help_plz Posted September 11, 2006 Share Posted September 11, 2006 It may be tricky for someone else to answer but tell me what u think. Well my mind is in a mess right now. I am only 22, been with my girlfriend for 6 and 1/2 years now. We have an house together and 2 dogs. Now these dogs are like our children, they are the world to us both. I do love my girlfriend loads and loads but my mind seems to be wondering else where recently, new ambitions are coming to me as well. I seem to be attracted to more and more women, I can't take my eyes off some although I haven't really done anything as in cheating on her. Next year it looks like I will be off for 8 months on an operational tour with the Army- I have even thought about saving up and just ******* off around the world, seeing new places if we wre to split up after. BUT it all comes down to my Dogs more than anything. And also if I do call it, and I gong to regret it? Because at the end of the day I love her to bits. Any advise? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jennie80 Posted September 11, 2006 Share Posted September 11, 2006 Welcome to the real world Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sugar_Kiss Posted September 11, 2006 Share Posted September 11, 2006 It may be tricky for someone else to answer but tell me what u think. Well my mind is in a mess right now. I am only 22, been with my girlfriend for 6 and 1/2 years now. We have an house together and 2 dogs. Now these dogs are like our children, they are the world to us both. I do love my girlfriend loads and loads but my mind seems to be wondering else where recently, new ambitions are coming to me as well. I seem to be attracted to more and more women, I can't take my eyes off some although I haven't really done anything as in cheating on her. Next year it looks like I will be off for 8 months on an operational tour with the Army- I have even thought about saving up and just ******* off around the world, seeing new places if we wre to split up after. BUT it all comes down to my Dogs more than anything. And also if I do call it, and I gong to regret it? Because at the end of the day I love her to bits. Any advise? poor lass!!! the grass may seem greener, but it isnt half of the time!! if your having thoughts like this, and worrying more about the dogs, than about the girl, then i think that shows you something!! but if your going to go off galavanting around the world, then you wont be able to see/keep your dogs!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted September 11, 2006 Share Posted September 11, 2006 ...BUT it all comes down to my Dogs more than anything. ... More than your girlfriend? You've been with her since you were 15 or 16, you're finding other women attractive and you long to see the world (presumably without her?). You're only young; far too young to settle down, in my opinion, particularly as you're clearly not happy in your current situation. Listen to yourself, what you're really thinking, and act accordingly. You'll regret it later if you don't, and you run the risk of feeling bitter and resentful towards her too. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
joeyannie Posted September 11, 2006 Share Posted September 11, 2006 you have been together since you were very young, and people do change as they grow up. I know that I am very different now than i was at 18 so maybe you are just growing apart as you get older and want different things from your life? You should try and work out your feelings for your girlfriend regardless of the dogs, and maybe talk to her about what you are going through. At the end of the day a relationship that isnt working cant and shouldnt be kept together by pets...that wouldnt be fair on either of you. hope you sort things out for the best for all concerned. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SHsheff Posted September 11, 2006 Share Posted September 11, 2006 I do love my girlfriend loads and loads but my mind seems to be wondering else where recently, new ambitions are coming to me as well.....BUT it all comes down to my Dogs more than anything. And also if I do call it, and I gong to regret it? Because at the end of the day I love her to bits. Uff! I feel for you. However, if you and she have lasted this long, you obviously have a very strong bond. IMO it's perfectly understandable to feel like you do - but maybe she does too! (even if she hasn't said so - you haven't shared your feelings with her, so maybe she's kept quiet too.) Is it possible for the two of you to start a new life somewhere, together? Somewhere that you'd both find exciting? You indicate that you're in the Army now. Do you go away a lot now? Is there anywhere that you could relocate to where she could go too, to work herself, and have a new life too? Or, do you think you're just growing apart? You say that you still love her to bits - it seems a shame to lose that. As regards the dogs, well, they're part of your family too, as you clearly see. It's all too easy to think that the grass is more exciting on the other side, but, as you seem to realise, the flip-side of that is that you lose the people/things (actually, I'd be inclined to include your dogs in the 'people' category - 'things', you can do without) that you care for. Try talking to her to see if between you both you can work out a way forward for you and yours. You might even find that you decide, mutually and sadly, to go your separate ways. At least that way, because you're still friends, you'd keep in contact with her and the dogs..... Good luck! PS Be EXTRA careful that you don't start a baby at this time!!!!!!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
help_plz Posted September 11, 2006 Author Share Posted September 11, 2006 I think I have worded the first post pretty bad. Its not all about my dogs, but they are a big factor. Basically I love my girlfriend to bits, I really do but there is something missing now. now obviously I have thought about calling it a day, but then I have to think about things after that. My dogs, see them as children. How.what would we do? Also will it be the right decision I make? My mind is really F$cked up at the minute. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
midvixen Posted September 11, 2006 Share Posted September 11, 2006 Sounds to me like you are getting itchy feet! This is bound to happen as you've been together since you were 16. You are probably thinking you haven't had a chance to live and you haven't known other girlfriends so you wonder if you are missing out on something. I know how hard it must be especially as you're in the Army and detachments can be a nightmare. The separation and loneliness make it a temptation for people, but if like you say you really love this girl then you must try and figure out whether you are just wondering what you've missed out on or if you genuinely want to call it quits. From the sounds of it, I think you are just scared of the fact that you've been together so long. You wonder if there are better things out there, or if you really want to be in a couple. I think you have been really good in not cheating on your girlfriend. There is nothing wrong with window shopping! My hubby and I have been married for 16 years and together for 19. The first few years were hard as he was in the RAF and yes, it was very difficult to deal with the separation and the fact we didn't see each other regularly, but you learn to deal with it. The old saying "absence makes the heart grow fonder" really is true as when we saw each other again, it was fantastic! With regards the dogs, I'm afraid I can't give any advice. As you said, you think of them as your kids so if you do part the chances of them being used in a battle would be quite high, unlesss you part on good terms, which is not easy! Good luck with everything and take care on detachment!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
help_plz Posted September 11, 2006 Author Share Posted September 11, 2006 It is the Territorial Army - not full time although i will be doing a tour next year. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SHsheff Posted September 11, 2006 Share Posted September 11, 2006 How.what would we do? Also will it be the right decision I make? My mind is really F$cked up at the minute. Ok then (assuming you've read the posts that have been written for you).... ..the psychotherapy approach (from an amateur point of view) would be: take some time, on your own, and think this through quietly. Somewhere inside you, you KNOW the answer that is right for you. Look inside yourself and you know the answer. It's the one that bubbles up every time you think about the situation. It's the silent voice (!) that is screaming inside you, when the 'rational' voice is blabbing on about how much you love them all. You know what you want to do, don't you? Maybe what's freaking you now is the horribleness of telling your g/f, and the emptiness of missing your dogs. However, it's better to make your decision now and make it happen, rather than be trapped in a relationship that you don't want to be in. That's not fair (or honest) to anyone. Or, maybe, my response has made you shout, 'Noooooo!!!!! I REALLY want to stay with her! Just wish she'd be like she was a year ago!' Or whatever. The point is, you do know the answer. Realise it, and act upon it with dignity, decency and kindness. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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