Illness related anxiety

[Beanfeast 10]

Not sure if this is the place to come really. My family and I have had a tough time over the past 6 months, and I'm now struggling to carry on as normal without constantly worrying something else is going to go wrong.

 

Late last year I was made redundant, I managed to get another job but the hours are very unsocial and make family life hard. I'm constantly on the lookout for a better job but it's not easy.

Then, before Xmas I became ill with an ear infection, causing me to have dizzy spells and have to take time off work. Just before the New Year my wife had what we thought was a stroke, lost the ability in one side of her face etc. This REALLY scared me, though she is now pretty much recovered back to normal the doctors haven't really come to a conclusion other than to say it was a 'neural syndrome', after having an MRI I'm hoping not having heard anything is a good thing.

Then my dizziness came back, whilst not as bad it has been, it was in the background bothering me every now and again. Recently it seems to have disappeared... fingers crossed!

A month or so later, both my in-laws ended up in hospital - one with pneumonia, the other with flu. One of them became very confused and the situation became extremely difficult for a while, though now it's slowly returning to normal this is a new situation we now have to manage and provide more care for.

From this my wife then developed pneumonia herself, had a very high temperature and ended up in hospital, she's slowly recovering but it's taken weeks.

 

You'd think we'd had enough by now, but no - in the past few weeks my 10yr old daughter then got gastric flu and ended up in hospital, a few days later I developed a stomach bug and had to spend 2 days in bed getting over it.

 

I haven't yet mentioned the 2 car crashes my wife had during this time, a close friend dying suddenly of sepsis, and all the while I'm attempting to cope with working unsocial hours, make a good impression at work so they'll keep me on, and care for my family and support them.

 

 

So it's hardly a surprise I'm/we're struggling. I'm constantly worried every cough I hear, every itch I notice, every text or phone call I get will lead to more bad news. I can just about manage to ignore the stress and anxiety and push it into the background telling myself it'll be alright, but it's not easy.

 

I'm hardly expecting anyone to have been in a similar situation, but if anyone has any hints or tips about managing the stress and anxiety I'd be most grateful.

[Halibut 12]

Firstly, congratulations for still being here and still coping - it does sound like you've had a really tough time lately.

Secondly, I think it's important to tell yourself (even if you're not sure you believe it) that there is light at the end of the tunnel and that things will get better. Also, try and make time in your life to do something that you find really relaxing/fascinating/rewarding - a hobby or sport or whatever. Celebrate things more. Throw a party for friends and family for no good reason.

[El Cid 220]

while I'm attempting to cope with working unsocial hours, make a good impression at work so they'll keep me on, and care for my family and support them.

 

So it's hardly a surprise I'm/we're struggling.

 

The unemployment rate is very low at the moment, you sound like an intelligent person, you should be ok.

[drolnhoj 15]

I just try to think that whatever cards I get dealt, somebody gets dealt a worse hand. It does help me and I have had a few bad hands dealt over the last few years, but I still keep going. It probably doesn't help how you feel, but it works for me.

[Jomie 30]

Beanfeast - you have had a horrendous time and I feel for you and yours. I can identify with your feelings because due to my situation I too frequently think about what the next problem will be. What I do know is that looking ahead does no good - it creates more anxiety. These days I try not to look any further than today and getting on with what needs doing immediately.

 

If you have close family and friends, ask them for help. Men are not good at talking about emotional health so you have done well to take the first step. Don’t expect too much of yourself. Do what you realistically can but don’t push yourself unnecessarily - it is a case of prioritising. It might be helpful to make your manager and colleagues at work aware of your problems. Don’t be embarrassed about this. We are all vulnerable at times.

 

If you can, seek the help of a counsellor. A good one will help you to come to terms with all these stressful events and help you to move forward. It will also help you to deal with difficult things ahead.

 

People often say calm down, everything will be ok but actually none of us knows what is going to happen. In time, you will come out of this a different, but stronger person. Remember that what you are experiencing is perfectly normal under the circumstances. You are a strong person and have coped very well.

Edited April 11, 2018 by Jomie

[alchresearch 215]

Jomie is spot on - ask for help. You'll be amazed at how far support from friends and family will go and how much it will help psychologically . Even if its just taking you out to the country for the day.

 

Look for the positives and do as many things that help you forget about the problems.

[MrBump 10]

It sounds very intense. Well done for getting this far and posting here.

If you have time read the book: You can't afford the luxury of a negative thought.

Maybe find 10 things to be thankful for each time you feel yourself worry?

Good luck

[Beanfeast 10]

Thank you for the replies, it's not easy dealing with anxiety. Just taking one day at a time.

[El Cid 220]

Thank you for the replies, it's not easy dealing with anxiety. Just taking one day at a time.

 

I get anxious/stressed; it stops me doing some things, but very few people will realise I get it.

I am sure I would be much more capable if I did not have it, but I manage ok.

[pattricia 578]

I just try to think that whatever cards I get dealt, somebody gets dealt a worse hand. It does help me and I have had a few bad hands dealt over the last few years, but I still keep going. It probably doesn't help how you feel, but it works for me.

 

I feel the same as you. Whenever I feel anxious I always think of my time years ago as a student nurse. I did a stint at The Children’s Hospital and saw children and babies dying daily of cancer.

[Becky B 31]

Have you thought about seeking professional help?

You can refer yourself to IAPT: http://iaptsheffield.shsc.nhs.uk/

 

You've had a lot happen to be able to deal with, sometimes it's worth talking to someone neutral who could look at strategies with you to manage anxiety.