Story: 'Night Drive' (A ghost story)

[Mantaspook 14]

Cheers Gypsy Hack, I’ll get a copy of the ‘Dark Wisdom’ magazine to check it out, Judging by the front covers I suspect that they specialise in dark visceral horror and my story may be a little too light for them, but you never know.

 

Also I may need permission from Jabberwocky Elton’s lawyers to use the Pinball Wizard lyrics that are integral to the plot, so that’s another small problem to look into.

 

I’m not ruling out the “Womans own” option either – then if I ever get as popular as J K Rowling and they want to interview me I can say truthfully “You told me to get stuffed!”

[Gypsy Hack 10]

Cheers Gypsy Hack, I’ll get a copy of the ‘Dark Wisdom’ magazine to check it out, Judging by the front covers I suspect that they specialise in dark visceral horror and my story may be a little too light for them, but you never know.

In my opinion, your story is contempory horror, which suits the magazine. They are not into explicit violence, and whilst they do publish Lovecraftian tales, originality is a must. Parts of your story are plenty dark anyway, particularly the account of the gypsy woman.

 

Also I may need permission from Jabberwocky Elton’s lawyers to use the Pinball Wizard lyrics that are integral to the plot, so that’s another small problem to look into.

True, copyright can be a killer for things like that. Could I offer a suggestion? I don't believe the lyrics are 'integral' to the plot, although they do play an important part in the development of the story. But mostly in the sense that the protagonist needs to be listening to music in his car. So, instead of turning on a radio, he puts a tape on, one that may have been handed to him as a 'tip' by his last fare. The tape is of an unknown band, fictional, so you needn't worry about copyright. Write your own lyrics. You could work it into the ending as well, hinting right at the end that the last passenger may have been a part of the night's events all along. Hey, maybe instead of the fare giving him the tape, its his son's band who he's listening to, and his son belts out the final, prophetic lyrics to end the story. How dark is that...

[Mantaspook 14]

WARNING – story spoiler, do not read until you have read “Night Drive”

 

The lyrics are integral when you consider that the faceless entity is a deaf dumb & blind kid, who sure plays a mean pinball with a (silver) car that he pummels into a silver ball of scrap.

 

However, your idea has merit, developing it further lets say the taxi driver finds the tape in the boot of the car at the airport, the tape is his son’s heavy metal band and through flashback we learn that the son committed suicide after being horribly disfigured in a car accident caused by his father, something really gruesome like smashing into the back of a lorry and a caustic chemical pours out to melt the kids face.

 

The final lyrics as the car catapults towards the concrete post:

 

“I’M GONNA GET YOU, I’M GONNA DRAG YOU TO HELL WHERE IT BURNS! IT BURNS! IT BURNS!”

 

Sleep well

[Gypsy Hack 10]

What I meant was, the story would still be a great story without the lyrics. They are neat little touches, and it sucks that you'd have to change them to get round copyright, but it can be done without making a lot of difference to the story as a whole. PS no flashbacks. Story doesn't need them, would only slow it down. The beauty of this story is its simplicity.

 

Sleep like a baby...

[hockeybear 10]

Excellent story Mantaspook, I was right there in the car, as the driver speeded up so did my reading, I think I knew from the start that we were racing towards a crash but there was no way to avoid it, I had to get to that last line, then breathe.

Dave..