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The Sheffield Student Agenda for September 2006


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By a process of careful observation in the Broomhill area alone, one has observed the following about the new intake of SHeffield students. Items on the agenda for September 2006 include, but not exclusively, the following:

 

Semester One: Compulsory Core Units for ALL subjects

To become proficient and with a full working knowledge of the following:

1) Controlled and targeted projectile vomiting at both stationary and moving vehicles and persons, buildings, shopwindows and other non-moveable objects as deemed appropriate by the student at any time

2) Random and variable vomiting on stationary objects, to include parked vehicles, waste paper bins, Bank car parks, road and pavement surfaces, buildings and also organic materials to include bushes and sides of trees, with extra points for hitting cats or other Broomhill resident pets, moving or non moving.

3) The art of extreme drunkenness and intoxication in a manner likely to cause a substantial breach of the peace, and not to seek approval in any way shape of from from any local non-student resident.

4) The art of loud, meaningless, beligerent vocal intonations and interruptions which may even with advanced decoding and decryption equipment, may still make not the slightest of sense in relation to any known language or custom recognized by the State.

 

 

I could go on.......someone else add to this....:hihi:

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ADDITIONAL STUDENT ITEM:

Stand in the middle of the road talking loudly and pompously into brand new top of the range £500 Nokia uttering something along the line of

" All right mate where are you....Im standing in the middle of the road annoying people and talking loudly and pompously into my brand new top of the range £500 Nokia"

 

perhaps with, amid the sounds of exasperated non student traffic also in the road..

 

" Been in the pub for 7 hours, you have a LOT of catching up to do mate.....lightweight..seriously man, LOT of catching up to do..."

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Aww, they've just left their mummies and daddies, Spreading their wings and being 'themselves' for the first time in their little lives.

 

I'm sure their parents are proud :thumbsup:

 

I always find it odd how every new generation think they're the first to behave in a certain way, then all dress the same to prove how different they are,

 

bless em all :)

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To add.

A. Spend 3 years racking-up a student debt of thousands on designer clothes, beer, cocktails and the odd loaf of bread. Then moan like f**k because the state won't help you to fund your lavish student expenditures to which you've costed, a text book and a bic pen. Work in Mcdonalds

 

B. As above but also with parents money. Work in Mcdonalds

 

C. Drop out. Work in Mcdonalds

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