Family Pickle

[davyboy 19]

Have you searched the net for organisations that can help?

[El Cid 220]

14 hours ago, Waj said:

I was asked to try and I did but with the same result. In my view this person has just washed their hands of their kids and moved on in life.

Have you actually had contact with them? Maybe if you search facebook or ask the Police for their where abouts.

[Halibut 12]

3 hours ago, JamesR123 said:

Be careful about being too honest.  Situations like this are very complicated, whereas children tend to simplify things.

 

A 10 year old will not be able to understand, for example, that there may be mental health issues involved, they will just see rejection.

I strongly disagree. Children are capable of understanding much more than you give them credit for.

Edited August 2, 2019 by Halibut

[Waj 0]

3 hours ago, El Cid said:

Have you actually had contact with them? Maybe if you search facebook or ask the Police for their where abouts.

No, Ive had no actual contact with the parent. Ive phoned a few times and left a some voicemails left it for a few days then I rang again and found my number blocked. I tried a different phone, left another voicemail then tried again to find that number now blocked too. I know where she lives so went round a few times but with no luck there either. All 3 kids have mobiles and I have since found that after they tried contact their numbers were then blocked too. The irritating thing for me and the distressing thing for the kids is the wayward parent likes very very close to the old family home so of course when ever they (the kids) are out and about they are constantly looking around and over their shoulder just in case they catch a glimpse.

Facebook draws a complete blank too.

TBH I think the poster Halibut was right about just being honest with the kids and seeing if that helps them move on or at least put it to the back of their minds for now.

2 hours ago, Halibut said:

I strongly disagree. Children are capable of understanding much more than you give them credit for.

I have a feeling you are probably spot on with this so Im going to chat to the family and arrange a day out, somewhere nice, somewhere familiar and then have a heart to heart with them

 

[Bargepole23 337]

8 hours ago, Halibut said:

I'd lay a tenner it is. Men are much more likely to leave their kids than women.

I'll take that bet. You owe me a tenner.

[Halibut 12]

1 hour ago, Bargepole23 said:

I'll take that bet. You owe me a tenner.

Don't be so absurd.

[Borista336 0]

On 02/08/2019 at 07:43, Halibut said:

I'd lay a tenner it is. Men are much more likely to leave their kids than women.

rubbish only yesterday a woman was convicted of murdering her kids because they interfered with her social life! 

https://www.theguardian.com/uk-news/2019/aug/02/louise-porton-jailed-for-life-for-murdering-young-daughters

men and women can be just as bad as each other.

[JamesR123 0]

15 minutes ago, Borista336 said:

rubbish only yesterday a woman was convicted of murdering her kids because they interfered with her social life! 

https://www.theguardian.com/uk-news/2019/aug/02/louise-porton-jailed-for-life-for-murdering-young-daughters

men and women can be just as bad as each other.

That doesn't change the fact that it is more often men that abandon their families than ladies.

[Halibut 12]

26 minutes ago, Borista336 said:

rubbish only yesterday a woman was convicted of murdering her kids because they interfered with her social life! 

https://www.theguardian.com/uk-news/2019/aug/02/louise-porton-jailed-for-life-for-murdering-young-daughters

men and women can be just as bad as each other.

JamesR123 beat me to it; you were arguing a point I hadn't made. I'm well aware that women can behave badly. My point was that when it comes to child abandonment, men are guilty more often than women.

[ANGELFIRE1 10]

Just tell them the TRUTH, if you know it for certain. 

 

Angel1.

[Bargepole23 337]

20 hours ago, Halibut said:

Don't be so absurd.

Less absurd than your uninformed assumptions, since proved wrong.

[zach 235]

22 hours ago, Waj said:

No, Ive had no actual contact with the parent. Ive phoned a few times and left a some voicemails left it for a few days then I rang again and found my number blocked. I tried a different phone, left another voicemail then tried again to find that number now blocked too. I know where she lives so went round a few times but with no luck there either. All 3 kids have mobiles and I have since found that after they tried contact their numbers were then blocked too. The irritating thing for me and the distressing thing for the kids is the wayward parent likes very very close to the old family home so of course when ever they (the kids) are out and about they are constantly looking around and over their shoulder just in case they catch a glimpse.

Facebook draws a complete blank too.

TBH I think the poster Halibut was right about just being honest with the kids and seeing if that helps them move on or at least put it to the back of their minds for now.

I have a feeling you are probably spot on with this so Im going to chat to the family and arrange a day out, somewhere nice, somewhere familiar and then have a heart to heart with them

 

Sometimes mate, you just need to take a step back and let things take their course. Family problems can be very complex and in some cases you don't get all the information.

 

I agree with what Halibut said. Children have a lot more understanding than some give them credit for. I would explain to them what is going on but keep it simple and honest.