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Story: 'The day my grandfather died.'


Mantaspook

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Reminds me of Grandpa Simpson. 'What? Sehhhhhhhhx? Why does it make you so uncomfortable hearing your old man talk about Sehhhx. I had Sehhhx.' :D

 

Seriously, aside from the ending, which speaks for itself, one thing that did strike me was the handling of the tone. You build the reader's mood up very skillfully, from the Sheff-noir intro and despondent surroundings into the house, where everything comes from the increasingly comic interactions between Davy and Gran. It's a perfectly packaged little story, even things I would normally criticise (such as occasional over-use of adjectives) work within its confines.

 

It's almost like one long, drawn-out stand-up joke. Food for thought, Mantaspook? ;)

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“Sheff Noir” Love it, I can just see the Wikapedia entry 50 years from now.

 

Sheff Noir any expression originally coined by Gypsey Hack to describe a disgruntled writers group that originated on the Sheffield Forum, their gritty realistic stories were “darker than Hendersons Relish” [citation needed] and evoked much scholarly debate and laughter, albeit unintentionally.

 

:hihi: :hihi: :hihi: :hihi: :hihi: :hihi: : :thumbsup: :thumbsup: :thumbsup: :thumbsup: Think that sums it up, sheer magic!

 

Glad you liked it.

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  • 2 weeks later...

I had to chuckle at this one Mantaspook, it just reminded me of my mother-in- law, she was of the same mould, they say “out of the mouth of babes” well I believe it should be “out of the mouth of pensioners”.

This is the first I’ve read of yours, if the rest are similar I have some good reading to look forward to.

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