simondjuk Posted September 7, 2006 Share Posted September 7, 2006 My mate is getting married next Saturday and so far he hasnt done a speech. Anyone got any good funny lines he could use. Ive told him two so far... "this wedding is so emotional, even the cake is in tiers" "i said to my new wife the other day 'thats the third time ive had to replace the clutch on the car' she replied 'dont look at me, I never use it'" Come on people, I know you have a great sense of humour. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hayley1 Posted September 7, 2006 Share Posted September 7, 2006 in my brother's speech, he said "marriage is an institution...who the hell wants to live in an institution!" I think it's from one of the marx bros (don't quote me on that) Our best man had some 'telegrams' from certain ladies...Jordan was one, also one from george michael I think ...saying how much they enjoyed the stag do quite saucy, but u gotta make sure the bride will see the funny side or they may not get to the bridal suite...PMP best luck! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hopman Posted September 7, 2006 Share Posted September 7, 2006 "I was going to say a few words jotted down on the back of an old envelope, but as it's a special occasion... ...I've used a new one." You could say that when you went along to book the ceremony/wedding cake/car etc, there was someone in the queue ahead of you. They'd been married several times before and they asked: "Nervous? First time?" - "No, I've been nervous before." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ginner Posted September 7, 2006 Share Posted September 7, 2006 ...Anyone got any good funny lines he could use... Tell him to do what every other Best Man does these days... Take a look here. Saved me a few sleepless nights. Mind, he still has to deliver it.... I'd recommend he get himslef a few packets of this Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AtticusFinch Posted September 8, 2006 Share Posted September 8, 2006 "Apparently there's a rumour going round that I'm taking [bride's name] on honeymoon to Florida. I'd just like to state that this is a misunderstanding though. What I actually say was that I'm going to tamper with her" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mick3330 Posted September 8, 2006 Share Posted September 8, 2006 I knew I had to get plenty of sleep in preperation for the big day. Infact, I slept like a baby. Peed myself 4 times, Sh#t myself twice and woke once screaming for my mum. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
21steve Posted September 8, 2006 Share Posted September 8, 2006 he could do the old; "she is beauty, funny, clever, sorry "her name" what does that say I cant read your writing!" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hopman Posted September 8, 2006 Share Posted September 8, 2006 "I can't wait to get Esmerelda's knickers off. I don't know why I ever put them on." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sultana Posted September 8, 2006 Share Posted September 8, 2006 Some very funny suggestions already, if you have guests who have travelled a fair distance, you could say "Its amazing how far some people will go for a free meal", but only if you know your guests have a sense of humour. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
algy Posted September 8, 2006 Share Posted September 8, 2006 More best man than groom, but the line I liked best was "... and I hope you will be as happy together as my wife thought we were going to be..." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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