Whos Going To Be The New Swfc Manager? Garry Monk appointed.

[Brooker11 10]

2 hours ago, zakes said:

Who's going to be the new swfc manager?                                                   

 

 

A lighthearted view. Nothing to get worked up about.

 

 

 

Despite doing a fine job in steadying the sampan at gillsborough in a short space of time, Steve Bruce is now being railed by ungrateful owls fans, here on Sheffield Forum. The only 'crime' Pork Pie Steve has committed is to move to a bigger and better club...Spewcastle United. Porky Steve has got form in jumping ship, so sheffield wednesday should have taken that into account afore employing him in the first plaice. A tiresome Forum owl who demanded that Mr Bruce be given the job, is now demanding that Big Sam Alacarte be given the job as manager at gillsborough.

 

To prevent owls fans from further misery, which they would get under big Sam, I have decided to apply for the vacancy as manager. If I'm successful in my application, I will be taking as my number two a man with an excellent knowledge of football...Ridgewalk. Mr Ridgewalk will be replacing Lee Bullneck, who has been part of the problem whilst working with wednesday's previous managers. My next move will be to ban owls 'hero' Brian Laws from further commentating on match days, what an embarrassing, jinxing, trunt he is.

 

 

Below, please read my letter of application.

 

 

 

To the secretary,

sheffield wednesday football club unlimited,

hillsborough,

Nr.Sheffield.

 

 

Dear Sir,

 

I understand from reading the latest issue of Floodlight News, that you are now in search of a new first team manager.

 

 

I'm your man, no question.

 

 

It is true that I have no experience at managing a professional football team but then again, neither had Chris Wilder before he took on his first job and he hasn't done too badly, has he?

 

Johnny Cruyff, Rod Atkinson, Kenny Keegan, Keith Dalglish, they all had to start somewhere.

 

It is also true that I have never played professional football, but I did once score six goals playing for Birley County School against Markland school, in Creswell, in the mid 60's, after which even our poxy-eyed headmaster was heard to say: "The boy done well."

 

This, I was led to understand, was an all-time school record. Our team sometimes went half a season without scoring so many.

 

Hand on heart, I must admit that two of the goals were on the iffy side, or even on the offy side, another was slightly mis-hit, and the Markland goalie wasn't at his absolute best that day, but a record's a record.

 

I should perhaps warn you that if I get the job I shall only be able to work afternoons. I like to have a lie-in seven mornings a week, but if the buses are on time, I could be down at the ground for half past one or two most days. If need be, you could send one of your club owned taxi's to pick me up.

 

And I might not be able to get to all the team's matches if, for example, it's my wife's birthday, or there's something special I want to see on TV, or if there's a quiz on at the pub up the road. But I'll try to be there.

 

 

I'm very good at handling the media. I'm on personal terms with quite a lot of them, and I know all their favourite tipples, so nudge-nudge, nuff said, there'll be no problems on the publicity front. My number two and I will soon have the club back to where it truly belongs. The sardines also taste salty in foggy Fleetwood, and even in murky Morecambe.

 

One other thing: I'm very reasonable. Take the lowest offer you get from anybody else, and however many thousands of pounds he's asking per week, I'll do it for half as many.

 

You can't say fairer than that, can you?

 

 

 

Yours most sportingly.

Zakerious Zakes.

Don't know how long it took to type that but your never gonna get that time back, PBA sufferers would keep a straight face thru that.

[Ontarian1981 10]

16 minutes ago, Brooker11 said:

Don't know how long it took to type that but your never gonna get that time back, PBA sufferers would keep a straight face thru that.

That was only a short story, a kind of novella , in comparison to Zakes' other posts. 😉

[Brooker11 10]

Just now, Ontarian1981 said:

That was only a short story, a kind of novella , in comparison to Zakes' other posts. 😉

I'm glad I missed the other one, is it equally unfunny?

[Ontarian1981 10]

1 minute ago, Brooker11 said:

I'm glad I missed the other one, is it equally unfunny?

There is a lot more than one.Lol.

Edited July 18, 2019 by Ontarian1981

[Brooker11 10]

6 minutes ago, Ontarian1981 said:

There is a lot more than one.Lol.

Thanks for the tip off lol 

[ThatYank 10]

Funny stuff Brooker. Thanks for the Laugh. 

[Ridgewalk 96]

9 hours ago, zakes said:

Who's going to be the new swfc manager?                                                   

 

 

A lighthearted view. Nothing to get worked up about.

 

 

 

Despite doing a fine job in steadying the sampan at gillsborough in a short space of time, Steve Bruce is now being railed by ungrateful owls fans, here on Sheffield Forum. The only 'crime' Pork Pie Steve has committed is to move to a bigger and better club...Spewcastle United. Porky Steve has got form in jumping ship, so sheffield wednesday should have taken that into account afore employing him in the first plaice. A tiresome Forum owl who demanded that Mr Bruce be given the job, is now demanding that Big Sam Alacarte be given the job as manager at gillsborough.

 

To prevent owls fans from further misery, which they would get under big Sam, I have decided to apply for the vacancy as manager. If I'm successful in my application, I will be taking as my number two a man with an excellent knowledge of football...Ridgewalk. Mr Ridgewalk will be replacing Lee Bullneck, who has been part of the problem whilst working with wednesday's previous managers. My next move will be to ban owls 'hero' Brian Laws from further commentating on match days, what an embarrassing, jinxing, trunt he is.

 

 

Below, please read my letter of application.

 

 

 

To the secretary,

sheffield wednesday football club unlimited,

hillsborough,

Nr.Sheffield.

 

 

Dear Sir,

 

I understand from reading the latest issue of Floodlight News, that you are now in search of a new first team manager.

 

 

I'm your man, no question.

 

 

It is true that I have no experience at managing a professional football team but then again, neither had Chris Wilder before he took on his first job and he hasn't done too badly, has he?

 

Johnny Cruyff, Rod Atkinson, Kenny Keegan, Keith Dalglish, they all had to start somewhere.

 

It is also true that I have never played professional football, but I did once score six goals playing for Birley County School against Markland school, in Creswell, in the mid 60's, after which even our poxy-eyed headmaster was heard to say: "The boy done well."

 

This, I was led to understand, was an all-time school record. Our team sometimes went half a season without scoring so many.

 

Hand on heart, I must admit that two of the goals were on the iffy side, or even on the offy side, another was slightly mis-hit, and the Markland goalie wasn't at his absolute best that day, but a record's a record.

 

I should perhaps warn you that if I get the job I shall only be able to work afternoons. I like to have a lie-in seven mornings a week, but if the buses are on time, I could be down at the ground for half past one or two most days. If need be, you could send one of your club owned taxi's to pick me up.

 

And I might not be able to get to all the team's matches if, for example, it's my wife's birthday, or there's something special I want to see on TV, or if there's a quiz on at the pub up the road. But I'll try to be there.

 

 

I'm very good at handling the media. I'm on personal terms with quite a lot of them, and I know all their favourite tipples, so nudge-nudge, nuff said, there'll be no problems on the publicity front. My number two and I will soon have the club back to where it truly belongs. The sardines also taste salty in foggy Fleetwood, and even in murky Morecambe.

 

One other thing: I'm very reasonable. Take the lowest offer you get from anybody else, and however many thousands of pounds he's asking per week, I'll do it for half as many.

 

You can't say fairer than that, can you?

 

 

 

Yours most sportingly.

Zakerious Zakes.

Thank you Zak. I'll give my all to help Wednesday out. I'm most concerned about the direction that the club has taken, especially since Mr Wilder has been in charge at Bramall Lane,  which has only served to highlight the failings at S6. 

 

I'm sure BIG Chansiri would welcome our input. For the record I once scored 4 for St. Dominic's school around 1965. I know that's not a brilliant CV but I can make that up with PASHUN I feel for the club.

 

Ready to start as and when

 

GO YOU OWLS

 

hoot hoot

[bassett one 449]

its hard to put a bet on with no manager,we are 20/1 to win the league or 13/2 to gain promotion 

leeds 5/1 to win the league others to win are fulham 15/2 west brom 10/1 cardiff 11/1 stoke 12/1 middlesbrough 14/1 brentford 16/1 as are forrest,sheff utd 2000/1 to win league or 4/6 to go down,are we going up?

[Padders 2,849]

13 hours ago, zakes said:

Who's going to be the new swfc manager?                                                   

 

 

A lighthearted view. Nothing to get worked up about.

 

 

 

Despite doing a fine job in steadying the sampan at gillsborough in a short space of time, Steve Bruce is now being railed by ungrateful owls fans, here on Sheffield Forum. The only 'crime' Pork Pie Steve has committed is to move to a bigger and better club...Spewcastle United. Porky Steve has got form in jumping ship, so sheffield wednesday should have taken that into account afore employing him in the first plaice. A tiresome Forum owl who demanded that Mr Bruce be given the job, is now demanding that Big Sam Alacarte be given the job as manager at gillsborough.

 

To prevent owls fans from further misery, which they would get under big Sam, I have decided to apply for the vacancy as manager. If I'm successful in my application, I will be taking as my number two a man with an excellent knowledge of football...Ridgewalk. Mr Ridgewalk will be replacing Lee Bullneck, who has been part of the problem whilst working with wednesday's previous managers. My next move will be to ban owls 'hero' Brian Laws from further commentating on match days, what an embarrassing, jinxing, trunt he is.

 

 

Below, please read my letter of application.

 

 

 

To the secretary,

sheffield wednesday football club unlimited,

hillsborough,

Nr.Sheffield.

 

 

Dear Sir,

 

I understand from reading the latest issue of Floodlight News, that you are now in search of a new first team manager.

 

 

I'm your man, no question.

 

 

It is true that I have no experience at managing a professional football team but then again, neither had Chris Wilder before he took on his first job and he hasn't done too badly, has he?

 

Johnny Cruyff, Rod Atkinson, Kenny Keegan, Keith Dalglish, they all had to start somewhere.

 

It is also true that I have never played professional football, but I did once score six goals playing for Birley County School against Markland school, in Creswell, in the mid 60's, after which even our poxy-eyed headmaster was heard to say: "The boy done well."

 

This, I was led to understand, was an all-time school record. Our team sometimes went half a season without scoring so many.

 

Hand on heart, I must admit that two of the goals were on the iffy side, or even on the offy side, another was slightly mis-hit, and the Markland goalie wasn't at his absolute best that day, but a record's a record.

 

I should perhaps warn you that if I get the job I shall only be able to work afternoons. I like to have a lie-in seven mornings a week, but if the buses are on time, I could be down at the ground for half past one or two most days. If need be, you could send one of your club owned taxi's to pick me up.

 

And I might not be able to get to all the team's matches if, for example, it's my wife's birthday, or there's something special I want to see on TV, or if there's a quiz on at the pub up the road. But I'll try to be there.

 

 

I'm very good at handling the media. I'm on personal terms with quite a lot of them, and I know all their favourite tipples, so nudge-nudge, nuff said, there'll be no problems on the publicity front. My number two and I will soon have the club back to where it truly belongs. The sardines also taste salty in foggy Fleetwood, and even in murky Morecambe.

 

One other thing: I'm very reasonable. Take the lowest offer you get from anybody else, and however many thousands of pounds he's asking per week, I'll do it for half as many.

 

You can't say fairer than that, can you?

 

 

 

Yours most sportingly.

Zakerious Zakes.

Dear Mr Zakes.

 

Thank you for your interest in the position of managing Sheff Wednesday football club.

Your goal scoring record for Birley County is as impressive as it can get,

Your willingness to attend Hillsboro whenever you can make it is another huge asset,

However myself and the board feel you are massively over qualified for this position,

If the opportunity was to arise, you could jump ship, and like our previous manager leave for a bigger club, such as Aldershot, Barnet, or Barrow.

I have to tell you, the club are in advanced talks with a couple of Bramall Ln. stalwarts ...

Brian the Blade and his assistant 2-1 Ken.

After watching the Blades for many years, we believe these two have a wealth of experience to bring to the club, and have all the qualifications to take us down to the next level.

Thank you for your interest in our super club, and we wish you well in your quest for a management career.

 

Yours in sport.

DEJPHON CHANSIRI.

[Man in Crete 101]

ha ha brilliant the two of you....about time someone brought some humour to this site rather than the constant bickering from some folk...more power to you elboe

[Ridgewalk 96]

1 hour ago, Man in Crete said:

ha ha brilliant the two of you....about time someone brought some humour to this site rather than the constant bickering from some folk...more power to you elboe

Humour, humour, these are serious proposals. I have every confidence in Zakes and I will give him my full support.

 

His Chris Wilder to my Alan Knill.

 

Ridgewalk, prospective Wednesday assistant manager.

 

Save Our Owls

[redbig 10]

Daniel Stendel (?) rumoured to be in the running