Feeling very lonely.

[Laurarose27 0]

I have lived back in Sheffield for the past year and a half from living in Cardiff for 5 years, where I worked and did an Open University course and before that I lived here in Sheffield.

 

When I moved back I decided that I should go to a brick university to study a degree that I really wanted to do, which was Graphics Design. I had to start from the very bottom and I completed a foundation year in Art and Design, I really enjoyed it and I met a few people and got along with them, a few were my age (I'm 27).

 

However, since I got onto the Graphics Design Degree, I have nothing in common with any of the other students. I have only just started talking to one because she is older than me.  I find it extremely difficult to want to do anything outside of university, mainly because I don't get on with anyone and the fact that I have medical conditions including mental health issues (biggest one being social anxiety) I have Fibromygalia, chronic fatigue, functional episodic neurological symptom disorder, along with anxiety, social anxiety, PTSD, depression and most likely others due to trauma and severe bullying I endured throughout school and work. Instead of being physically bullied in work, I was treated like the 'class clown' and I was teased alot about the way I acted and sound until one day on a team night out at a weatherspoons I had a shot glass thrown at me for sticking up for myself because a work mate mocked me. 

 

I find it extremely difficult to trust people and I feel like I am not the sort of person that people would want to be friends with. I have had friends in the past but I realised that the reason why they are friends with me is because I am there, I know this because no one wanted to do anything outside of school and work apart from 3 friends I made but they have started to talk to me less and less now.

 

I remember one time that I was in college, I got the bus back home with 2 other 'friends' as we all got the same bus. They had a discussion about wanting to go into town and they never bothered to ask me to come. There was another time that a friend wanted to hang out and stay out, obviously I thought great, someone actually want to hang out with me, but then I realised that she wanted to stay over because she was going to meet a guy in the area. 

 

The only true friend I had, ended up using me and wanted to visit me because she wanted to escape from her children and husband so she could go out to get drunk. 

 

So at the moment, I feel that I have zero friends and the only friend I feel I have is my husband and it took me years to get over the fact that he will never want to hurt me. It is so difficult to try and write this without wanting to cry, I just don't know what to do about this. My mental health is too bad at the moment to the point that I feel that everyone around me apart from my family secretly hates me.

 

:(

[Waldo 96]

Everyone will give you different advice Laura, depending on their point of view and life experience. I hope you find value, if not in my post, in someone's...

 

For me, I find the most significant important relationship in life, is the one I have with myself. Appreciation and love for yourself; that's so very important in life, and something we need to cultivate/nurture. Ironically. it's often when we feel low or isolated, that we look for nourishment outside of ourselves, usually in other people. There's just something futile and just so wrong about trying to find fulfilment and happiness in things external to us. It's like we're looking for love and acceptance from others, while we're not truely loving and accepting ourselves.

 

Maybe try to focus more on yourself? So, appreciate and contemplate what you cherish and love about you. The hurdles you've overcome in life, your little quirks, your unique way of looking at the world. Do stuff that you love and fulfils you. Be kind to other people, but at the same time, stuff em! If they resonate with and like you, they'll hang around, if not, that's cool too, but always try to have kindness in your heart for people who don't gel with you and don't want to be your friend. It's all cool, we're all different people and it's perfectly natural for some people to resonate more with us that others.

 

Maon thing though, love yourself, and fill up from the inside. Good luck. x

[ohkay 10]

That is so what I was trying to say. Respect to you Waldo.

 

[Ms Macbeth 73]

Spot on Waldo.  

[tzijlstra 11]

Laura, am I right in thinking you are still at Uni? Reach out to the Wellbeing team. At the University where I work we have an excellent mental health team that will offer counselling or even CBT if needed. Also, I don't know if you are on Twitter, but there is a good movement there of Fibromyalgia sufferers that use Twitter to share experiences. https://twitter.com/search?q=%23Fibromyalgia&src=tyah

 

 

[gene 10]

http://www.sheffieldmegroup.co.uk/ join this group who may help - deals with fibromyalgia and ME. With your skills it could be that you could help them too. I know how devastating FMS can be having had it for well over 30 yrs. Keep strong and try joining the group.  Best wishes 

PS it is their social on Tuesday PM - I am sure they will make you welcome. Unfortunately I can't make it. CHRISTMAS SOCIAL MEETING
With buffet, bingo, quiz and raffle 2pm

Edited December 9, 2018 by gene
added info

[Laurarose27 0]

Thanks everyone.

 

It just feels like my mental health is going down pretty fast if I am being honest. Since my wedding, my old friends haven't really spoken to me (they are in wales) and I now feel like they only really kept in touch with me because they were invited and that was just over a month ago now. 

 

I know I already lost one friend because she stopped talking to me as she couldn't be happy for me getting married (she was engaged too and that relationship broke down because it was a mess) But I can't help but think that if it was one of our other friends, it would be a different matter. 

10 hours ago, tzijlstra said:

Laura, am I right in thinking you are still at Uni? Reach out to the Wellbeing team. At the University where I work we have an excellent mental health team that will offer counselling or even CBT if needed. Also, I don't know if you are on Twitter, but there is a good movement there of Fibromyalgia sufferers that use Twitter to share experiences. https://twitter.com/search?q=%23Fibromyalgia&src=tyah

 

 

I am, Sheffield Hallam. I have joined them but they don't have any appointments, so I am going to have to keep checking everyday. 

 

8 hours ago, gene said:

http://www.sheffieldmegroup.co.uk/ join this group who may help - deals with fibromyalgia and ME. With your skills it could be that you could help them too. I know how devastating FMS can be having had it for well over 30 yrs. Keep strong and try joining the group.  Best wishes 

PS it is their social on Tuesday PM - I am sure they will make you welcome. Unfortunately I can't make it. CHRISTMAS SOCIAL MEETING
With buffet, bingo, quiz and raffle 2pm

Thanks, I will definitely join them. 

[janie48 95]

Wishing you well and at peace Laurarose. 

[Guest]

On 12/8/2018 at 9:46 PM, Laurarose27 said:

I have lived back in Sheffield for the past year and a half from living in Cardiff for 5 years, where I worked and did an Open University course and before that I lived here in Sheffield.

 

When I moved back I decided that I should go to a brick university to study a degree that I really wanted to do, which was Graphics Design. I had to start from the very bottom and I completed a foundation year in Art and Design, I really enjoyed it and I met a few people and got along with them, a few were my age (I'm 27).

 

However, since I got onto the Graphics Design Degree, I have nothing in common with any of the other students. I have only just started talking to one because she is older than me.  I find it extremely difficult to want to do anything outside of university, mainly because I don't get on with anyone and the fact that I have medical conditions including mental health issues (biggest one being social anxiety) I have Fibromygalia, chronic fatigue, functional episodic neurological symptom disorder, along with anxiety, social anxiety, PTSD, depression and most likely others due to trauma and severe bullying I endured throughout school and work. Instead of being physically bullied in work, I was treated like the 'class clown' and I was teased alot about the way I acted and sound until one day on a team night out at a weatherspoons I had a shot glass thrown at me for sticking up for myself because a work mate mocked me. 

 

I find it extremely difficult to trust people and I feel like I am not the sort of person that people would want to be friends with. I have had friends in the past but I realised that the reason why they are friends with me is because I am there, I know this because no one wanted to do anything outside of school and work apart from 3 friends I made but they have started to talk to me less and less now.

 

I remember one time that I was in college, I got the bus back home with 2 other 'friends' as we all got the same bus. They had a discussion about wanting to go into town and they never bothered to ask me to come. There was another time that a friend wanted to hang out and stay out, obviously I thought great, someone actually want to hang out with me, but then I realised that she wanted to stay over because she was going to meet a guy in the area. 

 

The only true friend I had, ended up using me and wanted to visit me because she wanted to escape from her children and husband so she could go out to get drunk. 

 

So at the moment, I feel that I have zero friends and the only friend I feel I have is my husband and it took me years to get over the fact that he will never want to hurt me. It is so difficult to try and write this without wanting to cry, I just don't know what to do about this. My mental health is too bad at the moment to the point that I feel that everyone around me apart from my family secretly hates me.

 

My wife has the really nice "girl crew" with girls of all ages, PM in you are interested, Il give you her number.

They are mainly doing pub quiz, cinema, walking,  gathering etc.

[pattricia 574]

I think you have done very well to do an Open University degree and a graphic design degree and suffer with fibromyalgia as well. 

[El Cid 212]

I thought this was very interesting. It relates to young people being in a different world, one where they are on their smartphone 24/7 and alone, where they get less exercise and where they might be on the autism spectrum and socially awkward.

 

 

[janie48 95]

6 hours ago, El Cid said:

I thought this was very interesting. It relates to young people being in a different world, one where they are on their smartphone 24/7 and alone, where they get less exercise and where they might be on the autism spectrum and socially awkward.

 

 

Though I haven't had time to watch it all yet I can tell from hearing the first few minutes that's its going to be of interest. 

 

In relation to young teens and the Internet, I've just been watching something quite distressing reported on the the BBC news regarding social media in which Instagram has been highly criticised. 

I won't go into detail  about the subject because this isn't the thread to do  so,  but I am quite concerned about what impressionable young people are being exposed to online. 

 

Edited January 23, 2019 by janie48