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Question for parents who get maintenance from ex's

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This is the least you can do,there is no such thing as a free lunch.

 

What are you talking about? Children are (or should be) a shared responsibility - Dawny1 is only suggesting that their father takes a proper share. As the amount of time that he has his children has reduced, and as children become more expensive to clothe etc as they get older, then of course he should increase his financial support to his children!

 

I think Dawny1 is right not to give the 2 weeks money back, perhaps its also a good time to point out how the balance of care has shifted - so an increase in maintenance for his children would be timely?

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This is the least you can do,there is no such thing as a free lunch.

 

Don't feed the troll!

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My ponit is simple,joint access,no extra money.women think they have a god given right to it.

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My ponit is simple,joint access,no extra money.women think they have a god given right to it.

 

In this instance, the money is not for the woman, it's for the children that the man was happy enough to produce at the time. Children are the responsibility of both partners, and if there isn't shared care then the absent partner should contribute to their needs (whether it happens to be the mother or the father).

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My ponit is simple,joint access,no extra money.women think they have a god given right to it.

The father does not use his joint access that's his choice, when i was divorced i know that the maintainance payments included a small payment to the mother of the children also, (not that i ever got any maintainance what so ever and bore the brunt of it alone.... i suppose that's ok though?) .

Tell me this why is it so wrong for a woman to stay home and care for her children? they already lost one parent do they have to lose the other one also to full time work? who do we want to bring up our precious children... a mother who loves them and will do her very best for them, or a paid worker in a creche or nursery? should we so easily pass on our responsibilities? children are precious and single parents struggle very hard to make the best of a bad job.

Climb down from your perch up in cloud cuckoo land and look a bit more deeply at reality.

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The father does not use his joint access that's his choice,

 

...and what happened to the mother's choice may I ask? If two people decide to have children then it's a joint responsibility, both financially and in terms of spending time with them as they grow up.

 

Anyway, back to the point in question...

 

I think that 6 years is a long time for the maintenance payments to just stay the same. There's inflation to account for, plus as the kids get older, their needs change and they inevitably become more expensive to clothe, feed and look after.

 

Perhaps it's worth suggesting to your ex that now is a good time for you both to sit down and have a chat about their ongoing maintenance payments and childcare? He might increase the payments slightly or agree to pay half for large one-off costs like passports etc.

 

I think it's a bit rude of him to just cut down on the time he spends with them without even discussing it with you and just assuming that you'll be okay with it! Perhaps while you're at it you should revise that agreement as well. He probably has less free time if he's got a new family but he must be able to work out a compromise surely? Remember that you're entitled to have time for a new life as well!

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...and what happened to the mother's choice may I ask?

Would have thought it was obvious.... she doesn't get one really does she :mad:

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My ponit is simple,joint access,no extra money.women think they have a god given right to it.

 

If my ex had joint access and had the kids equally then fair enough I wouldn't expect more money - but he has them 4 days a month as I have already said when we first split it had them 14 days a month. This was his choice as I have never and would never stop him seeing his kids as and when he wishes.

 

I don't expect him to pay for absolutely everything as he has a new family with 2 step kids (bet their maintenace goes up though!) But I do expect a fair amount.

 

Thank goodness I am with a man who doesn't mind contributing both emotionally and financially towards children that aren't his, I am very lucky in that sense.

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Dawny1, I like to ask a couple of questions if I may to get a better idea of the position you are in.

 

Do you know if your ex is currently supporting his step kids?

Does your ex, partner get any financial help from her ex toward their kids?

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I notice nobody is arguing the corner of the kids in this debate :rolleyes:

(and Dawny, that's not aimed at you at all, it's aimed at the people who are trying to take sides off the back of your troubles ;) )

 

Nobody has questioned the cut-down time he has his kids from an emotional point of view....

Nobody has mentioned how the kids miss out by having what would be surplus income spent on necessity

Nobody has asked how Dawny's kids feel about their dad spending so much time with somebody else's kids

 

:shakes: :shakes: :shakes:

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I feel you all need to get jobs and stop this nonsens,the good lord rewards them who work for a living.

 

From the cannon pub thread:

I feel these people are our brothers and sisters,surely in a christian society we should show a degree of tolerance and understanding.

:D

 

*Burns Bible* :twisted:

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