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Getting help for someone with depression

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Hi there. I have a friend who is struggling a bit these days. He has had a lot on his plate the last couple of years and its taken its toll on his mental health. His doctor is worse than useless, unsympathetic and very unhelpful but he recently went to IAPT who stated he is severely depressed. He has two dependants (one a minor and one a disabled child aged over 18) and is getting increasingly anxious that his health is starting to affect his care of them. I know its not, he is a good dad but its a worry in his mind and so is adding to his woes. He is finding it increasingly difficult to get any sleep and has confided in me that he is so anxious he has started picking at his skin in various places. He says that whilst he knows this isn't a good thing it does give him a temporary feeling of relief. To compound matters other than myself he and his dependants are rather socially isolated and have no real extended family to call on for help. Is there anything I can do for him? I don't live near him, I am staying local for the bank holiday but then we go back home and I am worried about him when we leave.

Will IAPT help him or is there anyone else I may be able to contact on his behalf in order to get some help?

I do have more information but did not want to post everything in a single post as it would be quite lengthy so If anyone needs to know anything just ask.

 

Thank you.

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IAPT stands for Improved Access to Psychology Therapies, if they have accepted the referral from the G.P, they should be providing the service.

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In addition to counselling, it sounds like he needs some urgent practical help and support to continue caring  for his children.  Being a carer is really stressful, particularly if there is no support. Do you know if he has had a carers assessment?  If not then telephone the social services and ask for an urgent one. They might offer a telephone assessment, in which case say that he needs a home visit. He should also be entered onto the emergency carers  scheme if the local authority has one.  Please tell him not to be anxious about this - nobody is going to take his children away.  They will want to enable him to continue caring for them by putting in support services.  Please tell him that he is not alone - many carers have similar problems. Accepting help is the first step to coping and making some sort of recovery.

BTW I believe that one can self refer to IAPT - AFAIK you don't need a GP referral. 

Edited by Jomie

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https://sheffieldcarers.org.uk/ is very helpful in supporting people in this situation - their rights etc, people to talk to and how to access help, legal problems etc. Register as a carer too. 

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Is there an organisation called m.i.n.d  that can help as well ? 

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2 hours ago, rudds1 said:

Is there an organisation called m.i.n.d  that can help as well ? 

There is. 

Sheffield has a branch of MIND in Sharrow. It provides information, support and counselling. 

https://www.sheffieldmind.co.uk/

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IAPT works for some people, but not everyone. However, an IAPT assessment also acts as a triage assessment and it can happen that someone who is not suitable for IAPT gets offered something else having had their IAPT assessment, so it's worth going for that. NICE guidelines are that GPs should try talking therapy before medication, but this doesn't prevent GPs prescribing anti-depressants at the same time as referring to IAPT, but some GPs are overly rigid in their application of NICE guidance. Again, standard anti-depressants (SSRIs) aren't particularly effective for everyone but work for some and it is worth considering them. A recent study of SSRIs found them to be more effective than previously thought. Also, there are many people with depression who know what they should be doing in their life to improve their mood, but can't summon the motivation to do these things because of the depression, so starting on medication can give people that initial lift which means they can then follow through on the non-medical things that help to improve and maintain mood.

 

I resisted trying anti-depressants for a long time, but then it started to get too much and I figured that if I never tried them then I'd never know if they would work for me, so I gave them a go. And they have worked really well for me. I got lucky first time, some people have to try a succession of different SSRIs before they find one that works, some never find one that really works, but I would say it's worth a try. Side effects can be difficult for the first 2 - 3 weeks, and most people won't start to feel much benefit until 4 - 6 weeks in, so that initial period is difficult and it's good to have support from others and an understanding employer at that point.

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There are some very good and knowledgable replies in this thread.

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Thank you all for your replies. Some really useful stuff here so thank you. I passed on the recommendations for social services but when I did the stuff hit the fan. Unbeknown to myself over the last couple of years Social services has been the biggest worry. He went to them when he started feeling really unwell, yeah, Ii had no idea it had been going on so long so feel quite guilt I missed the signs but his health has been on a downward spiral for much longer than I though. Anyway, he went to social services for help but instead of getting help he got a worker who made several false allegations about him, got his kid on the at risk register and he was one step away from losing his child to the courts. Thankfully a good solicitor who showed the workers allegations to be false managed to stop the proceeding. He made a complaint about the social services employee and instead of getting satisfaction he got another worker who repeated almost word for word the same provably false allegations. His solicitor is on it again but this has had a huge impact in all their lives and after hearing this I feel there could be a good chance his dealings with social services have left him in a worse state than he ever would have been without their involvement. Hopefully the IAPT route is the was to go so thank you for clarifying exactly what they do. He has another appointment in a week or so but he feels he needs to see them sooner so Ill be ringing them tomorrow for him.

Regarding sheffieldmind and sheffieldcarers he actually lives in Rotherham. Are there similar things there?

Big thanks again everyone.

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