Story: 'The Boy Who Lives under His bed.'

[mikomi 10]

The boy who lives under his bed.

 

Here is my submission for September '06

[tess667 10]

Very Good - is there another part to come?

[brisbane 10]

Hi Mikomi,

That was an easy read and kept you interested wanting to know more about what was under the bed. I pictured Rodger stomping up the stairs counting them with a little grimace on his face.

 

[mikomi 10]

Very Good - is there another part to come?

 

Yes ,if i get the time i will carry it on .

[tess667 10]

Yes ,if i get the time i will carry it on .

 

Great, I look forward to reading it

[Gypsy Hack 10]

Very interesting. I liked the ideas behind it, Rodger is quite a curious character and hopefully we'll hear more from him. Main criticism is some of the punctuation needs working on. It can be off-putting sometimes.

[mikomi 10]

Very interesting. I liked the ideas behind it, Rodger is quite a curious character and hopefully we'll hear more from him. Main criticism is some of the punctuation needs working on. It can be off-putting sometimes.

 

Yes i know my grammar is really crap

[shoeshine 10]

Very interesting. I liked the ideas behind it, Rodger is quite a curious character and hopefully we'll hear more from him. Main criticism is some of the punctuation needs working on. It can be off-putting sometimes.

 

We look for ideas, structure and imagination on this Group, Gypsy Hack. The punctuation is not a strong issue at these stages, important as they ultimately may be to the reader.

 

For many would-be authors they are issues which probably come later in the potential publishing process.

[Gypsy Hack 10]

Yes i know my grammar is really crap

 

I wouldn't go that far. It's just something that can be worked on, that's all. Everyone has different tools which could do with sharpening. The most important thing at this stage, like shoeshine said, is you have a good imagination and the beginnings of a really good story.

 

Proofreaders can help iron out all that stuff anyway.

[caz_ol 10]

I loked the story, it had a nice rhythm to it and the characters were well established within the piece.

 

It reminds me of the 'goosebumps' series of childrens horror books I used to read in primary school!

[shoeshine 10]

Another eerie concept from you mikomi.......and ripe for commercial development.

 

Why is it you always leave us wanting more?

[pattricia 575]

We look for ideas, structure and imagination on this Group, Gypsy Hack. The punctuation is not a strong issue at these stages, important as they ultimately may be to the reader.

 

For many would-be authors they are issues which probably come later in the potential publishing process.

I slightly disagree here Shoeshine,its not criticism, but comment. I think that is what this writers Group is all about.Im sure the story writer doesnt mind in the least.I would welcome any grammar mistakes I make commented on,so I can correct them.