Mental Health Help

[BobOfRoth 0]

1 hour ago, Lex Luthor said:

Hi Bob.

 

You're often in my thoughts during these trying times, as it is.  I hope you and your loved ones are all safe and well and that you're still managing to harness all that strength and positivity that you've been nurturing.

 

All the very best to you, mate 👍

Hi Lex, I hope you are well. Your timing is uncanny. I logged in with the intention of finding this thread to post a little positive news. As i said earlier in the thread ive been trying to gradually reduce my alcohol intake over time. Ive had my success and my failures but on the whole its been going in the right direction. The last 24 hours though i had a bit of a breakthrough and for the first time in I dont know when I had my first 100% sober day and night. I really did want a drink but i didnt have the physical need for it and so i just kept hanging on until i fell asleep in the chair and woke up today. I feel like ive taken my first big step and Im going to do my best to build on it but im not going to be too hard on myself if I do need a drink at some point, im just going to do what ever i can to make sure that doesn't happen. Not counting my chickens and all that lol.

Ill still be pursuing contact with CGL in case they can be of any help in the long term and I have a review with the nurse today so it will be nice to have some positive news for me to share and the kids noticed that I didnt drink yesterday and both have told me they are proud which is an incredible feeling. I really do feel like things are on the up and for the first time in a long time I woke up feeling positive, not hung over. Im not sure I could have done any of this without you and Sheffield forum. You guys really put me on the right track, gave me some great advice and you guys really do care. Without you lot im not sure i would be on the right path this soon. Thank you all but you in particular Lex. You are clearly a very special person and Id love to meet up with you one day and say thank you in person.

For now, Ill be building on the last 24 hours the best I can but to be honest im quite excited about the prospect of being alcohol free and not having to make sure there is booze in the house before I lock up at night. Thank you again all of you and Ill be posting more regular and also be keeping you updated about my progress.

Love Bob.

[Padders 2,840]

19 hours ago, BobOfRoth said:

Hi Lex, I hope you are well. Your timing is uncanny. I logged in with the intention of finding this thread to post a little positive news. As i said earlier in the thread ive been trying to gradually reduce my alcohol intake over time. Ive had my success and my failures but on the whole its been going in the right direction. The last 24 hours though i had a bit of a breakthrough and for the first time in I dont know when I had my first 100% sober day and night. I really did want a drink but i didnt have the physical need for it and so i just kept hanging on until i fell asleep in the chair and woke up today. I feel like ive taken my first big step and Im going to do my best to build on it but im not going to be too hard on myself if I do need a drink at some point, im just going to do what ever i can to make sure that doesn't happen. Not counting my chickens and all that lol.

Ill still be pursuing contact with CGL in case they can be of any help in the long term and I have a review with the nurse today so it will be nice to have some positive news for me to share and the kids noticed that I didnt drink yesterday and both have told me they are proud which is an incredible feeling. I really do feel like things are on the up and for the first time in a long time I woke up feeling positive, not hung over. Im not sure I could have done any of this without you and Sheffield forum. You guys really put me on the right track, gave me some great advice and you guys really do care. Without you lot im not sure i would be on the right path this soon. Thank you all but you in particular Lex. You are clearly a very special person and Id love to meet up with you one day and say thank you in person.

For now, Ill be building on the last 24 hours the best I can but to be honest im quite excited about the prospect of being alcohol free and not having to make sure there is booze in the house before I lock up at night. Thank you again all of you and Ill be posting more regular and also be keeping you updated about my progress.

Love Bob.

Well done Bob, keep it up , your doing fine.. keep posting 

[BobOfRoth 0]

11 hours ago, Padders said:

Well done Bob, keep it up , your doing fine.. keep posting 

Thank you Padders thats nice of you 🙂

My medical review with the nurse went well. Had bloods taken so i just have to wait and see but im confident they will be ok.

 

Im now on day 2 of No alcohol....

[Guest makapaka]

On 16/06/2020 at 13:18, BobOfRoth said:

Hi Lex, I hope you are well. Your timing is uncanny. I logged in with the intention of finding this thread to post a little positive news. As i said earlier in the thread ive been trying to gradually reduce my alcohol intake over time. Ive had my success and my failures but on the whole its been going in the right direction. The last 24 hours though i had a bit of a breakthrough and for the first time in I dont know when I had my first 100% sober day and night. I really did want a drink but i didnt have the physical need for it and so i just kept hanging on until i fell asleep in the chair and woke up today. I feel like ive taken my first big step and Im going to do my best to build on it but im not going to be too hard on myself if I do need a drink at some point, im just going to do what ever i can to make sure that doesn't happen. Not counting my chickens and all that lol.

Ill still be pursuing contact with CGL in case they can be of any help in the long term and I have a review with the nurse today so it will be nice to have some positive news for me to share and the kids noticed that I didnt drink yesterday and both have told me they are proud which is an incredible feeling. I really do feel like things are on the up and for the first time in a long time I woke up feeling positive, not hung over. Im not sure I could have done any of this without you and Sheffield forum. You guys really put me on the right track, gave me some great advice and you guys really do care. Without you lot im not sure i would be on the right path this soon. Thank you all but you in particular Lex. You are clearly a very special person and Id love to meet up with you one day and say thank you in person.

For now, Ill be building on the last 24 hours the best I can but to be honest im quite excited about the prospect of being alcohol free and not having to make sure there is booze in the house before I lock up at night. Thank you again all of you and Ill be posting more regular and also be keeping you updated about my progress.

Love Bob.

All the best Bob. Hope you’re ok 👍🏻 

[BobOfRoth 0]

13 hours ago, makapaka said:

All the best Bob. Hope you’re ok 👍🏻 

Thank you Makapaka. Thats nice of you to say. Ive got my fingers crossed. I dont know the last time I went for 3 days without a drink so Im really hopeful this is the start of something good 🙂

[Lex Luthor 10]

Wow!

 

  Uncanny?  Very!

 

Amazing?  Definitely! 

 

That's bloomin' awesome mate 😁 👏

 

What a triumph!  Congratulations!  That's some achievement, mate.  No wonder your kids are proud of you.  I'm proud of you.  I hope you're proud of you too.  That news was so good, I read it three times over!! 😁

 

It sounds like a very sensible approach you have.

 

Remember what you're feeling now, and how your kids can't hide their pride in you because that's like 'money in the bank' for any trying times.  

 

I was very touched by your kind words for me, and for the good folk of Sheffield Forum but it's you that's achieved this, don't forget that.  There's absolutely no need to thank me, in person, or otherwise but I like your suggestion of meeting up some time, preferably when all this social distancing malarkey is over, then I can shake your hand, pal.  You've been so brave in sharing your journey with us, I feel like the privileged one, just to be able to read your updates.  You are an inspiration.  

 

Take care

 

Love Lex

 

 

 

Edited June 19, 2020 by Lex Luthor

[BobOfRoth 0]

This is the most sober ive been in a little while now  Struggling to stay off the bottle and is hard. I made some good progress but I think the pressure if it all is getting too much.

Things seem to be falling apart at the seems. Im not sure im the dad my kids need I dont think Im equipped to cop0e with 2 children with special needs and physical disabilities. Im not blaimng them in any way but I am blaming me. We made good progress and it seemed things were good but not now. social services wont help and me and my kids are isolated again

I have a feeling the ex left me at the right time and now my kids have to deal with a drunk

i dont want to be one but i face factsIm a drunk

Sorry for wasting everyones time but Im still greatful for all of your efforts especially you Lex

Sorry

 

[Lex Luthor 10]

Hey, Bob. 

 

I'm really sorry to hear that things are not going well for you right now.

 

You're not wasting anyone's time.  There's no need for any apologies here.  Forummers have reached out to you because of your honesty and your strong desire and determination to not let this beat you.  We're here because we choose to be.  We can see that you are so much more than your problem.  You've not hoodwinked us, you've been very up front.  We're not going anywhere, either.

 

We all have our demons and we all know it's a lot tougher fighting on your own than it is knowing that other people are willing you on.  

 

Your kids obviously think the world of you, and they know you more than us.  They'll never give up on you, so don't you give up on you, either.

 

  You've come so far, and you've got the determination and character to go all the way.  Don't beat yourself up, or have a downer on yourself.  This is just the old you, battling with the new you, as it fears it's losing it's grip as you are breaking free from destructive behaviours and leaving the old Bob behind.  You have so much to be proud of.  You're not a drunk, you're a recovering alcoholic, and there is a difference.  Every so often, days, or even weeks, come along when we feel that whatever we do, events beyond our control seem to all be conspiring against us.  It's how we choose to react to these times that defines us.  Please allow yourself some breathing space and time to reflect on this with a rational approach.  It sounds like you are a very harsh critic of yourself, when what you really need right now is to be a better friend to yourself.  Imagine someone who loves you dearly and who is kind, is looking at your situation, wants to help you get through this.  What words would they be saying to you?  Please, really think about this for me, and write the words down.  

 

Now look at those words.  These are your words - words from the new Bob that is emerging; a Bob that's kinder to himself.   These are the words you need to hear right now.  Not the tainted old-style self-depricating, stuff that the old Bob is trying to sabotage your success with.  Don't try and face this all on your own.  Get the help you need, wherever you can, including from the support of forummers on here.  I'm not a professional, Bob, sadly, I have no training behind me to help you and I know that there are loads of people who are lots more knowledgeable than me who can help you more practically, and can point you in the direction of the proven successful resources that are available to offer you targeted support and assistance.

 

In my experience, it's very important not to let a temporary mood, or a temporary situation, cloud your judgement.  Whatever particular difficulties or hurdles you are experiencing right now, it's crucial to realise that the situation is temporary, it will pass, and it will get better.

 

Heaven knows, being a parent is one of the toughest challenges that anyone can face but being a parent of children with special needs and physical disabilities brings a different set of challenges.  That said, the rewards are also amongst the most beautiful.  I know I don't need to tell you this. 

 

Have you ever ventured in to the parenting and disability sections of the forum?  There are some very experienced and supportive members who may also be able to point you in the direction of valuable local resources.

 

Please keep checking in with us.  It is always good to hear from you and we think of you a lot.  We're not fairweather friends, we want to be here for you through the good and the bad.  It's crucial to keep talking.

 

Keep on going.  Things will soon look a lot brighter again. 😉🌞

[Padders 2,840]

3 hours ago, Lex Luthor said:

Hey, Bob. 

 

I'm really sorry to hear that things are not going well for you right now.

 

You're not wasting anyone's time.  There's no need for any apologies here.  Forummers have reached out to you because of your honesty and your strong desire and determination to not let this beat you.  We're here because we choose to be.  We can see that you are so much more than your problem.  You've not hoodwinked us, you've been very up front.  We're not going anywhere, either.

 

We all have our demons and we all know it's a lot tougher fighting on your own than it is knowing that other people are willing you on.  

 

Your kids obviously think the world of you, and they know you more than us.  They'll never give up on you, so don't you give up on you, either.

 

  You've come so far, and you've got the determination and character to go all the way.  Don't beat yourself up, or have a downer on yourself.  This is just the old you, battling with the new you, as it fears it's losing it's grip as you are breaking free from destructive behaviours and leaving the old Bob behind.  You have so much to be proud of.  You're not a drunk, you're a recovering alcoholic, and there is a difference.  Every so often, days, or even weeks, come along when we feel that whatever we do, events beyond our control seem to all be conspiring against us.  It's how we choose to react to these times that defines us.  Please allow yourself some breathing space and time to reflect on this with a rational approach.  It sounds like you are a very harsh critic of yourself, when what you really need right now is to be a better friend to yourself.  Imagine someone who loves you dearly and who is kind, is looking at your situation, wants to help you get through this.  What words would they be saying to you?  Please, really think about this for me, and write the words down.  

 

Now look at those words.  These are your words - words from the new Bob that is emerging; a Bob that's kinder to himself.   These are the words you need to hear right now.  Not the tainted old-style self-depricating, stuff that the old Bob is trying to sabotage your success with.  Don't try and face this all on your own.  Get the help you need, wherever you can, including from the support of forummers on here.  I'm not a professional, Bob, sadly, I have no training behind me to help you and I know that there are loads of people who are lots more knowledgeable than me who can help you more practically, and can point you in the direction of the proven successful resources that are available to offer you targeted support and assistance.

 

In my experience, it's very important not to let a temporary mood, or a temporary situation, cloud your judgement.  Whatever particular difficulties or hurdles you are experiencing right now, it's crucial to realise that the situation is temporary, it will pass, and it will get better.

 

Heaven knows, being a parent is one of the toughest challenges that anyone can face but being a parent of children with special needs and physical disabilities brings a different set of challenges.  That said, the rewards are also amongst the most beautiful.  I know I don't need to tell you this. 

 

Have you ever ventured in to the parenting and disability sections of the forum?  There are some very experienced and supportive members who may also be able to point you in the direction of valuable local resources.

 

Please keep checking in with us.  It is always good to hear from you and we think of you a lot.  We're not fairweather friends, we want to be here for you through the good and the bad.  It's crucial to keep talking.

 

Keep on going.  Things will soon look a lot brighter again. 😉🌞

Very good post Lex..

Thinking about you Bob.

[hillgirl 10]

5 hours ago, Padders said:

Very good post Lex..

Thinking about you Bob.

That is a very encouraging post Lex. You have supporters on here Bob, and we are 

sending good wishes to you too. Thank you Lex many others will have benefited from that message.

[Dardandec 32]

On 14/07/2020 at 22:44, BobOfRoth said:

This is the most sober ive been in a little while now  Struggling to stay off the bottle and is hard. I made some good progress but I think the pressure if it all is getting too much.

Things seem to be falling apart at the seems. Im not sure im the dad my kids need I dont think Im equipped to cop0e with 2 children with special needs and physical disabilities. Im not blaimng them in any way but I am blaming me. We made good progress and it seemed things were good but not now. social services wont help and me and my kids are isolated again

I have a feeling the ex left me at the right time and now my kids have to deal with a drunk

i dont want to be one but i face factsIm a drunk

Sorry for wasting everyones time but Im still greatful for all of your efforts especially you Lex

Sorry

 

You don't need to apologise for anything Bob. It's another day tomorrow, you do things in your own time mate, it will happen when you are ready, baby steps and all that, all the best.  

[catmiss 12]

Bob, I think you’re beating yourself up. Look at how much progress you’ve made despite the difficulties you face and the fact that you feel able to open up on here about your feelings  Look at your previous posts- when you’re climbing a mountain sometimes you take big steps forward and have a slide back. Get in touch with all the agencies you’re involved with and be as open with them as you’re on the forum-I’ve a feeling you put a brave face on. Good luck and keep in touch