What do people think?

[SHANE-D-PAIN 10]

I'd like a few tips on what to change with my writings. What could I do to make them better. Is there anything I focus too much or too little upon?

http://www.ShaneRounce.com

[mikomi 10]

I'd like a few tips on what to change with my writings. What could I do to make them better. Is there anything I focus too much or too little upon?

http://www.ShaneRounce.com

 

 

Sorry it totaly lost me .

[shoeshine 10]

What exactly are you wanting to achieve?

 

Why do you feel the Blog lacks the punch you are seeking?

 

What sort of reader are you targeting?

[Jabberwocky 46]

You need more pics and more humour.

Thats what id go for.

 

This is one of the old blogs of mine, I dont use it now but it was very popular when it was alive.

 

http://dopplereffect.blog.co.uk/

[caz_ol 10]

Well, if its targeting the free running culture, you might want to jazz up your html/CSS a little bit. The content is good, although from a narrative point of veiw, you don't actually explain what happened with the police, and it ends slightly abruptly. Perhaps some video footage at the top would be good to quickly introduce the reader as to the purpose of the blog?

 

All in all I'd just say it could do with a 'tidy & a lick of paint'. At the end of the day, it depends on how much time you want to invest into it!!

 

Overall a nice piece though..you can tell parkour (corect spelling?!!?) is a passion of yours!

[SHANE-D-PAIN 10]

Well, if its targeting the free running culture, you might want to jazz up your html/CSS a little bit. The content is good, although from a narrative point of veiw, you don't actually explain what happened with the police, and it ends slightly abruptly. Perhaps some video footage at the top would be good to quickly introduce the reader as to the purpose of the blog?

 

All in all I'd just say it could do with a 'tidy & a lick of paint'. At the end of the day, it depends on how much time you want to invest into it!!

 

Overall a nice piece though..you can tell parkour (corect spelling?!!?) is a passion of yours!

It's not aimed at anyone, it's just supposed to be somewhere for me to write things I think of.

 

I want to keep it looking simple but might slowly change it over time.

 

I guess what i really want to know is what keeps you hooked?

[SHANE-D-PAIN 10]

And nice piece? I have written dozens of huge blog posts. :/

[scribe 10]

Is this some sort of self promo .

[shoeshine 10]

Could well be scribe .........I will give the Op'er the benefit of the doubt for a short while though.......

[SHANE-D-PAIN 10]

Is this some sort of self promo .

No, I seriously want to know what people think since people just seem to read my posts but never leave coments.

[mikomi 10]

I looked at your site again ,and I'm still intrigued as to what your training for.

 

It does read as some sort of self promo , perhaps it's just the way it presents itself to others . This month's topic is writing a children's story so why not give it a go ,If your stuck for ideas your day out should give you some inspiration .Your pics are very good by the way.

[caz_ol 10]

And nice piece? I have written dozens of huge blog posts. :/

 

Saying it was a nice piece was meant to be a compliment. I don't mean in terms of the fact that is a blog, I'm referring to the content, it has a strong narrative style, rather than just documenting the day, so as a peice of writing, yes it is nicely writtern...

 

...And to be truthful, it doesn't bother me how many you've writtern, what matters to me is if its read worthy. Also if it is meant to be for everyone, you may want some sort of introducer paragraph. You do jump straight into the writing with two feet, which for anyone who doesn't understand what parkour is, might be a little off putting.

 

Just my opinion & by all means ignore it-you asked! :-)