Brother is a drug addict

[dinofan 10]

My brother is 38 and lost 4 stone in weight. He's taking strong drugs (Crack). He looks like a skeleton i want to help him but he doesn't seem to want to get help.

 

He's spent 9000 pounds in 2 month. He got 50,000 but now has 41,000 left.

 

Is there any other way I can help. Get him into rehab before he blows all his money?

[Top Cats Hat 10]

My brother is 38 and lost 4 stone in weight. He's taking strong drugs (Crack). He looks like a skeleton i want to help him but he doesn't seem to want to get help.

 

He's spent 9000 pounds in 2 month. He got 50,000 but now has 41,000 left.

 

Is there any other way I can help. Get him into rehab before he blows all his money?

 

How bad is he?

 

I'm not trying to be funny here but if he's really bad and what you are worried about is him having the finance to feed his habit,* tell him that you know someone who has 'come across' a kilo and a half of crack and will let you have it for £40K. Then stick the dough in a high interest savings account until he sorts himself out.

 

He'll thank you for it.

 

(*and I doubt he has spent 4.5K a month. If he has, then he's buying his crackhead mates their gear too.)

[Phanerothyme 12]

I don't think £4.5K a month is unreasonable - a heavy user certainly, but well within the performance envelope of a well habituated addict.

 

Sebastian Horsely was going through £500 a day at the height of his addiction.

 

In all seriousness, unless he wants to go into rehabilitation, you will have a hard time forcing him to do it.

 

You can get professional advice, and that would be my advice to you. There are lots of organisations ready to help if they can - literally, if you google "my brother is a drug addict help uk" this is the first result and it seems like a good jumping off point.

 

https://www.mind.org.uk/information-support/guides-to-support-and-services/addiction-and-dependency/

[dinofan 10]

He got 50k inheritance in August and he has blown 9k. He has been diagnosed with type1 Bipolar and ADHD, he's waiting to the mental health team for his meds.

[bendix 10]

How bad is he?

 

I'm not trying to be funny here but if he's really bad and what you are worried about is him having the finance to feed his habit,* tell him that you know someone who has 'come across' a kilo and a half of crack and will let you have it for £40K. Then stick the dough in a high interest savings account until he sorts himself out.

 

He'll thank you for it.

 

(*and I doubt he has spent 4.5K a month. If he has, then he's buying his crackhead mates their gear too.)

 

 

I could be wrong, but I'm not sure many crackheads would hand over £40,000 to a sibling for a supply of drugs, unless of course the OP looks like Pablo Escobar.

 

What you're proposing is pure fantasy.

 

It's hard to see what the OP can do. If he is mentally ill, then an approach to social services etc might be appropriate, it's hard to know what they could do. You can't make the guy seek help against his will, and any approach to the police would only mean he ends up in prison, getting stoned on spice instead of crack.

[tlangdon12 13]

I think you need to push him towards rehab at every opportunity, but also take the time to listen to him, and try to get him to talk about why he wants to take drugs. He may not be ready to go into rehab for a long time, but if you keep talking to him you may get through to him.

 

You might offer to him help to manage his money. He may be prepared to let you look after a proportion of his inheritance so long as he feels he will have enough to feed his habit.

 

You might ask him what is he going to do when the money runs out.

[boringal 10]

speaking on personal experience, he needs to see whats happening around him, with his lifestyle having a big effect on his family and friends, while hes got easy money that wont happen, I would suggest get the 40k away from him somehow, the remove any thing of value from your house and his, as he WILL pinch it and WILL sell it, when theres no cash left and nothing to pinch no bank cards to get money from [your bank card not his] then he might start looking at his life,

tough love is the quickest answer I can give, we had the problem for ten years with weed [that people say isn't a problem] my friends son was a drug addict for twenty years before he got straight , and I no more, and there familys all say the same about tough love, you have to do it, its hard but do it and stick to it, basically get him to rock bottom as quick as you can and remember its the drugs you are fighting and not him, the scumbag dealers should live with an addict then theyed probably stop dealing

[Waldo 96]

Does he want to:

 

a) Go in to rehab now, while he still has 41k in the bank (can look forward to using when he's recovered).

b) Go in to rehab later, after he's invested his remaining 41k (so, another 9 months perhaps) on self-destruction?

c) Not go in to rehab at all, and possibly die as a result of his habit?

 

Stark choices, maybe it would help to present those options to him?

 

I know it must be a very delicate situation, and I hope the OP can find the best most effective way to get through to and help his brother. At the same time, we are not responsible for other people, and if they're dead set on a path of self destruction and don't want to stop, I can't see much we can do; other than trying to get them to open up about how they feel about their situation, and what they want to happen.

 

I'd also be thinking, get professional help and advice, from people who have experience and have already helped others in a similar position.

Edited November 5, 2018 by Waldo

[Phanerothyme 12]

Does he want to:

 

a) Go in to rehab now, while he still has 41k in the bank (can look forward to using when he's recovered).

b) Go in to rehab later, after he's invested his remaining 41k (so, another 9 months perhaps) on self-destruction?

c) Not go in to rehab at all, and possibly die as a result of his habit?

 

Stark choices, maybe it would help to present those options to him?

 

What he "wants" is likely to be strongly affected by his addiction. Cocaine, especially freebase, puts deep hooks into its users and completely takes over the dopaminergic reward system. What the user then "wants" is anything that will bring them closer to another dose.

 

This gives the user the power to rationalise any behaviour or action, no matter how despicable and anithetical it might be to their original character.

 

Get professional help!

[Broakham 10]

If the OPs brother also has mental health issues, is it not legally possible for someone to take control of his finances on the grounds of reduced mental capacity?

[Waldo 96]

What he "wants" is likely to be strongly affected by his addiction. Cocaine, especially freebase, puts deep hooks into its users and completely takes over the dopaminergic reward system. What the user then "wants" is anything that will bring them closer to another dose.

 

It can't hurt to present options to a user; and try to get them to consider the likely unpleasant consequences of their actions.

 

I'm sure you're right though, rational argument isn't going to have as much influence over them, as the drug will.

 

Get professional help!

 

Completely agree.

 

How does that usually play out though? Presumably a user doesn't want professional help; so in one way or another, you're forcing it on them.

[petemcewan 27]

He needs professional help immediately. You can't do it by yourself.

The drugs impact on the mental condition of the individual-and their ability to make rational judgements.

A person in that condition is easily taken advantage of.

Rehab is essential.

I sincerely hope things work out well. It's a long road back to mental and physical health-and sometimes the individual falls back into old habits.

Edited November 5, 2018 by petemcewan