mistyraven Posted September 26, 2006 Share Posted September 26, 2006 My daughter just moved up to a new school and is been bullied, She could not sleep last night and was so scared she was late home trying to avoid them. I went in to school and had a word over this, My other daughter told me I should have not I may have made things worse. This girl told my daughter she going to kill her. I am scared she is going to turn up with a knife. I have talked with my daughter and told her to stand up to her, I am really worried. Do you think I am right over going in to school? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Salster! Posted September 26, 2006 Share Posted September 26, 2006 Yes, the school need to be made aware of this problem immediately so that they can keep an eye on the girl that has made threats. By going in and making them aware, they have a duty of care to ensure that your daughter is safe. I hope all goes well Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Minesadouble Posted September 26, 2006 Share Posted September 26, 2006 Yes definately misty These days sometimes standing up for yourself can prove fatal .... Speak to the school or the girls mum maybe Grrrr this behaviour really annoys me Good Luck .x Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
medusa Posted September 26, 2006 Share Posted September 26, 2006 I'm not sure what specifically I'd do, but having been bullied myself when I was younger, I can give you a couple of pieces of general advice. 1 Keep your daughter in the loop and empower her by allowing her a voice in the process and decision making- she's probably feeling disempowered enough already. 2 Whatever decision is made on a way forwards, make sure that your daughter knows what to expect. In my case I was told repeatedly that I was 'safe now' and that nothing would happen again- and when it did it just made everything that I'd been told look totally pointless. It was more of an abuse than if people had just allowed me to be frightened and avoid problems in my own way. 3 Don't allow your temper to determine what happens here- when you lose it with the other parent you may as well admit defeat because what was a 2 person problem has now become a 4 or 6 person problem. I'm sorry if this doesn't help you in any way- I don't think any of us know enough about this situation to advise you- but my symapthy and empathy are with you and your daughter at this tough time. I hope you find a viable way forwards for her in her school life. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Heyesey Posted September 26, 2006 Share Posted September 26, 2006 First and foremost, make sure she knows how to throw a brick. In any cases of physical-abuse bullying, that's the fastest and most efficient way to put a permanent end to it. Psychological bullying is a lot harder to deal with. (It's also more common than violence, if the bully is female). You need the support of the school - by which I mean actual support and not just someone saying "we'll do all we can." The bullies need to be isolated and dealt with. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mistyraven Posted September 26, 2006 Author Share Posted September 26, 2006 THANKS.. I am off to bed now. Not that I will sleep. THANKS again. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kittenta Posted September 26, 2006 Share Posted September 26, 2006 yes you should have told school so that they can keep an eye on things there. What they may have thought were playful remarks or actions might be seen otherwise now that they know. Can your daughter not walk home with someone else or be picked up even if it makes her feel safer. Discuss this with her but make sure she knows that ignoring it isn't really an option but at the same time you aren't going to make her do something she doesn't want to. Have a word with the other childs parents. Often the embarrasment of having another parent point out their childs actions can kick start them into doing something about it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
enaid Posted September 26, 2006 Share Posted September 26, 2006 hi there my grandson is 8 and since he was 6 has been bullied.he is taller than the other kids and when he told the teachers was ignored,he wont hit back at the other kids because he has been taught not to hit others,and now when he gets hits just says to them..that didnt hurt me..his mother has told the teacher about this and has been told they will look into it..nothing has been done..my daughter has told the teachers that if he hits back he will hurt someone..and then it will be him who will be in trouble...he is as soft as a brush and wouldnt hurt a fly..but because he is a big lad then no one takes any notice...teachers and dinner ladies must be aware of things thats going around them and not look at the size and think oh he's bigger than the others he can look after himself..or he must have started it the others are smaller..my grandson is the sweetest,loving and kindest child.but a child will only take so much...he thinks its wrong to hit or call names to any other child.i think you were right to go to school..they have to sort out the bullies before its to late..keep on at them..and i hope your daughter is ok and trys to ignore the bullies..because they want a reaction and if u dont give it they are lost.. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
boosh Posted September 26, 2006 Share Posted September 26, 2006 My daughter just moved up to a new school and is been bullied, She could not sleep last night and was so scared she was late home trying to avoid them. I went in to school and had a word over this, My other daughter told me I should have not I may have made things worse. This girl told my daughter she going to kill her. I am scared she is going to turn up with a knife. I have talked with my daughter and told her to stand up to her, I am really worried. Do you think I am right over going in to school? Just support for you...you have had lots of advice and you did the right thing. Keep talking to your daughter...any more problems go into school again...expose the bully. Best wishes Boosh Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Betty1 Posted September 26, 2006 Share Posted September 26, 2006 I totally agree that you did the right thing by going into school . I am really pleased that your daughter has had the courage to tell you she is being bullied. The fact that she feels able to do this is a good reflection on your relationship with her. I was bullied at school - nothing too physical but I was called names, kicked and threatened by several girls throughout the 5 years I was there. I can honestly say they were the worst days of my life and I couldn't wait to leave. This happened in the days when you really didn't dare report them - no anti-bullying policies then - it was all ' part of school life' apparently. I never told my parents and it is only in the past few years that I have told my Mum how miserable I was at school - she was really upset because she had no idea. I never felt that I could talk to her about it. Being bullied at school had a huge impact on my confidence in life and it is only in the past few years - baring in mind that I am now nearer to 50 than 40 - that I have begun to 'find myself'. A few years ago I went to a school reunion and saw one of the girls that used to bully me there. I plucked up courage and went up to her. She didn't remember me but I found the courage to tell her how miserable she made me throughout my 5 years at that school - and she APOLOGISED ! I was shaking when I walked away but it made me feel SO good ! Just continue to be there for your daughter, encourage her to talk about her day at school and to tell you if anyone has upset her . Good luck ! X Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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