£8,000 a month care home fees.

[Cyclone 10]

Having known people in care homes, I can assure you that there is no 1 to 1 care available that I know of. I've certainly never seen it. One care worker may have to look after the entire night shift of people. Fine if they are all asleep, but they usually are not. There will also probably be a nurse on duty but she will be dealing with paper work etc rather than hands on.

 

As for daytime, maybe 3 carers will be looking after up to 20 patients. Patients have to wait until a carer is available to help them with basic things like going to the toilet, (sometimes too late.) There will be difficulties getting a doctor to visit, unless it is a dire emergency, and not always then. He may visit regularly once a week, if you're lucky, but more often than not, he will not visit for 'chronic' conditions, and may visit as litle as once a month.

 

I wish I could be more specific in what I've actually witnessed, bbut it would probably breach rules of confidentiality. I can say however, that in my experience, what they pronise in the glossy brochure, and what they actually deliver are miles apart.

 

Obelix's figures were based on 1/6 care, but to be fair that was RNs, of which I expect there would only be 1 on duty for an entire CH, the rest would be unqualified and much cheaper.

[Jomie 30]

Quote Mafya: I have 4 siblings, if my parents needed caring for then one of us will give up work to look after them instead of putting them in a care home and the other 4 will contribute financially to the one who gives up work plus a day here and there to make up for this unless it’s specialist care that one of them needs.

Care home fees are ridiculous so my advice is make sure you have a few kids so that you can also do something similar.

I have 4 kids myself......

Mafya - was that a tongue in cheek comment? If not, it seems callous to have four children in the expectation that one of them will give up their own life to care for you. You had better hope that they all remain in good health and do not emigrate, move out of Sheffield or have other issues which would prevent them from becoming your carer. Perhaps you should have another 4 or 5 children to spread the risk.

 

If your own parents need caring for, which of you will give up their life to do the job? Note that it is life, not job. With a job you get to go home and have ‘me’ time. No such luxury when you are a full time carer. It is 24/7, day in, day out. At a guess, it will be a female member of the family that takes it on. Men often don’t want to know, especially when it comes to tasks such as toiletting, feeding etc.

 

Like many people, you have no idea what it is like to give up your life to look after someone. That is not your fault but you should learn something about it before one of your siblings is allocated the job. Usually it is down to one member of the family while the others become helicopters - landing every now and again and taking off as quick as they came. More often than not they are all there to divvy up at the end though!

[Cyclone 10]

Until recently it was much more common for families to care for their own elderly.

Hypermobile work forces is a western phenomena that has caused the breakdown of systems like that.

 

Modern medicine has also resulted in a great many more people that actually need care. Historically they would most likely have died younger either before, or due to dementia, today we extend their lives and they need constant care.

[Anna B 1,401]

Don't forget with parents in their 80s and 90s, the children will probably be in their 60s and 70s, and may have health issues of their own.

[Jomie 30]

You are right Cyclone - thanks to medical intervention people are living much longer, but not necessarily healthier. People sometimes start to do the caring for elderly relatives without realising that care needs will very likely increase and that this could go on for a number of years. Before they know it they are stressed and worn out. Carers’ own health issues has been the subject of research which has indicated that many suffer illness linked to their caring role. Some carers are virtual prisoners in their own home. Even tagged felons are only confined to the house for part of the day or night!

[mafya 243]

Mafya - was that a tongue in cheek comment? If not, it seems callous to have four children in the expectation that one of them will give up their own life to care for you. You had better hope that they all remain in good health and do not emigrate, move out of Sheffield or have other issues which would prevent them from becoming your carer. Perhaps you should have another 4 or 5 children to spread the risk.

 

If your own parents need caring for, which of you will give up their life to do the job? Note that it is life, not job. With a job you get to go home and have ‘me’ time. No such luxury when you are a full time carer. It is 24/7, day in, day out. At a guess, it will be a female member of the family that takes it on. Men often don’t want to know, especially when it comes to tasks such as toiletting, feeding etc.

 

Like many people, you have no idea what it is like to give up your life to look after someone. That is not your fault but you should learn something about it before one of your siblings is allocated the job. Usually it is down to one member of the family while the others become helicopters - landing every now and again and taking off as quick as they came. More often than not they are all there to divvy up at the end though!

 

This is how Muslim culture works, why do you think there are not many Muslims in nursing homes?

I didnt specifically have four kids to make sure I have a carer and if non of them decide to look after me or my mrs if we need it then it will be their inheritance that will be getting spent paying ridiculous care home fees.

The Muslim way is very different to the way you describe in the last bit of your post.

[the_bloke 17]

Having known people in care homes, I can assure you that there is no 1 to 1 care available that I know of. I've certainly never seen it.

 

My ex wife still works for SCC social care in a unit, and they have 1:1 care for clients during the day - not all, but some. The only clients they get on her unit are extremely demanding, and I remember they were funded up to a cap by the council and then they had to fund themselves, and that was in SCC's own facility. Each client was assessed to identify their needs and were then costed to make sure the needs were met.

[Jomie 30]

Quote mafya: This is how Muslim culture works, why do you think there are not many Muslims in nursing homes?

I didnt specifically have four kids to make sure I have a carer and if non of them decide to look after me or my mrs if we need it then it will be their inheritance that will be getting spent paying ridiculous care home fees.

The Muslim way is very different to the way you describe in the last bit of your post.

I am aware of the Muslim way and it is laudable. This also used to be the way for the indigenous population just a few decades ago and it still is. Many severely disabled elderly folk are being looked after by their own families so you should not think that only Muslims are caring for their elderly people. The reason why there are more white people in care homes is that there are more of them in the general population and because they often have not had big families.

 

It is probably mostly the Muslim women who do the caring while the men leave them to it. The difference is that they probably will just get on with it uncomplainingly because it is expected and cultural. There would perhaps be disapprobation if they said anything about it. That doesn't mean that they want to, or should do it. Caring is caring, doesn't matter what faith you adhere to. It is hard work and can be soul destroying.

 

As for children, you indicated that you had four to cover this possibility: "Care home fees are ridiculous so my advice is make sure you have a few kids so that you can also do something similar.

I have 4 kids myself......" By talking of inheritance in the same breath as caring makes it sound as if it is a bargaining tool.

[Baron99 778]

Just make sure you live more than seven years beyond teh date of gifting and that they kids are charging you *market* rent for living in the house otherwise the council can apply for an order to negate the gifting of the house.

 

It's a private property so nothing to do with the council & apparently it's all legal. Just a change of names on the Land Registry. Nothing to do with a wiil or a gift of any kind.

[Obelix 11]

It's a private property so nothing to do with the council & apparently it's all legal. Just a change of names on the Land Registry. Nothing to do with a wiil or a gift of any kind.

 

You might want to read this..

 

https://www.which.co.uk/elderly-care/financing-care/gifting-assets-and-property/343063-what-are-the-rules-for-gifting-assets

[Anna B 1,401]

You are right Cyclone - thanks to medical intervention people are living much longer, but not necessarily healthier. People sometimes start to do the caring for elderly relatives without realising that care needs will very likely increase and that this could go on for a number of years. Before they know it they are stressed and worn out. Carers’ own health issues has been the subject of research which has indicated that many suffer illness linked to their caring role. Some carers are virtual prisoners in their own home. Even tagged felons are only confined to the house for part of the day or night!

 

This is true.

 

Respite care, to give full-time carers a break, is also very much in decline these days. It was on the News at lunchtime about children as carers having to look after their disabled parents, which I think is pretty discraceful.

[tinfoilhat 11]

This is how Muslim culture works, why do you think there are not many Muslims in nursing homes?

I didnt specifically have four kids to make sure I have a carer and if non of them decide to look after me or my mrs if we need it then it will be their inheritance that will be getting spent paying ridiculous care home fees.

The Muslim way is very different to the way you describe in the last bit of your post.

 

There's more to life than money. Once you've looked after someone with dementia day in day out, night in night out (they keep odd hours) you sort of know. You seem a decent bloke and I hope you don't get the short straw and have to look after a parent, or god forbid, parents with dementia.