitude to me changed completely and we became best friends.

 

I now have a son of my own and from the day he was born I promised him I would always be his best friend. He is now 17 and we are and always have been best friends, he tells me everything that happens and asks me for help and advice when ever he needs it. He has no problems telling me anything and I think that is a good thing.