thegman005 Posted September 14, 2006 Share Posted September 14, 2006 Sorry for the jackanory style story but i need advice................. ive been workin with a woman i get on with really well, ive known her for a year and half and we are really good mates. I fancy her a lot but when i told her this i found out she was getting married. She fancied me back and this made it awkward. 4 months ago she got married and it broke my heart. Im 21 shes 29 shes got a beautiful daughter and ive no question that shes a great mom. What can i do, everywhere i go i see her, i think about her and it drives me mad. I work with her 5 days a week and shes the most beautiful woman ive ever seen. Do i move to one side and let nature take its cause or do i chase her and say lifes too short. Something nearly happened months ago we both backed away at the last minute. We argue like a couple, we fall out like a couple, we have a laff like a couple, we have so much in comon we are so much alike. i even went to her birthday party with my girlfriend and obviously drunk said i loved her too loud and my missus(of then) heard it. Ive had girlfriends during all this and everytime shes been jealous and always said i could do better. I'd give anything for her! Am i chasing a dream or can i actually be with her somehow! Help This daft sod out will you and go easy on me, please hehe!! :help: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cloudybay Posted September 14, 2006 Share Posted September 14, 2006 If you love her, then let her go. If she really loves you, she will come back. I think we have all loved someone unobtainable in our life..............I know I have. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Thunzi Posted September 14, 2006 Share Posted September 14, 2006 I'd say take a step away. If she's married and has a child with the guy (I'm presuming it's his, your post didn't make that bit clear) then you have to give them every opportunity to stay together. From what you said I'd also speculate that you don't really know her that well. You've known her a year and a half and it never came up in that time that she was already attached and engaged? I hope I've not been too forward there, it's easy for me to look into the situation and see the easy way out. But in the circumstances if you do love her then you have to leave it up to her to make the decisions. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
thegman005 Posted September 14, 2006 Author Share Posted September 14, 2006 I'd say take a step away. If she's married and has a child with the guy (I'm presuming it's his, your post didn't make that bit clear) then you have to give them every opportunity to stay together. From what you said I'd also speculate that you don't really know her that well. You've known her a year and a half and it never came up in that time that she was already attached and engaged? I hope I've not been too forward there, it's easy for me to look into the situation and see the easy way out. But in the circumstances if you do love her then you have to leave it up to her to make the decisions. Yeah Sorry Her daughter isnt the fella shes with!(no shes not a t**t) and i did know she was engaged to him she just never talked about it alot! She just never used to mention it much! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
thegman005 Posted September 14, 2006 Author Share Posted September 14, 2006 We talk alot to each other about persoanl stuff e.g family and personal issues Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Thunzi Posted September 14, 2006 Share Posted September 14, 2006 I wouldn't have ever suggested she was a ta*t! It's definitely a tough situation to be in. We've all loved someone we shouldn't and it's always horrible when we do. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jinxster Posted September 14, 2006 Share Posted September 14, 2006 If you love her, then let her go. If she really loves you, she will come back. I think we have all loved someone unobtainable in our life..............I know I have. That sounds very much like an old Chinese proverb to me and very true until this day. Fact is gman, she is married and she must have become so of her own free will, She may fancy your attention but she loves another. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
thegman005 Posted September 14, 2006 Author Share Posted September 14, 2006 You see She kinda of said shes more bothered about security for her daughter and she doesnt want to upset her family rather then be personally happy! I know i can give her wat she deserves but i truely reckon shes settling for the security side of the relationship rather then real true love and passion , like i said it nearly happened! that feeling is still there in her i just feel it! I wouldnt be sayin this if i didn't think it Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
steve_sufc Posted September 14, 2006 Share Posted September 14, 2006 Seriously GMan, forget about it, it's not worth it. Your story sounds pretty much word for word similar to an experience I had, although with me, we took it a step further and had a 6 month relationship. "Your" lady's daughter is the most important thing in her life, and she will do anything to put her happiness and wellbeing first, which involves her security and her family staying together. While her relationship may not be the best one for her, it's the best for her daughter which will always come above any of her needs. Even now, I still look back on my relationship with some regret, because we both loved each other implicitly, and I wanted to provide for and bring up her daughter, but, while it may not have been the best decision for us, it was the best decision for her child. You need to put distance between yourself and her; she won't be changing her mind about this, and it's just going to eat you up - trust me on ths. Hope you take heed of this, as I say I've been in pretty much exactly the same boat, and while it's going to hurt, it's for the best in the long run. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GabbleRatcht Posted September 14, 2006 Share Posted September 14, 2006 If you love her, then let her go. If she really loves you, she will come back. I think we have all loved someone unobtainable in our life..............I know I have. Great advice. I had to do this once and it broke my heart. But it was for the best. We arn't together though, But we know we want to be. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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