Say It With Flowers?

[The_DADDY 3,461]

Hi everyone. I hope you are all enjoying your weekend. 

Question. What could I get for my next door neighbour who sadly lost his wife recently. 

I thought of flowers but I feel they are a bit predictable and stale so I was wondering what alternative way I could show our condolences. 

I have between £20 to £25 to spend and I was thinking of a photo frame he could put his favourite picture in but having looked online I'm struggling to find a decent one for my budget. Had anyone got any ideas? 

Thanks 👍

[Longcol 597]

Decent bottle of something - whisky, brandy, wine?

[bassett one 449]

hi go to t k max at meadowhead or in town,they have some great ones at big discounts,they are ex top shops stuff,take a look,there must be some big bargains at other stores as they wish to turnover there stock,after months of closure.

[The_DADDY 3,461]

1 hour ago, Longcol said:

Decent bottle of something - whisky, brandy, wine?

Hi Longcol. I never even considered that. Thank you. I'll nip to morrisons tomorrow, they seem to have a decent selection and plenty of it is in my budget 

Cheers 🥃

[rachelmum 11]

Having lost my mum in December last year. I would say the best gift would be to share a memory you have of your neighbour's wife. It is important to think our loved ones meant something to others. If you have a story or memory of the deceased lady to share, I'm sure that would mean more than a gift. 

[The_DADDY 3,461]

33 minutes ago, bassett one said:

hi go to t k max at meadowhead or in town,they have some great ones at big discounts,they are ex top shops stuff,take a look,there must be some big bargains at other stores as they wish to turnover there stock,after months of closure.

Hi bassett one. Thank you for your suggestion but I decided to go with Longcolls idea of a tipple instead. Thinking about it abit more maybe a frame would be a constant reminder where as raising a glass could give happy memories. God I'm terrible at choosing gifts. I'm like this at birthdays and Christmas too. Good job we have the Internet eh.

Thank you again for your suggestion 🙏

[Longcol 597]

15 minutes ago, The_DADDY said:

Hi Longcol. I never even considered that. Thank you. I'll nip to morrisons tomorrow, they seem to have a decent selection and plenty of it is in my budget 

Cheers 🥃

All the best mate 👍

[The_DADDY 3,461]

4 minutes ago, rachelmum said:

Having lost my mum in December last year. I would say the best gift would be to share a memory you have of your neighbour's wife. It is important to think our loved ones meant something to others. If you have a story or memory of the deceased lady to share, I'm sure that would mean more than a gift. 

Sorry for your loss rachelmum. You know that's a fabulous idea and I kind of did this earlier today. Me and the kids were on the garden fixing the shed and he asked me from over the fence who did the roof. I told him I'd done it and he complimented me on the job. We got chatting for a while and I mentioned his wife, I told him what I thought of her and we chatted. It was tough for him, we could tell and he went in the house. He's a lovely bloke and he knows we are here for him and I made sure during the last lockdown he had my number so if he needs anything he knows to call me. Life eh, it'd be much better if death didn't always have to come at the end. 

Actually ignore that. I'm not too sure I'd like to live forever. 

2 minutes ago, Longcol said:

All the best mate 👍

Thank you matey 🙏

[rachelmum 11]

2 minutes ago, The_DADDY said:

Sorry for your loss rachelmum. You know that's a fabulous idea and I kind of did this earlier today. Me and the kids were on the garden fixing the shed and he asked me from over the fence who did the roof. I told him I'd done it and he complimented me on the job. We got chatting for a while and I mentioned his wife, I told him what I thought of her and we chatted. It was tough for him, we could tell and he went in the house. He's a lovely bloke and he knows we are here for him and I made sure during the last lockdown he had my number so if he needs anything he knows to call me. Life eh, it'd be much better if death didn't always have to come at the end. 

Actually ignore that. I'm not too sure I'd like to live forever. 

Thank you matey 🙏

That's the best you can do be there for people. There is no perfect gift, the fact that you care, keep an eye on your neighbour and he knows you are there if he needs you will mean so very much to him , even if he hasn't the words at the moment to say it to you. Hang in there.

[MJ01 439]

11 hours ago, The_DADDY said:

Hi Longcol. I never even considered that. Thank you. I'll nip to morrisons tomorrow, they seem to have a decent selection and plenty of it is in my budget 

Cheers 🥃

Have you checked that they aren't Quakers or Methodists or one of the other groups that eschews alcohol?

[andyofborg 11]

Alcohol may not be the best thing to give to a grieving person.

 

There are some medications which interect badly with alcohol and there is always the chance he may have an alcohol problem. 

 

If he is elderly then he's probably from the time where people didn't share every feeling with the universe and he may not welcome an intrusion, even one as well intentioned as yours clearly is.

 

Also, how close was your relationship before his wife passed? If not very close, then maybe the thing to do is just pop round once a week and see if he needs anything, shopping or anything like that. 

 

 That will give you chance to find out if he drinks and what he likes to drink. If he does drink, then maybe take him for a beer when the pubs are back. 

 

A condolences card may be your best option here. 

[The_DADDY 3,461]

On 18/04/2021 at 10:36, MJ01 said:

Have you checked that they aren't Quakers or Methodists or one of the other groups that eschews alcohol?

Hi MJ01. No they religious at all but after a quick look at the thread before I went shopping I noticed andyofborgs comment re alcohol and grief. I'll be honest I never considered that but it was a great point, also the guy is 80 and after speaking with a few neighbours I found he is actually on some sort of medication so me presenting him with booze may not have been a good idea. This is a valuable lesson for me to actually find stuff out before I go full steam ahead. In the end I went for a tasteful and rather lovely condolence card that I hope he will like. 

The funeral is tomorrow so I'll be dropping the card off tomorrow morning. I'd like to say thank you to everyone for your ideas and contributions. You've all been very helpful 🙏