Why can't parents take control of their children?

[minnime 10]

thank the lord someone who understands kids and people ,it's so nice to hear from a real person that is non-judgemental

THANK YOU NICE TO READ YOUR THREAD:thumbsup:

yes and i will second that cheers hun:thumbsup:

[dynamicdebz 10]

I'm sorry if I offend anyone but the majority is down to the parents, me included. I had 2 boys at aged 17 then 19. I am not going to glorify this & I admit I was far too young & irrisponsible to have children. I thought I knew best & let them play out till all hours, they were very cheeky to me & to cut a long story short I couldn't control them. I suppose it didn't help that their father was a no hoper & allowed the boys to talk to me like sh**.

Anyway I did eventually escape the life I had & made a decision to become a pillar of community & try to turn my boys lives around. For my eldest it was too late, he is 21 & I love him to bits but following in the same footsteps as his dad. I know I am just as much to blame & can never forgive myself & I do all I can to help him climb out of any bother he gets into. My 19 year old is a lovely hard working young man.

My ex died some years ago after we split up. I now have an 8 year old little girl to my new partner. She has been taught right from wrong from the word go. I was 31 when I had her, older & wiser. She never lies, never does anything I say she isn't allowed to do & never needs to get punished because she has been taught from birth. I look back & can't believe the things I allowed my boys to do that I wouldn't even dream of letting my daughter do & its nothing to do with her being a girl.

So I am sorry no-one can convince me otherwise that the parents aren't to blame because I myself am to blame for anything my elder son did wrong. While no-one on here knows him, I would still like to apologise for any harm my son may have done to anyone.

My only bit of hope is that he is now trying to change his life just like I did all them years before. His girlfriend is expecting, he is working & wants to stop smoking the funny fags that they all smoke nowadays.

[purdyamos 10]

Well, we have a fabulous example of success in our own Fox! Not just her, but a whole team of parents from an estate with a terrible reputation. I worked at Middlewood Festival and met these amazing people, and saw just how much they had achieved. The new community centre, nursery, the sports courts and play equipment, were all testiment to their determination, can-do attitude, refusal to blame 'society' and taking positive responsibility. Not to mention the festival they organised for their community. I was very glad to witness such a good-news outcome and I admired them immensely. They prove it can be done, but the starting point is the attitude of the parents.

 

I'm sure Fox would be delighted to advise on how to make it happen elsewhere, but the vibes coming from some of the posters isn't promising.

[fox20thc 10]

Why Purdyamos PR guru award coming up.

 

But yes should anyone want any advice on working from the ground up and being inclusive without mollycoddling and giving boundaries which breed a success. Ask away.

[SHsheff 10]

Just came across this little gem.:

my son tags with his mates and i wondered if there was somewhere where they could go as his brill just in wrong places

http://www.sheffieldforum.co.uk/showthread.php?p=1422170&highlight=son#post1422170

 

So, minnime, when you said on THIS thread...:

 

people on here should watch what they are sayin as the kids parents could be reading this and wont be too happy:)

 

.....you were talking about yourself then? You admit your son is a tagger and describe him as 'brill' (just in the 'wrong places'), then get all defensive when other people complain about his behaviour. A fine example you set to the little darling/lowlife (depending on whether you gave birth to him, or have to live in the same area as him). No wonder the boy is out of control and running around the neighbourhood with a spray can.

[Cyclone 10]

spot on dynamicdebz.

If you find the thread about people having children at a young age, there will be a lot of the same people who are arguing here that society is to blame, also arguing that having children whilst still a teenager is somehow a good idea. At that age the parent is barely an adult themselves, most (not all) people in their teens are in no way prepared to become a parent.

[fox20thc 10]

I have being wooly liberal parent that I am. Just rewarded my going on 12 year old with his longed for flat top hair cut and bleached look.

 

Shocking as it may be to assume that my son is a thug (being of the winn variety) he is an upstanding citizen and his reward was for work over the last month doing various jobs including litterpicking a whole park on Saturday.

 

Must say though his hair is "whosthemanna" he's chuffed to bits.

[saxon51 10]

SAXON51 do you go mad about everything else tax payer pay for,

cos about time they put more money in to kids, should i say what little they do ,cos they like giving it to other things and people which i will not go in to

No! Only when we are expected to pay for the failings of other parents. About 90% or more of the kids in Sheffield aren't so bored that they have a need to wreck the place, and that's all down to their parents. So why should those parents chip in to entertain the kids whose parents have lost the plot?

 

Here's an idea. Hows about if the benefits officials hang around outside the chippy at tea time and collect a couple of quid from all those parents whose kids are known to be habitual vandals. This money could then be put in a fund for these poor unfortunate kids so they can have somewhere of their own to wreck. You never know, a miracle might happen. The parents may even decide to call in every now and then to see how their kids are getting on, or even get involved.

 

I'd go for that one. It means of course that my kids wouldn't be allowed to use it because I hadn't chipped in, but what the heck, I will just have to carry on keeping my kids entertained myself.

[valley mob 10]

It's cool Valley;) I am one of those "little scrotes", or at least I was 30 years ago! I was the sort of child I would not like to have to look after!

 

I was in a gang doing all sort of things kids do in gangs, getting into trouble and causing havock.

 

I was lucky enough to have found a way out that's all.

 

I trained as a nurse, moved out of the area, moved on, but I will never forget those I left behind, and their kids!

 

thank you shirleyjay i work with kids that are from all kinds of backgrounds some of them really pull on your heart strings wish i could take them all home to give them the tlc they need but i can't.

i love it when kids turn out great like you have

just wish more people whould take the time to understand what these kids are up against these days i see it all the time and it is not nice at all:love:

[dynamicdebz 10]

Surely when we all become an age where we are older & wiser we know perhaps we were to blame after all & those on the defensive in so many years to come maybe admitting it like me.

I would also like to add from the life I use to lead(& some of you can only imagine) I am now a manager, responsible for employees, money & the running of a site. I have a law degree & have an IQ of 127. What I am trying to say is we can all change our life around. I have been one of those that new every scam to get more money from the DSS (or whatever they are called now), blamed everyone else for my boys bad behaviour & thought police were the bad guys.

If I an do it anyone an.

[Jabberwocky 46]

What ARE kids up against today thats different than it was in the 70s?

There were drugs then too, and temptation, and boredom and ...whats so different about today?

[helenbean 10]

yes our area has a home that drug dealers live in[ the police have busted them loads of times one of the family is a pimp and ther are familys that live within this area including me. upperthorpeQUOTE=original]here we go again gleadless and youths !!!! does other areas not have this kind of behavoir ? or is it just our estate that full of whinging fools