Mr Bloke 1,445 #13 Posted April 21, 2022 2 hours ago, Tipstaff said: I think Mr Bloke, like me, is related t Victor Meldrew. 😂👍 Hmmm... You know the old saying... "Many a true word is spoken in jest"? Well, there's definitely some truth behind it... ... my internet connection and phone line has just been down again for 7 minutes (11:35am to 11:42am)!!! So, not wishing to disappoint, I'll just add... ... I DON'T BELIEVE IT! 2 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites Share this content via...
Ridgewalk 101 #14 Posted April 21, 2022 19 hours ago, Mr Bloke said: Hello everyone... I'm back! If you're a bit of a nosey type and have been wondering why I've not been on the forum for the last few days, then this is the thread for you! But if, as I suspect, you're one of the vast majority who couldn't care less and had no idea that I'd not been around for a bit anyway, then by clicking on the following spoiler you will be provided with probably far more information than you were ever interested in knowing... Reveal spoiler ... I've had phone-line problems over Easter and have been cut-off from performing the daily bits and bobs over the interwebs that we all now take for granted. Now that we've got that bit sorted, it's probably best if those people who clicked the spoiler, together with those of you who have the attention span of the proverbial goldfish, are now advised to leave the thread and go and find something a little more stimulating to satisfy your interests. Thanks for making a superficial effort anyway! For the rest of you with nothing better to do, it's time to put on your best reading specs and get comfy because this is going to be a long one. Reason for posting this thread Have you ever wondered what it would be like if some of the things you may now be taking for granted were suddenly taken away from you? I'm not talking about the really big things (like losing someone who was very close to you), but the really mundane things... like for example, the loss of a home telephone line. How would you cope? Do you have a back-up plan? The reason I decided to post this is as a reminder to anyone who like myself, may have got themselves into a bit of a rut over the years and probably don't realise that they're taking for granted many of the things that they may depend on - the sort of things that are always there and you may use day after day, without a second thought. It's not until those things stop working or are no longer available that you realise how really important it is to have a back-up plan. But if your car breaks down, or your freezer decides it's finally had enough of single-handedly trying to solve the global warming problem, then you just go out and (funds permitting) get it fixed or buy another one - don't you? OK, so I suppose it sounds a bit over-dramatic in my case - it's only a telephone line not working - and thankfully it wasn't needed for any 'emergencies'. But what I imagined as being a simple job (to fix a phone line) has turned out to be a bit more involved. If you're still following, here we go then... A bit of background info I've had home broadband with the Post Office for probably over 10 years - no problems at all in that time - not as much as as serious outage for more than a few minutes. Absolutely exceptional service! Then I was offered an 18 month contract for £18/month (was previously £30/month) so naturally I snatched their hand off. All was well until a couple of months ago when all Post Office broadband accounts were transferred to another company (ex Post Office customers will know who I mean - everyone else will have to guess at which well-known high-street petrochemical company it is). Line outages became a regular occurrence, and the line speed was rubbish by comparison to what the Post Office had provided. So, I'd already decided to change broadband provider a few months before the end of the contract, but hadn't actually got around to doing anything about it yet. Now, it may also surprise some of you, but the creator of such YouTube technological masterpieces as "Mr Bloke's 12 Forum Days Of Christmas" and of course "We Didn't Kill The Forum", is a bit of a techie dinosaur, and has never actually owned a mobile phone. I've never had the need for one because if anyone wants me they can phone me at home - right? Well they could for the last 20-odd years anyway! It had crossed my mind on many occasions that it was about time I dragged myself into the 21st century by finally taking the plunge and getting a mobile phone (shock! horror!). It probably wouldn't get much use, but it would at least be worth having one as an 'insurance policy' in case of any emergency breakdowns in my now (very) ageing mode of transport. The last time I broke down was a few years ago before Covid, and a very helpful gentleman who happened to be passing let me use his mobile to phone the breakdown services - I'm not sure how many people would be so helpful post Covid. Anyhow, back to the story... DAY 1: Tuesday before Easter At 11:00am, right in the middle of my morning YouTube session, the interwebs went down again. Being a particularly patient sort who was by now getting used to these drop-outs, I waited for it to return... and waited... and waited. This was taking longer than usual, so I finally decided to give them a ring to see what the problem was. And that's when I found the phone line was completely dead - no calls and no interwebs connection! I also realised that despite paying my TV licence diligently, I no longer had a working TV set, relying on my interwebs connection to provide access to the few TV programmes that I do still watch. So I spent the rest of the day formulating a plan of action while listening to good old Radio Sheffield to relieve the monotony of life without the interwebs (I've not listened to it for a few years but at least that was still there when I needed it!) Without a working phone I obviously couldn't contact the service provider. Hmmm... Should I nip next door and explain my predicament to my newly installed neighbours in the hope of them letting me use their phone? Or should I wait until tomorrow, finally get myself a mobile phone (this could be the 'push' I needed to make the 'jump') and then use it to contact my service provider - and my new neighbours wouldn't be any the wiser that they'd moved into a house next door to Fred Flintstone? I decided to wait! DAY 2: Wednesday before Easter So, tomorrow came, and after checking that the phone line was still dead by removing the front faceplate of the telephone socket with a cross-headed screwdriver and plugging my phone directly into the 'test' socket, as recommended by 'The Phone Book 2014/15' (whatever happened to them?), it was confirmed that it was indeed the phone-line that was at fault! Right, time to get off to Currys? (aka Carphone Warehouse?) and bag myself a bit of technological wizardry! This was going to be a bit daunting. How many people have never had a mobile phone? This could turn out to be a bit of an embarrassing experience. That "Not The Nine O'Clock News" TV sketch of Griff Rhys Jones, Mel Smith and Rowan Atkinson in the Hi-Fi shop immediately sprang to mind. For those of you who've no idea what I'm going on about... here's a reminder. I prepared myself for ridicule! Having wandered around the shop for a few nervous minutes, I finally worked up courage to approach one of the assistants. I decided to come clean and explain that I was a complete dumbo with regards to mobile phones. To be fair, the assistant was very welcoming, although looking back, I think he was enjoying my story far too much and for far too long before he passed me onto his accomplice - at which point I had to repeat my predicament again. Well, at least this would prove to be less embarrassing explaining my communication habits to two complete strangers who (in all probability) I would never see again, than to some relative strangers/neighbours who (for all I know) I may be living next door to for the rest of my life! But it wasn't too long before I realised that this second guy was the business... the real deal! What he didn't know about mobile phones probably wasn't worth knowing! (And his name was definitely NOT Ken!) Anyway, to cut a long story short(ish)... he found the right phone/deal for me, installed the SIM card(?), and even took pity on me and gave me a 'free' memory card (so I could save all my precious photos?) At this point I could have walked away happy - but by now I'd so much confidence in this guy knowing his stuff that I decided to also get my home broadband supplier changed at the same time. Yep, I'd have to stand the cost for terminating the existing contract a couple of months early, but that was something I was prepared to do if it meant no more hassle with connection drop-outs! So, all sorted, new mobile phone and new home broadband supplier! Definitely NOT Ken also went to the trouble of showing me his working hours over Easter, just in case I had any problems and needed to pop back to see him! This guy was magnificent! As I was leaving, definitely NOT Ken, advised me that it might take a couple of days for my new phone to be 'activated', and I should spend the time getting to know my new bit of tech! I left the store with a smile on my face despite having just signed up to 2 year contracts for both mobile and home broadband! And with definitely NOT Ken's working hours securely saved to memory, I left for home confident that he would be there to help should I need him. DAY 3: Thursday before Easter I spent most of Thursday between doing a bit of weeding (it was a nice day) and pacing up and down doing the expectant father thing, anxiously waiting for any little indication that my new acquisition was in the process of springing into life. Nothing! But it had only been a day, and definitely NOT Ken warned me that it could be a couple of days! And it was Easter, so I decided to wait patiently and give it until Easter Monday (which I remembered was the first day back at work for definitely NOT Ken after the holidays). DAY 4: Good Friday I must admit that I was half-expecting an Easter miracle. Maybe my dead phone line would come back to life, or at the very least, there would be a murmur of hope from my technological brick? But nothing to report... other than a bit more weeding done and a bit more pacing up and down! I was also beginning to realise that I was quickly becoming a regular fan of the Radio Sheffield quizzes(?) DAY 5: Easter Saturday Much like Good Friday... no news is good news... right? It was now getting onto 4 days that my home broadband had been down and I'd still not been able to report the fault! Maybe I should have introduced myself to my new neighbours as Mr Flintstone after all? DAY 6: Easter Sunday Having given up on the idea of an Easter miracle happening, I resigned myself to having to make another visit to see definitely NOT Ken at the mothership on Easter Monday (having also been reliably informed by him that limited trading hours apply). I was becoming increasingly aware of how we depend on things without even realising it. Then it happened! My little droid was trying to communicate with me! First a system update(?)... and then a notification(?)... that I needed to access Wi-Fi to complete the activation process(???). A feeling of sudden excitement and relief soon turned to frustration. This was a problem that I'd not anticipated... and definitely NOT Ken would have appeared to have overlooked (but more likely something I'd not fully taken onboard during my in-store lecture session). How to access a Wi-Fi connection when my home broadband had not been working for the last few days? Hmmm... No problem... a bit of jiggling (you learn a lot when things don't immediately work as they're supposed to)... and a connection to BTWi-Fi was achieved (which although was a very poor signal, appeared to be the only one where I didn't need to enter a password). Now although this seemed to be doing 'something', it's not clear to the untrained eye exactly what this had achieved... and the line kept dropping out! (something I was quickly becoming an expert in detecting) The rest of the day was spent trying to get a connection to encourage my little dormant droid to do its thing. Each time it appeared to be doing 'something' it would keep dropping out - so even more frustration! Would this ever end? DAY 7: Easter Monday So, after a full recharge of the batteries (both the droid's and my own!), I decided to visit definitely NOT Ken after his Easter break. He remembered me instantly (well he would, wouldn't he?) and asked how he could help. I gave him a potted version of how I spent my Easter caring for my new acquisition, and he nodded sympathetically. The first thing definitely NOT Ken did was to stick a bit of wire into my little droid with the accuracy of an open-heart surgeon, enabling him to extract the SIM card - it turns out that sometimes the card (that he had initially installed!) may need to be re-installed(?). Definitely NOT Ken popped it back in... and the thing burst into life... proudly displaying it's 4G status! Hooray! It's alive! Now whether it was definitely NOT Ken's expert manipulation of my little droid's vital organ, or a sudden burst of healthy radiation delivered by the mothership's in-store Wi-Fi system, we'll never know! But I'm prepared to give definitely NOT Ken the benefit of the doubt. As a final bit of after-sales service, definitely NOT Ken phoned my new droid from the control desk of the mothership to ensure that everything was working as it should. With post-operation procedures completed successfully, I thanked him once more for his brilliant service, but he looked a little hurt when as I was leaving he said "See you later"... and I immediately responded with "I hope not"! I felt compelled to explain to him that it was not meant as an ungrateful gesture, but that I'd simply meant that I hoped I'd have no more problems, and would therefore have no further reasons to return my little droid to its mothership! He seemed to understand and nodded approvingly! Before final departure, I decided to spend the next half hour in the car park making sure that my new phone was in 'working order' by visiting well-known websites and catching up on unopened emails - which of course it was, now that definitely NOT Ken had worked his magic. Once back home it was time to catch up on all the bits and bobs that I'd missed over the last few days. You know the sort of things that you take for granted, like catching up on all the Emmerdale and Corrie episodes that I'd missed over Easter, and submitting meter readings to British Gas, and then being informed that I now owed them £53.10! And of course finally, and probably the least important in the great scheme of things (Too honest for my own good, I am!) a visit to the Sheffield Forum to see what everyone has been getting up to over Easter. Imagine my surprise when I read that my good sparring partner Mr Padders was already missing me, and the whole gang at Padders Bar were trying to track me down. To put everyone's mind at rest, I managed to cobble together a stunted post with the help of my new little droid. I must say that I now have great respect for anyone who uses a mobile phone to post regularly on the forum. Up until now, I'd always thought that those posts containing very few words or full of gramatical and spellin(sic) errors had been thrown together by someone with little care and without much attention to detail. But having replaced the luxury of using a fully grown-up spring-keyed computer keyboard (that's something else that I've been taking for granted - and it's Spring clean is long overdue) with a mobile phone keypad for a few days, I can now say I was wrong! It's so easy to assume that everyone has access to exactly the same equipment and facilities as you do, and then naturally think, why aren't they making a better job of things? Well I can now tell anyone who's yet to try it that it's not easy posting a meaningful and well thought-out reply when you're poking at a touch-sensitive screen with fingers of the size and dexterity of a Richmond frozen pork sausage (other brands are available). DAY 8: Tuesday after Easter Now for the big one! It's time to report a faulty phone line to a service provider that you've very little confidence in, while at the same time being in the middle of switching from them to another service provider. What could possibly go wrong? I'm not sure what I expected. But after being kept 'on hold' for 30 minutes, and for every one of those minutes realising that I'd made the right decision in getting my own mobile phone and not having to rely on the generosity of a relative stranger/neighbour, while also suffering the indignation of adding even more unnecessary (to them at least) expense to their probably ever increasing phone bill, I managed to get through to a very helpful chap with an Irish accent (I didn't catch the name of this one!) He was obviously working from a script, but I informed him that I'd already done the prescribed 'tests' as recommended in "The Phone Book 2014/15" (see Wednesday before Easter). He seemed impressed with my competence, and thanked me for saving him a few valuable minutes! He did a few tests on the line from his end, and came back to tell me that there was indeed a fault on the line. Hmmm... I think I knew that anyway!!! Apparently there was some sort of 'obstruction' on the line... possibly caused by engineering works(???). Hmmm... I was beginning to wonder if this guy had worked in a British Rail call centre in a previous life. Well I suppose at least it meant that I'd not been intentionally cut-off through some sort of admin error incorrectly identifying my account as being in debt! So some good news anyway! He informed me that he would send his report to OpenReach (the telephone line Mr/Mrs/Miss/Ms/Other Fixits) but it might take a couple of days for things to be sorted out (Hmmm... Now where had I recently heard that one before?). It might not even need an engineer to visit(???). We ended the conversation on good terms. I didn't think to mention I was planning on leaving them anyway in a matter of days! DAY 9: Wednesday after Easter It's now been over a week since the start of this little escapade, with no knowing how long it's going to go on for! So it's probably time to drop any reference to Easter from the headings (done!). Home phone line is still dead! My little droid has been keeping me entertained by supplying me with regular updates of what's happening outside in the real world. I'm still toying with the idea of giving it a name. Do people do that? The logical choice would obviously be 'Ann'... but I think it's probably more socially acceptable to settle for a gender neutral label - so, 'Andi' (with an 'i' - we wouldn't want to come across as being old-fashioned) it is then! Visits to Sheffield Forum are restricted to using my Richmond sausage to poke at a few smileys to register my approval. I'm just listening to Paulette Edwards(?) on Radio Sheffield - and a caller called 'Mike McCarthy'(?) is having problems with his kitchen mop! It won't stay in it's allocated crevice in his kitchen and keeps falling over! Callers are phoning in with suggestions and ideas of how to help 'Mike' to convince his mop to behave itself! Hmmm... Maybe I could have done with the help of some of these people over Easter... if only I'd had a working phone to be able to contact the station? Andi reminds me that he/she/it is now available to help me... but I decline the offer of phoning in and suggesting that if 'Mike' wants to stop his mop falling over he should probably restrict its use from clearing up any spillages of alcoholic beverages! Hmmm... I've just had a passing thought... I wonder if there's any recorded cases of anyone exhibiting the symptoms of going 'stir-crazy' due to severe interwebs withdrawal? Apparently todays phone-in topic is 'Are you having problems with an inanimate object?'! Hmmm... Maybe I should give them a ring after all... I might get my very own series! Some of these Radio Sheffield callers are priceless! A woman keeps the key to her locked wardrobe underneath the wardrobe! She leans it forward to get the key and it falls over and smashes into her bed! It's embedded (her own words) and she couldn't move it! Another woman has a bit of an afternoon drinking session and gets stuck down the back of a pub sofa(?). It takes 15 minutes for people to get her out! This is joyous! If ever there was a good thing to come out of my predicament it's the fact that I've been given the opportunity to rediscover Radio Sheffield - I can highly recommend it! Hmmm... Just listening to the Radio Sheffield news... read by... 'Mike McCarthy'(???). Surely this can't be the same 'Mike McCarthy'(?) that called in earlier because he was having problems with his kitchen mop(???). We need to get to the bottom of this! Have we been duped? We mustn't let this be brushed under the kitchen cabinets! Then... GOOD NEWS!!! Just picked up my home phone (at 2:20pm) to check if the line had been fixed, and very much to my surprise I've got a dial tone!!! I hurriedly tested it out by giving Andi his first incoming call (other than the test call made by definitely NOT Ken back at the mothership) - all OK! I then got Andi to ring my home phone - all OK! Now plugging everything back in to test my interwebs connection! SUCCESS!!! This is great... although Andi will probably now be feeling a bit neglected after all the recent attention he/she/it has been receiving! Interestingly, the fix seems to have been completed without the need for a visit from an engineer, and with no sign of an engineer doing any work at the on-street exchange/connection box thingy! And still no notification from OpenReach that the line fault has been fixed! A more cynical person might be led to think that it's the service provider playing games and just 'flipping a switch' to try and get users onto a 'more reliable' (and expensive) fibre connection that they so thoughtfully decided to advertise to customers during the 30 minutes I was kept on hold... ... well they've succeeded... just not with them! Right - time for a break - if you've got this far, you deserve one! Thanks for staying to the end! I’m not convinced Share this post Link to post Share on other sites Share this content via...
Rockers rule 673 #15 Posted April 21, 2022 11 minutes ago, Ridgewalk said: I’m not convinced You could ask for clarification Ridgeway, I'm sure Mr Bloke would only be too happy to explain - 🔻 Hello everyone... I'm back! If you're a bit of a nosey type and have been wondering why I've not been on the forum for the last few days, then this is the thread for you! But if, as I suspect, you're one of the vast majority who couldn't care less and had no idea that I'd not been around for a bit anyway, then by clicking on the following spoiler you will be provided with probably far more information than you were ever interested in knowing... Reveal spoiler Now that we've got that bit sorted, it's probably best if those people who clicked the spoiler, together with those of you who have the attention span of the proverbial goldfish, are now advised to leave the thread and go and find something a little more stimulating to satisfy your interests. Thanks for making a superficial effort anyway! For the rest of you with nothing better to do, it's time to put on your best reading specs and get comfy because this is going to be a long one. Reason for posting this thread Have you ever wondered what it would be like if some of the things you may now be taking for granted were suddenly taken away from you? I'm not talking about the really big things (like losing someone who was very close to you), but the really mundane things... like for example, the loss of a home telephone line. How would you cope? Do you have a back-up plan? The reason I decided to post this is as a reminder to anyone who like myself, may have got themselves into a bit of a rut over the years and probably don't realise that they're taking for granted many of the things that they may depend on - the sort of things that are always there and you may use day after day, without a second thought. It's not until those things stop working or are no longer available that you realise how really important it is to have a back-up plan. But if your car breaks down, or your freezer decides it's finally had enough of single-handedly trying to solve the global warming problem, then you just go out and (funds permitting) get it fixed or buy another one - don't you? OK, so I suppose it sounds a bit over-dramatic in my case - it's only a telephone line not working - and thankfully it wasn't needed for any 'emergencies'. But what I imagined as being a simple job (to fix a phone line) has turned out to be a bit more involved. If you're still following, here we go then... A bit of background info I've had home broadband with the Post Office for probably over 10 years - no problems at all in that time - not as much as as serious outage for more than a few minutes. Absolutely exceptional service! Then I was offered an 18 month contract for £18/month (was previously £30/month) so naturally I snatched their hand off. All was well until a couple of months ago when all Post Office broadband accounts were transferred to another company (ex Post Office customers will know who I mean - everyone else will have to guess at which well-known high-street petrochemical company it is). Line outages became a regular occurrence, and the line speed was rubbish by comparison to what the Post Office had provided. So, I'd already decided to change broadband provider a few months before the end of the contract, but hadn't actually got around to doing anything about it yet. Now, it may also surprise some of you, but the creator of such YouTube technological masterpieces as "Mr Bloke's 12 Forum Days Of Christmas" and of course "We Didn't Kill The Forum", is a bit of a techie dinosaur, and has never actually owned a mobile phone. I've never had the need for one because if anyone wants me they can phone me at home - right? Well they could for the last 20-odd years anyway! It had crossed my mind on many occasions that it was about time I dragged myself into the 21st century by finally taking the plunge and getting a mobile phone (shock! horror!). It probably wouldn't get much use, but it would at least be worth having one as an 'insurance policy' in case of any emergency breakdowns in my now (very) ageing mode of transport. The last time I broke down was a few years ago before Covid, and a very helpful gentleman who happened to be passing let me use his mobile to phone the breakdown services - I'm not sure how many people would be so helpful post Covid. Anyhow, back to the story... DAY 1: Tuesday before Easter At 11:00am, right in the middle of my morning YouTube session, the interwebs went down again. Being a particularly patient sort who was by now getting used to these drop-outs, I waited for it to return... and waited... and waited. This was taking longer than usual, so I finally decided to give them a ring to see what the problem was. And that's when I found the phone line was completely dead - no calls and no interwebs connection! I also realised that despite paying my TV licence diligently, I no longer had a working TV set, relying on my interwebs connection to provide access to the few TV programmes that I do still watch. So I spent the rest of the day formulating a plan of action while listening to good old Radio Sheffield to relieve the monotony of life without the interwebs (I've not listened to it for a few years but at least that was still there when I needed it!) Without a working phone I obviously couldn't contact the service provider. Hmmm... Should I nip next door and explain my predicament to my newly installed neighbours in the hope of them letting me use their phone? Or should I wait until tomorrow, finally get myself a mobile phone (this could be the 'push' I needed to make the 'jump') and then use it to contact my service provider - and my new neighbours wouldn't be any the wiser that they'd moved into a house next door to Fred Flintstone? I decided to wait! DAY 2: Wednesday before Easter So, tomorrow came, and after checking that the phone line was still dead by removing the front faceplate of the telephone socket with a cross-headed screwdriver and plugging my phone directly into the 'test' socket, as recommended by 'The Phone Book 2014/15' (whatever happened to them?), it was confirmed that it was indeed the phone-line that was at fault! Right, time to get off to Currys? (aka Carphone Warehouse?) and bag myself a bit of technological wizardry! This was going to be a bit daunting. How many people have never had a mobile phone? This could turn out to be a bit of an embarrassing experience. That "Not The Nine O'Clock News" TV sketch of Griff Rhys Jones, Mel Smith and Rowan Atkinson in the Hi-Fi shop immediately sprang to mind. For those of you who've no idea what I'm going on about... here's a reminder. I prepared myself for ridicule! Having wandered around the shop for a few nervous minutes, I finally worked up courage to approach one of the assistants. I decided to come clean and explain that I was a complete dumbo with regards to mobile phones. To be fair, the assistant was very welcoming, although looking back, I think he was enjoying my story far too much and for far too long before he passed me onto his accomplice - at which point I had to repeat my predicament again. Well, at least this would prove to be less embarrassing explaining my communication habits to two complete strangers who (in all probability) I would never see again, than to some relative strangers/neighbours who (for all I know) I may be living next door to for the rest of my life! But it wasn't too long before I realised that this second guy was the business... the real deal! What he didn't know about mobile phones probably wasn't worth knowing! (And his name was definitely NOT Ken!) Anyway, to cut a long story short(ish)... he found the right phone/deal for me, installed the SIM card(?), and even took pity on me and gave me a 'free' memory card (so I could save all my precious photos?) At this point I could have walked away happy - but by now I'd so much confidence in this guy knowing his stuff that I decided to also get my home broadband supplier changed at the same time. Yep, I'd have to stand the cost for terminating the existing contract a couple of months early, but that was something I was prepared to do if it meant no more hassle with connection drop-outs! So, all sorted, new mobile phone and new home broadband supplier! Definitely NOT Ken also went to the trouble of showing me his working hours over Easter, just in case I had any problems and needed to pop back to see him! This guy was magnificent! As I was leaving, definitely NOT Ken, advised me that it might take a couple of days for my new phone to be 'activated', and I should spend the time getting to know my new bit of tech! I left the store with a smile on my face despite having just signed up to 2 year contracts for both mobile and home broadband! And with definitely NOT Ken's working hours securely saved to memory, I left for home confident that he would be there to help should I need him. DAY 3: Thursday before Easter I spent most of Thursday between doing a bit of weeding (it was a nice day) and pacing up and down doing the expectant father thing, anxiously waiting for any little indication that my new acquisition was in the process of springing into life. Nothing! But it had only been a day, and definitely NOT Ken warned me that it could be a couple of days! And it was Easter, so I decided to wait patiently and give it until Easter Monday (which I remembered was the first day back at work for definitely NOT Ken after the holidays). DAY 4: Good Friday I must admit that I was half-expecting an Easter miracle. Maybe my dead phone line would come back to life, or at the very least, there would be a murmur of hope from my technological brick? But nothing to report... other than a bit more weeding done and a bit more pacing up and down! I was also beginning to realise that I was quickly becoming a regular fan of the Radio Sheffield quizzes(?) DAY 5: Easter Saturday Much like Good Friday... no news is good news... right? It was now getting onto 4 days that my home broadband had been down and I'd still not been able to report the fault! Maybe I should have introduced myself to my new neighbours as Mr Flintstone after all? DAY 6: Easter Sunday Having given up on the idea of an Easter miracle happening, I resigned myself to having to make another visit to see definitely NOT Ken at the mothership on Easter Monday (having also been reliably informed by him that limited trading hours apply). I was becoming increasingly aware of how we depend on things without even realising it. Then it happened! My little droid was trying to communicate with me! First a system update(?)... and then a notification(?)... that I needed to access Wi-Fi to complete the activation process(???). A feeling of sudden excitement and relief soon turned to frustration. This was a problem that I'd not anticipated... and definitely NOT Ken would have appeared to have overlooked (but more likely something I'd not fully taken onboard during my in-store lecture session). How to access a Wi-Fi connection when my home broadband had not been working for the last few days? Hmmm... No problem... a bit of jiggling (you learn a lot when things don't immediately work as they're supposed to)... and a connection to BTWi-Fi was achieved (which although was a very poor signal, appeared to be the only one where I didn't need to enter a password). Now although this seemed to be doing 'something', it's not clear to the untrained eye exactly what this had achieved... and the line kept dropping out! (something I was quickly becoming an expert in detecting) The rest of the day was spent trying to get a connection to encourage my little dormant droid to do its thing. Each time it appeared to be doing 'something' it would keep dropping out - so even more frustration! Would this ever end? DAY 7: Easter Monday So, after a full recharge of the batteries (both the droid's and my own!), I decided to visit definitely NOT Ken after his Easter break. He remembered me instantly (well he would, wouldn't he?) and asked how he could help. I gave him a potted version of how I spent my Easter caring for my new acquisition, and he nodded sympathetically. The first thing definitely NOT Ken did was to stick a bit of wire into my little droid with the accuracy of an open-heart surgeon, enabling him to extract the SIM card - it turns out that sometimes the card (that he had initially installed!) may need to be re-installed(?). Definitely NOT Ken popped it back in... and the thing burst into life... proudly displaying it's 4G status! Hooray! It's alive! Now whether it was definitely NOT Ken's expert manipulation of my little droid's vital organ, or a sudden burst of healthy radiation delivered by the mothership's in-store Wi-Fi system, we'll never know! But I'm prepared to give definitely NOT Ken the benefit of the doubt. As a final bit of after-sales service, definitely NOT Ken phoned my new droid from the control desk of the mothership to ensure that everything was working as it should. With post-operation procedures completed successfully, I thanked him once more for his brilliant service, but he looked a little hurt when as I was leaving he said "See you later"... and I immediately responded with "I hope not"! I felt compelled to explain to him that it was not meant as an ungrateful gesture, but that I'd simply meant that I hoped I'd have no more problems, and would therefore have no further reasons to return my little droid to its mothership! He seemed to understand and nodded approvingly! Before final departure, I decided to spend the next half hour in the car park making sure that my new phone was in 'working order' by visiting well-known websites and catching up on unopened emails - which of course it was, now that definitely NOT Ken had worked his magic. Once back home it was time to catch up on all the bits and bobs that I'd missed over the last few days. You know the sort of things that you take for granted, like catching up on all the Emmerdale and Corrie episodes that I'd missed over Easter, and submitting meter readings to British Gas, and then being informed that I now owed them £53.10! And of course finally, and probably the least important in the great scheme of things (Too honest for my own good, I am!) a visit to the Sheffield Forum to see what everyone has been getting up to over Easter. Imagine my surprise when I read that my good sparring partner Mr Padders was already missing me, and the whole gang at Padders Bar were trying to track me down. To put everyone's mind at rest, I managed to cobble together a stunted post with the help of my new little droid. I must say that I now have great respect for anyone who uses a mobile phone to post regularly on the forum. Up until now, I'd always thought that those posts containing very few words or full of gramatical and spellin(sic) errors had been thrown together by someone with little care and without much attention to detail. But having replaced the luxury of using a fully grown-up spring-keyed computer keyboard (that's something else that I've been taking for granted - and it's Spring clean is long overdue) with a mobile phone keypad for a few days, I can now say I was wrong! It's so easy to assume that everyone has access to exactly the same equipment and facilities as you do, and then naturally think, why aren't they making a better job of things? Well I can now tell anyone who's yet to try it that it's not easy posting a meaningful and well thought-out reply when you're poking at a touch-sensitive screen with fingers of the size and dexterity of a Richmond frozen pork sausage (other brands are available). DAY 8: Tuesday after Easter Now for the big one! It's time to report a faulty phone line to a service provider that you've very little confidence in, while at the same time being in the middle of switching from them to another service provider. What could possibly go wrong? I'm not sure what I expected. But after being kept 'on hold' for 30 minutes, and for every one of those minutes realising that I'd made the right decision in getting my own mobile phone and not having to rely on the generosity of a relative stranger/neighbour, while also suffering the indignation of adding even more unnecessary (to them at least) expense to their probably ever increasing phone bill, I managed to get through to a very helpful chap with an Irish accent (I didn't catch the name of this one!) He was obviously working from a script, but I informed him that I'd already done the prescribed 'tests' as recommended in "The Phone Book 2014/15" (see Wednesday before Easter). He seemed impressed with my competence, and thanked me for saving him a few valuable minutes! He did a few tests on the line from his end, and came back to tell me that there was indeed a fault on the line. Hmmm... I think I knew that anyway!!! Apparently there was some sort of 'obstruction' on the line... possibly caused by engineering works(???). Hmmm... I was beginning to wonder if this guy had worked in a British Rail call centre in a previous life. Well I suppose at least it meant that I'd not been intentionally cut-off through some sort of admin error incorrectly identifying my account as being in debt! So some good news anyway! He informed me that he would send his report to OpenReach (the telephone line Mr/Mrs/Miss/Ms/Other Fixits) but it might take a couple of days for things to be sorted out (Hmmm... Now where had I recently heard that one before?). It might not even need an engineer to visit(???). We ended the conversation on good terms. I didn't think to mention I was planning on leaving them anyway in a matter of days! DAY 9: Wednesday after Easter It's now been over a week since the start of this little escapade, with no knowing how long it's going to go on for! So it's probably time to drop any reference to Easter from the headings (done!). Home phone line is still dead! My little droid has been keeping me entertained by supplying me with regular updates of what's happening outside in the real world. I'm still toying with the idea of giving it a name. Do people do that? The logical choice would obviously be 'Ann'... but I think it's probably more socially acceptable to settle for a gender neutral label - so, 'Andi' (with an 'i' - we wouldn't want to come across as being old-fashioned) it is then! Visits to Sheffield Forum are restricted to using my Richmond sausage to poke at a few smileys to register my approval. I'm just listening to Paulette Edwards(?) on Radio Sheffield - and a caller called 'Mike McCarthy'(?) is having problems with his kitchen mop! It won't stay in it's allocated crevice in his kitchen and keeps falling over! Callers are phoning in with suggestions and ideas of how to help 'Mike' to convince his mop to behave itself! Hmmm... Maybe I could have done with the help of some of these people over Easter... if only I'd had a working phone to be able to contact the station? Andi reminds me that he/she/it is now available to help me... but I decline the offer of phoning in and suggesting that if 'Mike' wants to stop his mop falling over he should probably restrict its use from clearing up any spillages of alcoholic beverages! Hmmm... I've just had a passing thought... I wonder if there's any recorded cases of anyone exhibiting the symptoms of going 'stir-crazy' due to severe interwebs withdrawal? Apparently todays phone-in topic is 'Are you having problems with an inanimate object?'! Hmmm... Maybe I should give them a ring after all... I might get my very own series! Some of these Radio Sheffield callers are priceless! A woman keeps the key to her locked wardrobe underneath the wardrobe! She leans it forward to get the key and it falls over and smashes into her bed! It's embedded (her own words) and she couldn't move it! Another woman has a bit of an afternoon drinking session and gets stuck down the back of a pub sofa(?). It takes 15 minutes for people to get her out! This is joyous! If ever there was a good thing to come out of my predicament it's the fact that I've been given the opportunity to rediscover Radio Sheffield - I can highly recommend it! Hmmm... Just listening to the Radio Sheffield news... read by... 'Mike McCarthy'(???). Surely this can't be the same 'Mike McCarthy'(?) that called in earlier because he was having problems with his kitchen mop(???). We need to get to the bottom of this! Have we been duped? We mustn't let this be brushed under the kitchen cabinets! Then... GOOD NEWS!!! Just picked up my home phone (at 2:20pm) to check if the line had been fixed, and very much to my surprise I've got a dial tone!!! I hurriedly tested it out by giving Andi his first incoming call (other than the test call made by definitely NOT Ken back at the mothership) - all OK! I then got Andi to ring my home phone - all OK! Now plugging everything back in to test my interwebs connection! SUCCESS!!! This is great... although Andi will probably now be feeling a bit neglected after all the recent attention he/she/it has been receiving! Interestingly, the fix seems to have been completed without the need for a visit from an engineer, and with no sign of an engineer doing any work at the on-street exchange/connection box thingy! And still no notification from OpenReach that the line fault has been fixed! A more cynical person might be led to think that it's the service provider playing games and just 'flipping a switch' to try and get users onto a 'more reliable' (and expensive) fibre connection that they so thoughtfully decided to advertise to customers during the 30 minutes I was kept on hold... ... well they've succeeded... just not with them! Right - time for a break - if you've got this far, you deserve one! Thanks for staying to the end! 🤣 🤣 🤣 . Share this post Link to post Share on other sites Share this content via...
SFBeca 194 #16 Posted April 21, 2022 @Mr Bloke this gave me a chuckle! how are you finding Andi? Share this post Link to post Share on other sites Share this content via...
Mr Bloke 1,445 #17 Posted April 21, 2022 42 minutes ago, SFBeca said: @Mr Bloke this gave me a chuckle! how are you finding Andi? Hmmm... Well I'm glad someone has managed to get a bit of amusement from my predicament... ... most reports I've read so far seem to involve people nodding off at their keyboards. No, I can't work that one out either! Anyhow, thanks for your interest in Andi. After all the recent activities I've given him/her/it the day off. I can report that he/she/it is settling into his/her/its new home fine, and has found a nice comfy spot next to my PC keyboard. We plan on making our first real outing together tomorrow - I'm taking Andi shopping! I'll be sure to let everyone know how we get on... 1 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites Share this content via...
SFBeca 194 #18 Posted April 21, 2022 @Mr Bloke haha let us know how you get on! It's reminded me of when I bought my Grandad a mobile for when he was alone down at the allotment... tried calling.. phone off.. sat turned off in the kitchen cupboard! 1 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites Share this content via...
Mr Bloke 1,445 #19 Posted April 22, 2022 20 hours ago, SFBeca said: @Mr Bloke haha let us know how you get on! It's reminded me of when I bought my Grandad a mobile for when he was alone down at the allotment... tried calling.. phone off.. sat turned off in the kitchen cupboard! Hmmm... Sadly, I've a bit of bad news to report... ...the shopping trip I'd planned to take Andi on today has had to be put on hold! My new router could be delivered 'anytime', and I wouldn't want to be out when it arrives! Just thought I'd mention it... ... it might be a help to anyone who's not managed to get a good night's sleep! 1 1 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites Share this content via...
Mr Bloke 1,445 #20 Posted April 22, 2022 Hmmm... Sorry if I'm disturbing anyone's afternoon nap but... ... Andi has just received a text message from my service provider telling us that my home phone line fault has now been fixed. Which is comforting to know... ... since I've been using it since 2:20pm on Wednesday (over 2 days ago!) I thought you'd all like to know... Share this post Link to post Share on other sites Share this content via...
Padders 2,867 #21 Posted May 20, 2022 On 22/04/2022 at 17:16, Mr Bloke said: Hmmm... Sorry if I'm disturbing anyone's afternoon nap but... WAKEY WAKEY !!! EVERYONE. It's been almost a month since the last post.. I think it's safe to assume the coast is clear.... Share this post Link to post Share on other sites Share this content via...
