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A Light Hearted Look At The Pandemic

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I saw this attempt to bring some humour into the current plight of the sad consequences associated with the coronavirus pandemic.  No upset or offence intended but hope it might provide some amusement.  Can the good folk on this forum think of any more?
 

A local bra manufacturer has gone bust,

A submarine company has gone under,

A manufacturer of food blenders has gone into liquidation

A dog kennel manufacturer has had to call in the retrievers

A company supplying paper for origami enthusiasts has folded,

The local paper hanger has gone to the wall.

The town crier has had to call it a day.

The suite shop is sofa so good

A yacht builder has closed due to lack of sails

A manufacturer of camouflage gear has disappeared.

A pudding makers business has crumbled.

The gardening company has had to put their workers out to grass.

The off-licence is now the licence

A brewers has dried up.

An accountant has lost his balance.

Life jacket manufacturers couldn’t stay afloat

The local train driver has gone off the rails

A loan shark has gone bust due to lack of interest

The library has been caught by Trading Standards for being fruity.

An electrician has gone part time as business was light

A ship builder is sinking

Limbo Dancers Ltd have just gone under

A local breast enhancing surgeon has gone tits up

The local car mechanic is on skid row

A man building yachts in his attic, the sails have gone through the roof

Local knickers manufacturers the bottoms fell out of the market.

Local bathroom installers gone down the pan.

A clairvoyant has given up the ghost

A water purification plant is going down the plughole

The window cleaner is shattered.

The new barber has had to cut his losses ..., hair today, gone tomorrow

The bra company went bust because it had no support

The paper shop has blown away.

The local barber isn't cutting hair any longer, he is cutting it shorter

A comedian has had his last laugh

Ski instructors are on a slippery slope.

The local bread maker has run out of dough

The undertakers made a dead loss

The ice cream manufacturer’s assets have been frozen

The Kodak film company is apparently filing for bankruptcy but we will pass on any further news as it develops

Chicken farm workers laid off

Hairdressers cutting costs

An electrician has blown his fuse

The plumber is feeling drained.

The builder has collapsed.

The local doctor has lost his patience.

The butcher has had the chop

The candle maker has liquidated

The local baths had to throw in the towel

Bookies gone to the dogs

Forestry Commission has no branch managers

Computer manufacturers are feeling the byte.

Stationers are stationary

Gardeners have gone to pot.

Window cleaner has sadly kicked the bucket

Shoemakers have popped their clogs

The cesspit cleaning man is in the sh*t.

The ceramicist has gone to pot.

A local ghost buster has the wiilies put up him

The dance instructor not getting enough turn around

The sandwich shop not earning enough bread

The local pub is calling time.

The florist is wilting.

The butcher has had to make cuts.

The radio company has just called in the receivers

My curtain shop has closed. And where I bought my big mirror has also gone but I guess that’s just a reflection of these times.

Reflection of the times is that mirror in the clock shop....

The council’s outsourced management company has gone into administration.

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The best line I've seen (from Twitter) was: If you think society is bad now, wait until 2040 when we’re governed by people who were home-schooled by day drinkers

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Story in today's 'i' newspaper that in the Czech Republic (Czechia), people attending nudists beaches have been told to wear face masks.

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Scotland think Corona virus is for softies and have their top scientists working on an Irn Bru virus.

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