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Basic Instruction In Household Repairs Wanted

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I’m absolutely useless at anything practical, and I mean ANYTHING.  When they were handing out the dexterity and handy person gene at birth I was the one who would have been left out. Watching me put a deck chair up on the beach for instance must be comedy gold, i’m amazed I’ve not featured on a 

You Tube channel as «  watch this useless twerp ». I’m a 67 years old man who would like to become a bit more self sufficient before it’s too late, although probably that horse has bolted.


is  anyone willing to offer a bit of «  hands on training «  in all manner of practical skills ? Not bothered if it’s a male or female or however you self identify, , young, old, in between etc. if you’re willing to offer any help it would be appreciated. I’m obviously willing to travel.

 

My uselessness is a joy to behold.

 

Otherwise could anyone suggest a very very basic course ?


You could PM me on this board


 

 

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2 hours ago, Ridgewalk said:

I’m absolutely useless at anything practical, and I mean ANYTHING.  When they were handing out the dexterity and handy person gene at birth I was the one who would have been left out. Watching me put a deck chair up on the beach for instance must be comedy gold, i’m amazed I’ve not featured on a 

You Tube channel as «  watch this useless twerp ». I’m a 67 years old man who would like to become a bit more self sufficient before it’s too late, although probably that horse has bolted.


is  anyone willing to offer a bit of «  hands on training «  in all manner of practical skills ? Not bothered if it’s a male or female or however you self identify, , young, old, in between etc. if you’re willing to offer any help it would be appreciated. I’m obviously willing to travel.

 

My uselessness is a joy to behold.

 

Otherwise could anyone suggest a very very basic course ?


You could PM me on this board


 

 

I do a lot of odd jobs in the garden...

I'm willing to show you how to,

Constantly trip over things,

Bang your head on the shed roof,

Hammer the back of your hand,

Stand on any nails that may be lurking around,

Mow the grass, and cut through the cord,

Stand on the rake, and whack your face,

Take the tip of your finger, when using the Electric Hedgecutter,

Dropping the toolbox scattering, nuts, bolts, screws, washers, etc all over,

I'm skilled in many other things too.

When shall I call round?

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1 hour ago, Padders said:

I do a lot of odd jobs in the garden...

I'm willing to show you how to,

Constantly trip over things,

Bang your head on the shed roof,

Hammer the back of your hand,

Stand on any nails that may be lurking around,

Mow the grass, and cut through the cord,

Stand on the rake, and whack your face,

Take the tip of your finger, when using the Electric Hedgecutter,

Dropping the toolbox scattering, nuts, bolts, screws, washers, etc all over,

I'm skilled in many other things too.

When shall I call round?

In fact I can iron(y) so that’s one «  skill » I’ve got 

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As daft as it may sound....YouTube some DIY videos, compare a few and try it out.

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17 hours ago, Pyrotequila said:

As daft as it may sound....YouTube some DIY videos, compare a few and try it out.

Not at all daft. I am equally skilled as OP and I have found that when I have a job that needs doing You Tube is an excellent source of how to do it .

 

DIY training is all very well but but will you remember when you need to do it for real? What is useful is if you need it for someone to show you how to turn off the water both hot and cold for the house, upstairs how to turn off the electricity.

 

Sometimes the real help you need is the fiddly things - how do you hold on to the light fitting while fitting the wire into it and using the screw driver to tighten with just two hands? or if you are changing the front door lock how do you get the the bit to fit into the key cylinder

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52 minutes ago, Bigal1 said:

Not at all daft. I am equally skilled as OP and I have found that when I have a job that needs doing You Tube is an excellent source of how to do it .

 

DIY training is all very well but but will you remember when you need to do it for real? What is useful is if you need it for someone to show you how to turn off the water both hot and cold for the house, upstairs how to turn off the electricity.

 

Sometimes the real help you need is the fiddly things - how do you hold on to the light fitting while fitting the wire into it and using the screw driver to tighten with just two hands? or if you are changing the front door lock how do you get the the bit to fit into the key cylinder

Bang on that. People make assumptions based on gender role. Some of us don’t fit the stereotype i’m afraid. Thanks for the reply 

18 hours ago, Pyrotequila said:

As daft as it may sound....YouTube some DIY videos, compare a few and try it out.

Good idea but I think I also need «  hands on ». 

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Bang on that. People make assumptions based on gender role. Some of us don’t fit the stereotype i’m afraid. Thanks for the reply 

 

Sorry no idea how the gender issue has piggybacked my reply you seem to have made an assumption based on my handle which is quite wrong I am male OAP and big al not bi gal

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18 hours ago, Pyrotequila said:

As daft as it may sound....YouTube some DIY videos, compare a few and try it out.

Sometimes invaluable for car related repairs.

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20 hours ago, Padders said:

I do a lot of odd jobs in the garden...

I'm willing to show you how to,

Constantly trip over things,

Bang your head on the shed roof,

Hammer the back of your hand,

Stand on any nails that may be lurking around,

Mow the grass, and cut through the cord,

Stand on the rake, and whack your face,

Take the tip of your finger, when using the Electric Hedgecutter,

Dropping the toolbox scattering, nuts, bolts, screws, washers, etc all over,

I'm skilled in many other things too.

When shall I call round?

Oh I so identify with that Padders...

Totally cackhanded. 

Where are the Handypersons when you need them?

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5 minutes ago, Anna B said:

Oh I so identify with that Padders...

Totally cackhanded. 

Where are the Handypersons when you need them?

The bit I could not identify with  was the first line of his post

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14 minutes ago, Bigal1 said:

The bit I could not identify with  was the first line of his post

Hmmm... :huh:


I had no trouble identifying with the first line of Mr Padders post...


... I had a dog that did exactly the same thing! :(

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I'm even better in the Kitchen,

I bought a 1kg bag of frozen peas from Iceland, when I got home and lifted the peas out of my shopping bag, they split open, the kitchen floor was a sea of green.

Did the same thing with gravy granules, bent down picked them out of the cupboard, to be left with only the lid..Ah-Bisto.

I decided to have a couple of hard boiled eggs, put them in the pan to boil..and forgot all about them..

1hr later I heard an explosion in the kitchen, What the!!! I rushed into the kitchen, only to find my kitchen walls had a nice Egg shell finish.

Talking about Eggs, someone told me that rubbing a raw egg on your hair works wonders, so what does Joe Soap do..

He rubs a raw egg on his head, leaves it a couple of mins, then washes his hair with hot water,,, I didn't eat the resulting scrambled egg.

Not once, not twice but multiple times have I opened the cupboard (head height one) door, dropped summat on the floor, bent down to pick it up, stood back up and bang (you guessed it) I'm seriously thinking of wearing protective headgear.

And that's another thing, when I drop a small item on the floor, why does it vanish of the planet..

And all this happened just last week....

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