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Poem Ah Gym Lad

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He sports a manly torso

like Rambo only more so,

has weightlifters shoulders,

hands like boulders,

he’s bull necked,

as you’d expect

and proudly etched

in letters stretched

across his chest

on a sleeveless vest

the name of the gym

which created him.


A shaven head is perched atop

this keenly muscled outcrop -

a head of great immensity

of an unsurprising density.


He’s very keen to say

you must sign up today.

By toiling in the gym

you too could look like him!


He’s proud of his physique,

but scornful of the weak,

anyone not pumped

ignored or quickly dumped -

an inferior being

to his way of seeing.


But he chooses to ignore

one large apparent flaw:


After starting this way

he just… dwindles away.

He doesn’t continue

the muscle and sinew

but tapers from burly

into eight year old girly -

his legs being short

and the spindly sort

with improbably petite

twinkle toe feet.


So you stifle a snigger

‘cos he should be much bigger.


He’s tried to put right

his absence of height -

repeatedly tried ways

but grew only sideways.


But his mirror doesn’t reach the floor

so, in his head, he’s six foot four,

a superman, a demi-god,

nothing even slightly odd.

Convinced that he is blessed

not merely self obsessed.


So even though he’s crass and dim

you still might even pity him

-a narcissistic man

with a wood preserver tan

whose upper half is in effect

the measure of his self respect,

caught between contempt for you

and the image he aspires to.

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