mikomi Posted September 1, 2006 Share Posted September 1, 2006 The boy who lives under his bed. Here is my submission for September '06 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tess667 Posted September 1, 2006 Share Posted September 1, 2006 Very Good - is there another part to come? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
brisbane Posted September 1, 2006 Share Posted September 1, 2006 Hi Mikomi, That was an easy read and kept you interested wanting to know more about what was under the bed. I pictured Rodger stomping up the stairs counting them with a little grimace on his face. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mikomi Posted September 1, 2006 Author Share Posted September 1, 2006 Very Good - is there another part to come? Yes ,if i get the time i will carry it on . Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tess667 Posted September 1, 2006 Share Posted September 1, 2006 Yes ,if i get the time i will carry it on . Great, I look forward to reading it Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gypsy Hack Posted September 1, 2006 Share Posted September 1, 2006 Very interesting. I liked the ideas behind it, Rodger is quite a curious character and hopefully we'll hear more from him. Main criticism is some of the punctuation needs working on. It can be off-putting sometimes. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mikomi Posted September 1, 2006 Author Share Posted September 1, 2006 Very interesting. I liked the ideas behind it, Rodger is quite a curious character and hopefully we'll hear more from him. Main criticism is some of the punctuation needs working on. It can be off-putting sometimes. Yes i know my grammar is really crap Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
shoeshine Posted September 1, 2006 Share Posted September 1, 2006 Very interesting. I liked the ideas behind it, Rodger is quite a curious character and hopefully we'll hear more from him. Main criticism is some of the punctuation needs working on. It can be off-putting sometimes. We look for ideas, structure and imagination on this Group, Gypsy Hack. The punctuation is not a strong issue at these stages, important as they ultimately may be to the reader. For many would-be authors they are issues which probably come later in the potential publishing process. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gypsy Hack Posted September 2, 2006 Share Posted September 2, 2006 Yes i know my grammar is really crap I wouldn't go that far. It's just something that can be worked on, that's all. Everyone has different tools which could do with sharpening. The most important thing at this stage, like shoeshine said, is you have a good imagination and the beginnings of a really good story. Proofreaders can help iron out all that stuff anyway. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
caz_ol Posted September 2, 2006 Share Posted September 2, 2006 I loked the story, it had a nice rhythm to it and the characters were well established within the piece. It reminds me of the 'goosebumps' series of childrens horror books I used to read in primary school! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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