"I smack and I'm proud of it"

[scoop]

No I didn't know any of that banesmabes, that's why I asked. I don't claim to know much about women's history.

I just think there is a huge difference between a man raping or hitting a woman and a parent giving their child a tap on the hand when they've been really naughty. I understand not everyone agrees. Why do people have to see it in such extremes? Of course there are extreme cases (such as those in the prog), and of course I disagree with them but in most cases we are talking occasional, last resort incidents. There is a middle ground and I think parents have a right to that without being judged as bullies or idiots.

 

There are several different issue here- smacking, child abuse and domestic violence and I think it's dangerous to confuse them. Of course child abuse is not acceptable! I don't really want to reply anymore as people are trying to manipulate my views when I've made them clear

 

I don't think there is any reason to believe that these cases were extreme.You can see people in town giving their child a right wallop any day of the week!

[funkymiss]

I would see people giving their kid a right wallop in the street as pretty extreme! You also see parents shouting their head off at them too - that's just as nasty and confusing in my opinion. I was just trying to point out the middle ground. Programmes like this are desgined to create a reaction, it's not a balanced documentary and it's hardly normal life, is it?

[pk014b7161]

well i clipped both my lads & im not bothered what anybody says it worked & kept them in line

[scoop]

I would see people giving their kid a right wallop in the street as pretty extreme! You also see parents shouting their head off at them too - that's just as nasty and confusing in my opinion. I was just trying to point out the middle ground. Programmes like this are desgined to create a reaction, it's not a balanced documentary and it's hardly normal life, is it?

 

I meant extreme as in a selection of people who's behaviour was at the extremeend of the smacking spectrum. So what meant to say was that I dont feel that as far as people who smack go, the parents on the show were not out of the ordinary as you can see people behaving in this way all the time.

So yes, I think for a large number of people who choose to smack, this behaviour is normal.

[fox20thc]

I would see people giving their kid a right wallop in the street as pretty extreme!

 

Actually the statistics from that programme were startling about the number of parents who supported smacking and the number of parents who were unaware of the law surrounding the issue.

 

Personally, and I don't come from a family of 'lets talk about it' people. I was smacked plenty as a child and though I don't fear my parents I recall those times vividly.

 

I made a conscious decision that I wasnt going to hit my children just after the second one was born, the eldest was 2. We discuss smacking, they see other kids get hit regularly and verbally crucified. A neighbour (thankfully now gone) used to play earth mother outside the home but when she got in we could hear the slaps through the walls. Subsequently her son is like a rotweiller gone mad and the first thing he does when he isnt happy is lash out.

 

Im just lucky I guess that my kids understand how lucky they are that I will talk and listen to them. We dont agree all the time, DS#2 stomps off to his room all the time when unhappy with my decisions but thats all he does, 5 minutes later I get an apology.

 

If anyone is of the illusion that this is an extreme view of how parents behave they are sadly mistaken. Ask a teacher, care worker or neighbour, they all know a kid who is on the receiving end of a good hiding far too often and usually as a result of a parent who just doesnt know how to cope not due to the child being out of control.

[funkymiss]

Fox I always love the way you write

 

Surely though if anyone sees or hears a kid getting a beating regularly they should call social services? If a parent clearly isn't coping and the kid is getting hurt because of it, they all deserve some help.

 

Your kids are very lucky that you talk and listen to them, Fox. Bet they'll grow up to be happy people

[fox20thc]

Fox I always love the way you write

 

Surely though if anyone sees or hears a kid getting a beating regularly they should call social services? If a parent clearly isn't coping and the kid is getting hurt because of it, they all deserve some help.

 

Your kids are very lucky that you talk and listen to them, Fox. Bet they'll grow up to be happy people

 

Cheers Funky.. I did actually challenge the mother once, you wouldn't believe what her retort was. A couple of weeks later my youngest (about 2 at the time) was quite poorly and woke up hallucinating (very hot and poorly) saw spiders and was screaming like a banshee.

 

She phoned the police!!! who came and after son freaked out at the sight of policewoman thinking she was also a giant spider they left happy with calpol advice . Neighbour then attempted to slate me in the street the next day telling all and sundry I neglected my kids...

[ukstudent]

havent had chance to read all the replies to this post yet, but just wanted to say that there can sometimes be a fine line between smacking a child and actual child abuse. when a parent is angry with a child, they can easily lose control and a simple tap can turn into something much more serious. it all depends on the child - what they are going to react to. a 'threat' of taking away a toy / tv etc can work in lots of cases so there may not be the need to use physical violence. another thing i will say is that depending on the parent and child, and the severity and frequency of physical disapline - the child may well grow to resent the parent, making the whole relationship and general situation much worse. children learn from watching others behaviour. if they think it is ok for their parent to slap / hit them, then they will think its aceptable to do that to another child in the playground etc. and it teaches them that violence solves problems etc.

[banesmabes]

How on earth do expect someone with dementia to learn a lesson, however you administer it?

 

It's a similar situation though. We wouldn't condone smacking someone with demetia so we shouldn't condone smacking a child.

[banesmabes]

I just think there is a huge difference between a man raping or hitting a woman and a parent giving their child a tap on the hand when they've been really naughty.

 

But we wouldn't 'tap' an adult on the hand if they've been very naughty. And calling it a tap is all well and good, but we all know a 'tap' that doesn't hurt would do nothing to discipline a child, and so is completely pointless. For physical punishment to work it has to be painful - which in turn is cruel.