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What gives people the right to be so rude and hurtful?


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Just got to let off steam...

 

I have a very rare genetic disease (less than 100 cases in UK) which although I had since birth only developed when I hit late puberty, I've now been living with the illness for just under 20 years. It causes me constant ill health and severe metabolic complications as well as obvious body differences.

 

Over the years I have had alot of verbal abuse, staring and laughing at me from people because of the way I now look. By that I mean people shouting at me on buses, in the street and in shops. Inside it feels humiliating, I just want to crawl under a rock and die, what gives them the right?

 

Yesterday I had one of the most hurtful experiences at the Travel Shop on Cambridge Street with 3 young women obviously and openly talking about me and staring at me. They were standing within about 8ft of me. I turned around and looked at them and they still continued and shaking with anger I loudly said 'would you prefer I wore a TShirt saying I'm ill, would you like to see my scars'. I have never done anything like this before but I was so hurt. My elderly parents who I had taken there to get there bus passes guided me out as for the first time in my life I wanted to hit someone.

 

We see disabled people everyday, thats not my issue. Its those who think its ok to be openly rude and that I have no feelings. I'm not perfect -nobody is - but I'm trying desperately to live my life with an illness.

 

Next time you see someone and think its ok to stare or be abusive to them just consider how you would feel.

 

 

 

***I hope I have worded this without offending anyone***

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Just got to let off steam...

 

I have a very rare genetic disease (less than 100 cases in UK) which although I had since birth only developed when I hit late puberty, I've now been living with the illness for just under 20 years. It causes me constant ill health and severe metabolic complications as well as obvious body differences.

 

Over the years I have had alot of verbal abuse, staring and laughing at me from people because of the way I now look. By that I mean people shouting at me on buses, in the street and in shops. Inside it feels humiliating, I just want to crawl under a rock and die, what gives them the right?

 

Yesterday I had one of the most hurtful experiences at the Travel Shop on Cambridge Street with 3 young women obviously and openly talking about me and staring at me. They were standing within about 8ft of me. I turned around and looked at them and they still continued and shaking with anger I loudly said 'would you prefer I wore a TShirt saying I'm ill, would you like to see my scars'. I have never done anything like this before but I was so hurt. My elderly parents who I had taken there to get there bus passes guided me out as for the first time in my life I wanted to hit someone.

 

We see disabled people everyday, thats not my issue. Its those who think its ok to be openly rude and that I have no feelings. I'm not perfect -nobody is - but I'm trying desperately to live my life with an illness.

 

Next time you see someone and think its ok to stare or be abusive to them just consider how you would feel.

 

 

 

***I hope I have worded this without offending anyone***

 

I'm so sorry you've had this terrible experience. I think when you see someone who looks different it's human nature to to a bit of a double take, but people who behave like this really are not worth getting upset over.

 

Good for you for giving em a gobfull though, stupid cows!

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Some people are vile scum who dont realise how lucky they are to be healthy.

Physically healthy at least, because inside, these people are rotten to the damn core.

I really dont know what to add here, except that these creatures make me feel sick to my gut.

ANYONE who gets some sort of a perverse thrill out of behaving in that way...Im speechless! I really thought the human race had grown out of that crap by now.

Im so sorry that you have to go through this, but remember, always remember, not everyone is like that! Thank god.

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I feel very deeply for you and I'm very sorry to say this is quite a common experience for all types of disabilities.

 

For myself I suffer with a disabling voice loss and am in receipt of all kinds of abuse from organisations with disability policies in place and staff supposedly trained to take an empathetic approach to disability proudly published on their websites and which is nothing but mythical nonsense.

 

One of the best things to have come out of my disability for me was to learn from it in particular to be more assertive, confident and self-assured.

 

I am therefore very glad you turned round to those people in the way you did. Perhaps it will make them think. I also think that perhaps something that you could do for yourself might be to find ways of confronting these people who upset you in a manner that allows you to say what you need to say to such people and so that you feel good about yourself in the process.

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unfortunatly this is the society we live in, i am proud to say that my daughter of 4 has been brought up to understand that there are people who are visually different and she truely believes everyone is beautiful no matter what,

try to take no notice of the ignorant who oviously have a self esteem issue of there own ( why else would these people be feel the need to air thier views about the way other people look)

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I can only sympathise as I too have a genetic disease that affects 30 people in the UK (but only a few are affected to the same extent that I am).

 

Like you, I've had it since birth but it kicked off at puberty. However, I have always looked different it's only the internal complications that have changed.

 

Thankfully I'm able to cover up my disfigurement but as it spans from my back down to my toes on my right leg, people change when they do see it.

If I go swimming, people will often be fine until I step out of the water and although I don't go anymore, I used to get people talking quite openly around me saying: 'how gross is her leg?' and words to that effect.

 

I have even had a teacher say 'oh that leg looks disgusting!' When I built myself up to wear a skirt for a performance at school.

 

There are normal human people and there are ignorant people. People who stare aren't always being nasty - it is human nature to look at things out of the ordinary but being cruel by saying nasty things is because people are being pig ignorant and try to take comfort in the thought that one day, they'll learn what it's like to be on the receiving end. What goes around comes around.

 

Keep your chin up and feel free to pm me if you want.

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I can only sympathise as I too have a genetic disease that affects 30 people in the UK (but only a few are affected to the same extent that I am).

 

Like you, I've had it since birth but it kicked off at puberty. However, I have always looked different it's only the internal complications that have changed.

 

Thankfully I'm able to cover up my disfigurement but as it spans from my back down to my toes on my right leg, people change when they do see it.

If I go swimming, people will often be fine until I step out of the water and although I don't go anymore, I used to get people talking quite openly around me saying: 'how gross is her leg?' and words to that effect.

 

I have even had a teacher say 'oh that leg looks disgusting!' When I built myself up to wear a skirt for a performance at school.

 

There are normal human people and there are ignorant people. People who stare aren't always being nasty - it is human nature to look at things out of the ordinary but being cruel by saying nasty things is because people are being pig ignorant and try to take comfort in the thought that one day, they'll learn what it's like to be on the receiving end. What goes around comes around.

 

Keep your chin up and feel free to pm me if you want.

 

A teacher actually said your leg looked disgusting???

 

The more i read this thread, the more annoyed im getting. My god, some people!

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That is shameful behaviour and you was right to have a go at them for it. Unfortunately, there are some really vicious people out there that will take any opportunity to belittle others regardless of whether the person on the receiving end has a disability or not. Take comfort in the fact that these sad little people are probably unhappy and insecure in themselves hence having to publicly humiliate others to lift their esteem from the gutter.

 

Ignore them (easy said when you haven't been on the receiving end) and don't let them get to you.

 

DD

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