Is It Just Me ?

[Padders 2,850]

Now I live alone, in fact I've lived in almost solitary confinement for the last seven years.

This means that every minor mishap becomes an epic catastrophe , everytime I leave the house becomes a major expedition into the unknown.

 

I have a nice garden, or should I say lawn. I keep topside of it, and always make sure It's neat and tidy.

Around my lawn I have borders, bare borders, just soil which I hoe regular to keep the weeds at bay.

My late wife used to fill the borders with flowers and it looked very nice, I used to grow fruit and veg (very successfully I might add)

So this morning I thought I'd make the most of the sun (now turned into rain) and get my garden sorted.

I donned my Percy Thrower hat, and pottered to the Wentworth garden centre, Now I'm sure I stood out like a lost soul in there, the last time I visited a garden centre was with my late wife, whom seemed to know everything about horticulture, me, I haven't a clue what to buy in a garden centre

 

I just stood there looking like a complete fool, when I was approached by a fellow with a name label on his lapel, the first thing I spotted was a big K, Oh no!!! not another Ken...

I was in luck, this time it was a Keith..

Keith must have guessed I was a "first timer" cus he started to lecture me about the do's and don'ts of gardening. He was telling me what needed planting at this time of the year, which plants needed shade, what sort of soil to use and all that...

I must be honest, it all went over my head, I just stick them in the ground, if they live, they live, and if not? well at least I've had a go.

I finished up with some stuff to feed the lawn, cus last year I was trying to kill of the moss, and managed to kill the grass as well.

Anyway I had to escape the clutches of this Keith bloke, so I headed of to the coffee shop..

On my way out of the gardening area I spotted someone who was a dead ringer for Michael J fox, I'm not sure if it was really him because he had his back to the Fuchsia's.

 

So I found the coffee shop, and purchased a Cappuccino, which made a rather big dent in my wallet!

I retreated to a quiet corner of the shop, and sat at a table on my own.

Now I've always suspected I'm turning into a grumpy old sourpuss and curmudgeon, who finds the sight and sound of other peoples offspring not just mildly annoying, but wildly aggravating.

So this mother comes in, and sits on the next table with her two young children in tow. (I can't tell a five-year-old from an eight-year-old these days because I don't give a monkeys)

They were well enough behaved, but there were toys and sporadic loud noises from their table, screeches on and off, and tears when they didn't get what they wanted.

Perhaps I'm being unfair, it wasn't the children winding me up, but the mother..

I supped my coffee, and hot footed it out of there.. I was relieved to get back home.

Why is it, that when I leave my home, I find myself surrounded by idiots?

Does anyone else encounter similar situations?

 

Or is it just me?

[hackey lad 3,950]

2 minutes ago, Padders said:

Now I live alone, in fact I've lived in almost solitary confinement for the last seven years.

This means that every minor mishap becomes an epic catastrophe , everytime I leave the house becomes a major expedition into the unknown.

 

I have a nice garden, or should I say lawn. I keep topside of it, and always make sure It's neat and tidy.

Around my lawn I have borders, bare borders, just soil which I hoe regular to keep the weeds at bay.

My late wife used to fill the borders with flowers and it looked very nice, I used to grow fruit and veg (very successfully I might add)

So this morning I thought I'd make the most of the sun (now turned into rain) and get my garden sorted.

I donned my Percy Thrower hat, and pottered to the Wentworth garden centre, Now I'm sure I stood out like a lost soul in there, the last time I visited a garden centre was with my late wife, whom seemed to know everything about horticulture, me, I haven't a clue what to buy in a garden centre

 

I just stood there looking like a complete fool, when I was approached by a fellow with a name label on his lapel, the first thing I spotted was a big K, Oh no!!! not another Ken...

I was in luck, this time it was a Keith..

Keith must have guessed I was a "first timer" cus he started to lecture me about the do's and don'ts of gardening. He was telling me what needed planting at this time of the year, which plants needed shade, what sort of soil to use and all that...

I must be honest, it all went over my head, I just stick them in the ground, if they live, they live, and if not? well at least I've had a go.

I finished up with some stuff to feed the lawn, cus last year I was trying to kill of the moss, and managed to kill the grass as well.

Anyway I had to escape the clutches of this Keith bloke, so I headed of to the coffee shop..

On my way out of the gardening area I spotted someone who was a dead ringer for Michael J fox, I'm not sure if it was really him because he had his back to the Fuchsia's.

 

So I found the coffee shop, and purchased a Cappuccino, which made a rather big dent in my wallet!

I retreated to a quiet corner of the shop, and sat at a table on my own.

Now I've always suspected I'm turning into a grumpy old sourpuss and curmudgeon, who finds the sight and sound of other peoples offspring not just mildly annoying, but wildly aggravating.

So this mother comes in, and sits on the next table with her two young children in tow. (I can't tell a five-year-old from an eight-year-old these days because I don't give a monkeys)

They were well enough behaved, but there were toys and sporadic loud noises from their table, screeches on and off, and tears when they didn't get what they wanted.

Perhaps I'm being unfair, it wasn't the children winding me up, but the mother..

I supped my coffee, and hot footed it out of there.. I was relieved to get back home.

Why is it, that when I leave my home, I find myself surrounded by idiots?

Does anyone else encounter similar situations?

 

Or is it just me?

I feel your pain . I seem to attract nutters on the bus or tram .

[Mr Bloke 1,445]

15 minutes ago, hackey lad said:

I feel your pain . I seem to attract nutters on the bus or tram .

Hmmm...

I seem to attract nutters on-line...

[Guest]

Oh, it's not just you. 

 

But be nice to Keith.  He was only trying to make sure you didn't waste your money by buying something that might shrivel to a blackened nubbin if you plant it in the wrong place or look at it funny.  And his boss was probably hovering nearby to make sure he was doing his job and helping out the likely gardening newbies. 

 

As for kids: I'd happily lock most of them away in soundproof boxes, and chuck in a quite a few of the parents too.

[francypants 441]

Oh Pads ......   love the bit about Michael J Fox,  that made me laugh out loud.    😂

No Pads you're not on your own  .........  that's why I don't go out much.     

[Padders 2,850]

30 minutes ago, francypants said:

Oh Pads ......   love the bit about Michael J Fox,  that made me laugh out loud.    😂

No Pads you're not on your own  .........  that's why I don't go out much.     

I think getting grumpy is an age thing Francy,

They had some good offers on at Wentworth, if there are any gardeners out there looking for a bargain..

They have some big bags of manure for sale...BUY ONE, GET ONE FREE.

Not to be sniffed at..

 

Weeds, chuffin Weeds,

I think weeds are a plant that has mastered every survival skill, except for learning how to grow in rows...

[lobster 54]

The number of Idiots appears to be rising and most appear to work for call centres  . I cancelled  Sky Cinema last week mainly because the films are rubbish . It took me 45 minutes , the halfwit tried for 25 mins to sell me Superfast Broadband despite me telling him the  fibre line stops  100yds down the road 

[lazarus 68]

You’re not on your own padders, just because I have grey hair store assistants think I’m an idiot and I’m lost in todays world  which I’m not, in fact I’m far from it. I don’t like talking to strangers as usually they tell you their age, not interested, they recite their ailments and  treatment while pronouncing their ills and medication perfectly, I’m not interested. People who take up two seats on a bus with themselves and their shopping, fortunately because of covid that trick has lessened off, why do women especially ignore their offspring while travelling or taking them to school, all they seem to do is keep their eyes glued to the phone, the new school starters lag behind while mum is telling someone on Facebook that she’s had her nails done, why do they seem to ignore the most precious thing they will ever have, their children, life isn’t lived in a phone it’s lived with your children and husband if you’ve bothered to get married.

[drolnhoj 15]

I on the other hand don't live alone and find myself venturing out, just for the peace and tranquility of a supermarket or a bargain store. Enough said. 

[Kidorry 189]

The thing that gets me is the mothers who just let their offsprings scream and shout, and, just stand there talking on the phone. It happens mainly in supermarkets.

[Anna B 1,401]

Poor Padders, I understand entirely. 

 

Parenting isn't what it used to be is it? I have to sit on my hands these days for fear of giving their little darlings the clip round the ear they deserve. You could try brightening  up your afternoon by engaging the young mother in lighthearted conversation: try telling her what you think of her offspings manners, and I promise you a lively debate with much banter.

 

As for Kieth, it might be fun to ask him for his assistance by fetching you the plants you might want to consider, you can even have a cart ready to put them in. And don't forget to specify their location in your garden, light and shade etc so as to give him a real challenge. This should take at least 30 minutes. When the cart is full, tell him you've changed your mind, and you can get them cheaper at the shop down your road. My how he'll chuckle.

 

Coffee is another opportunity for high spirits. I always spill half and blame the waitress. Create enough of a scene and you'll get another cup entirely free, and when you've  practised, even cop for a free bun.   

 

There are so many happy ways of sharing your afternoon out with others. No need to spend your leisure time alone as a grumpy old fart. As the youngsters say, 'Earn the title, and Own it.'

Edited April 6, 2022 by Anna B

[Padders 2,850]

26 minutes ago, Kidorry said:

The thing that gets me is the mothers who just let their offsprings scream and shout, and, just stand there talking on the phone. It happens mainly in supermarkets.

I'm sure they themselves are absolutely delightful adults, but the constant pandering to their offspring is the problem..

Its the incessant desire to appease their children.

When I was a small child, a glare from mi mother usually did the trick, if that didn't work, I knew what to expect....

A Bare knuckle backhander, and if I cried I got another one..