How long does it normally take to settle into a new job?

[hmr44]

I started my new job last Monday. I've had lots of general training but I've really been thrown in the deep end. I'm working for 3 people. One is lovely but the other two are really upsetting me, I can't ask them anything because they make me feel stupid, and if I make a tiny mistake they make a massive deal about it, even though I try to explain why I thought it was right. Its really been the final straw today when I pick up a dictation (I'm a secretary) and it has the woman who I work for saying how she thinks I am inexperienced and says to the lady doing it 'unlike you who is very experienced and does everything right' (with a laugh) and says how she should tell me how to do something so maybe I 'will get faster and not be flustered at the end of the day'.

 

The funny thing is I knew exactly how to do what she was asking, and did it all right. And I'm only 'flustered' because she gives me no work during the day, so I help the other girls out and then she gives me tonnes of stuff at 4pm so not only am I helping the others out, I am rushing to finish the work at 5, and the past week I've stayed a bit later.

 

I am trying so hard to learn everything, and it reduced me to tears on my dinner when I was speaking to my boyfriend about it, something I hardly ever do, especially about work.

 

I don't want to tell anybody because I don't want them to think I don't know what I'm doing.

 

Has anybody else been like this when starting a new job?

[taxman]

Sounds like a complete scumbag to me!!!

 

I've been lucky in that wherever I've worked everyone has been really nice and helpful, even people more junior than me who had to show me things, they never seemed resentful or churlish.

 

Good luck, I hope you feel better about the situation soon, it must be awful to be in your situation. Chin Up!!

[Sultana]

It sounds as if you are just going to have to make them eat their words, by continuing to do a good job, and not letting them see that you are upset. If, after a few weeks, you are still miserable, it might be an idea to look for another job. Good luck.

[RichC]

This woman is plainly a bully. Try standing up to her; it might just make her realise how nasty she's being and get her to back off a bit.

[hmr44]

I'm so glad you think the same. I thought I was being oversensitive. I've even typed what she said about me on the tape, so I can show my mum and see if she thought I was over-reacting.

 

I love the company so much though, I'm going to stick it out and do my best, and maybe on my monthly review, explain to my HR manager - if its still the same.

[EdnaKrabappe]

Sunshine she sounds like she is going to be a class A cow to work for.

You've only been there a short while so if she is not happy with the standard of your work or you are not doing something to company expectations, she doesn't know you well enough to make a joke regarding it.

I would challenge her regarding it. Approach her with the tape and ask her directly that you'd like to speak to her about the management of your workload. Explain what you have on here and say that you feel she also has an issue with it due to her comments on the tape but that you'd rather she spoke directly and constructively towards you. If she is offhand with you, it honestly depends what sort of person she is, bullies tend to back down at the person who stands up to them. However whatever you do don't let her persistantly treat you like this. It's just a job at the end of the day.

 

I worked for a bully once in retail. In the end she got her just desserts and but it took a further thirteen people after myself and countless ones before me before action was taken. I know this as i later worked for head office and saw the letters about her. People had been in mental hospital because of her. I was shocked that someone who i had complained about (I had nine years impeccable experience) was allowed to get away with it.

 

Good luck and don't let her treat you like this.

[weenireeni]

awwww sunshine poor you ive been bullied at work before and it took me a while to complain, ive never had any criticism like that before - and it was personal as well as work related.

 

sounds like youve got the right idea and wait till your review, keep the tape as evidence though! does your boss realise what she has said has been captured on tape??? im just trying to work out if she was talking about you behind your back (typical middle aged women tactics), or if shes deliberately trying to hurt you! i know its not nice either way

 

from what youve said it sounds like you have done nothing for her to be unhappy with your work - maybe you could have a word with the nice person you work for her, find out if shes normally like that - maybe theres been a high staff turnover and she thinks youll leave soon anyway?

 

good luck, try and stick it out - if you leave she'll have won!!!

[MickeyBarnes]

you'll get into the swing of it and once you've got the job nailed, you can tell her to stick her comments up her arse.

 

to make you feel happy right now, i suggest doing secret sneaky things in revenge to cheer yourself up.

 

The classic ones are obviously spitting in tea etc. I once urinated in my flatmates ribena. Very satisfying.

[babychickens]

how about - every time she speaks to you, you just stare at her, don't answer, just stare. maybe consider having your teeth sharpened to little viscious points, then every once in a while you could smile at her.

 

if she has no respect for you and isn't prepared to take the time to learn whether she should respect you or not, perhaps you shouldn't give her any of your attention.

 

seriously though, you need to tell her - don't ask her any questions, just tell her that you don't think her attitude towards you is appropriate, and say that you expect her to treat you with respect as a person, even if you need to ask for help with your job. remember - it's easier to stick up for yourself and be treated well by her in the future than have someone else do it for you.

 

you could even add that you can see why she has a reputation (even if she doesn't, it'll make her good and paranoid) and that 300 years ago she would have been burned as a witch.

[hmr44]

Thanks everybody, I'm quite shy so I doubt I'll stand up for myself.

 

I've deleted the dictation as it is digital (on screen) I've wrote down what she said, but wish I could have kept it because my mum says that she read it in a different way to me, as if my boss sounded like she wanted to help me. But its the way she said it, if you know what I mean!

 

I think if anything else happens, I'll have to do something about it but for now I'm going to try and make all my work perfect so she can eat her words!