Jump to content

End of life care

Recommended Posts

I would like to die consciously, awake.

Not asleep in a coma or drugged.

 

Having witnessed many deaths during my career I would definitely opt for being drugged when my end comes. I really don't want to know what is going on.

On a more personal level, my lovely Mum passed away in the NGH a few months ago and the end of life care she received was exceptional.

P.s., for anyone wondering - my lovely Mum passed away with Alzheimers Disease - not all end of life patients have cancer which is what many people think.

The end of life pathway can be used for anyone whose lifes end is near and who needs input that will ensure a peaceful, painless and dignified death.

Thank you Macmillan Nurses at NGH for your input, kindness and support X

Edited by Daven

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

One of the problems I believe, is that hospitals /doctors generally aim to preserve life and work continuously to that end, whereas for some people dying is the better option, but they are not allowed to attain it. At what point is that point reached, and who should have the final say?

 

Assuming that all the necessary controls and failsafes are in place, should we have a recognised 'Dignitas' option?

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
One of the problems I believe, is that hospitals /doctors generally aim to preserve life and work continuously to that end, whereas for some people dying is the better option, but they are not allowed to attain it. At what point is that point reached, and who should have the final say?

 

Assuming that all the necessary controls and failsafes are in place, should we have a recognised 'Dignitas' option?

 

My mother had dementia, she had had strokes and was already in a nursing home when she developed pneumonia. The medical staff asked me how I wanted her cared for, basically I wanted her comfortable. They kept her pain free, I was with her at the end, and I believe she had a good death.

 

She was 86, her quality of life was going to be minimal if she recovered. Why would anyone wish to prolong it? I knew my mother, she was extremely pragmatic and she'd have said it was time.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
How good is end of life care in the Uk?

 

Can it be improved?

 

Only by reversing the root cause of it.;)

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

It's an interesting one this, my mother died a year after my father, both with cancer, but my father knew he had cancer my mother did not, she did not even know my dad had passed, due to her having Alzheimers, neither had the ending they particularly wanted. My father spent his last 3 months bed ridden mostly in Weston park and his last week at St Lukes, my mother had almost a year in care at a cost of around £36K, paid from her pension and savings, she had very little left after that, and her last two months were at the NGH which she hated despite her condition.

 

We actually treat our pets better by having them put down, and that is not a dig at the staff working in care homes or the staff at the NGH, it's a dig at what as a society we consider to be a dignified ending ….. it's not that good IMHO

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Quote Michael_W: We actually treat our pets better by having them put down, and that is not a dig at the staff working in care homes or the staff at the NGH, it's a dig at what as a society we consider to be a dignified ending ….. it's not that good IMHO.

Spot on. The government will not legalise assistance to die and neither will it provide proper finance and care for seriously ill people, making them pay for it themselves and utilising (often free) family carers whenever possible. They sit on the fence and do nothing, taking the cowards way out.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

The problem with end of life is it's so unpredictable, making it nigh on impossible to plan for. We can be clear in our wishes about how we want to go but there are no guarantees in life or in death.

 

My Grandma was in the final stages of lung cancer and wanted to die at home, but she had a stroke in the early hours of the morning so my Grandad called the paramedics... it was clear she was dying so they took her to hospital and she died in the ambulance. I'm not saying the paramedics should have handled it any differently, I'm just saying you can't predict how it will play out.

 

My Step dad died in St. Luke's and the staff there were great. They knew when he was near the end and made sure he wasn't in any pain. It still wasn't a dignified or peaceful death though by any stretch.

I strongly believe we should be given the right to choose to end our own lives if we're diagnosed with a terminal / life limiting illness... anyone who argues against it needs to spend a few days in a hospice to witness it first hand.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
The problem with end of life is it's so unpredictable, making it nigh on impossible to plan for. We can be clear in our wishes about how we want to go but there are no guarantees in life or in death.

 

My Grandma was in the final stages of lung cancer and wanted to die at home, but she had a stroke in the early hours of the morning so my Grandad called the paramedics... it was clear she was dying so they took her to hospital and she died in the ambulance. I'm not saying the paramedics should have handled it any differently, I'm just saying you can't predict how it will play out.

 

My Step dad died in St. Luke's and the staff there were great. They knew when he was near the end and made sure he wasn't in any pain. It still wasn't a dignified or peaceful death though by any stretch.

I strongly believe we should be given the right to choose to end our own lives if we're diagnosed with a terminal / life limiting illness... anyone who argues against it needs to spend a few days in a hospice to witness it first hand.

 

I agree entirely. And old age itself is life limiting...

 

But what worries me is this government's propensity for blaming a particular group of people for all the ills in the country, and at the moment its ire seems to be directed at the 'baby boomers' who 'have had it all' and all the old people 'who are simply living too long.'

 

How long before choice, becomes a duty, and not to terminate oneself is seen as an ultimate act of selfishness.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

My dad died fairly quickly, in a few days, heavily drugged to mask the pain of his terminal lung cancer. I don’t really know what, if anything, he was thinking or feeling. He was never lucid enough during those last few days.

 

My mother died over several months of heart failure, her body progressively shutting down. She just wasted away, and didn’t / couldn’t communicate. I don’t know if she was in pain or what she was thinking. I’m concerned that she was suffering, but just don’t know. She was one of these people who, in life, would say that she’d sooner be put down than linger when there’s no prospect of recovery. Also, she wouldn’t have liked to have taken a hospital bed, and deprive someone else who could have really benefited from it. But whether or not she’d still think that when it came to the crunch, who knows.

 

Few of us know how it will end, but I think I’d prefer to go like my dad than like my mum.

 

Better still, like Bob Monkhouse... “I’d like to die peacefully in my sleep, like my dad, and not screaming in terror, like his passengers.”

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
I would like to die consciously, awake.

Not asleep in a coma or drugged.

 

Are you sure? You don't even know how you're going to die, how do you know you'll want to be conscious for it?

 

I've personally witnessed two deaths, one of them took about 4 hours of delirium, screaming agony and physical seizures. Even the nurses were crying and hugging each other.

 

I'm not even going to begin to describe the other death I witnessed.

 

Be careful what you wish for.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now
×
×
  • Create New...

Important Information

We have placed cookies on your device to help make this website better. You can adjust your cookie settings, otherwise we'll assume you're okay to continue.