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Lodging Etiquette

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Hi,

 

Hope you can help with a conundrum!

 

So, I have my own home and rent a room out to a mate, somebody I have known a long time and I'm not sure whether to challenge him on a couple of very MINOR things which I am well aware makes me sound a bit petty!!!

 

If you are a lodger in somebodys home and you pay your money to rent a room every week is that justified for you to do literally nothing?

 

When he uses the kitchen he cleans up after himself which I am obviously happy with but its the little things like I buy things like toilet paper, dishwasher tablets, foil and so on which he obviously uses but never replaces. If I dont buy then god knows how he wipes his backside:gag:

 

He doesnt hoover or clean the shower. The cleanliness of the house is purely down to me. Like I said he cleans after himself in the kitchen and takes his pots away but thats it.

 

Am I being unreasonable for expecting him to hoover once in a blue moon or to buy toilet paper and so on?

 

I havent challenged him on this because I dont want to rock the boat and it is easy money for me!!

 

I am just wanting feedback as to whether I am expecting too much!!

 

Thanks for any feedback in advance:thumbsup:

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It's reasonable that he should contribute towards things that he's using, unless the original agreement was that you would supply them.

We had a lodger years ago, and I think we agree that he'd contribute £10 towards things like you say, foil, clingfilm, loo roll, salt and pepper and all those minor things.

 

Cleaning is a bit more difficult, perhaps a rota would help, suggest that set one up between

you perhaps, see how that is taken...

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Get a cleaner in and split the cost?

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Put the rent up and get a maid.

 

ETA, I see Marx made much the same suggestion. P'raps I should've read the thread before posting.

 

---------- Post added 06-08-2017 at 11:34 ----------

 

I'm not sure whether to challenge him on a couple of very MINOR things which I am well aware makes me sound a bit petty!!!

 

No, it is not petty, but avoid multiple exclamation marks.

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Sounds to me like your lodger assumes that his rent includes the replacement of toilet rolls etc..... you obviously didn't make things clear from the beginning.

Keeping the house clean and tidy is a different matter, I would expect him to clean up after himself especially the bathroom. You don't have a cleaner so he must know that you do most of the cleaning which is unfair. You need to sort these things out but after letting it ride for a while it could be awkward.

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Thanks for the feedback, I'm glad we are all in general agreement:thumbsup:

 

A maid would be very tempting but its not like I live in a mansion so could hardly justify it:hihi:

 

Next time an opportunity comes up I will mention it.

 

I was speaking to another mate as this guy lived with him for four years and he was exactly the same - that mate use to hide the toilet paper!!

 

TBH I think he genuinely naive and a mummy's boy who expects everything to be done for him. I know many years ago he lived with a girl who literally wiped his backside and did EVERYTHING for him. No wonder she dumped him!

 

When he came to look around (BTW he asked to move in because other mate was kicking him out so he could move his mrs in) I made it clear Im not here to mother him. Obviously not clear enough!

 

What I didnt mention in the original post his girlfriend stops here more and more regular. We need to discuss that too:roll:

 

Anyway, thanks for the feedback, greatly appreciated:thumbsup:

 

Rob

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When I was a lodger (long time ago) I didn't have to do any of the chores that you mention. The landlady employed a cleaner. I shared a room with someone else and there were four other lodgers at any one time. There was a communal lounge and the landlady did all the cooking and washing up. She provided breakfast and evening meal.

It cost me £5 a week and if I went home for the weekend she would give me 10/- back.

Happy days.

I don't know what the etiquette is these days but I think the rent should reflect the situation as it is. If your lodger is getting his accommodation on the cheap he should lend a hand, otherwise increase the rent.

Edited by Jim Hardie
Corrected typos

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So, I have my own home and rent a room out to a mate, somebody I have known a long time and I'm not sure whether to challenge him on a couple of very MINOR things which I am well aware makes me sound a bit petty!!!

 

If you are a lodger in somebodys home and you pay your money to rent a room every week is that justified for you to do literally nothing?

 

When he uses the kitchen he cleans up after himself which I am obviously happy with but its the little things like I buy things like toilet paper, dishwasher tablets, foil and so on which he obviously uses but never replaces. If I dont buy then god knows how he wipes his backside:gag:

 

He doesnt hoover or clean the shower. The cleanliness of the house is purely down to me. Like I said he cleans after himself in the kitchen and takes his pots away but thats it.

 

Am I being unreasonable for expecting him to hoover once in a blue moon or to buy toilet paper and so on?

 

I havent challenged him on this because I dont want to rock the boat and it is easy money for me!!

 

I am just wanting feedback as to whether I am expecting too much!

Although he's your friend, did you and he not put anything at all in writing about your respective rights and obligations?

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AIBU ..... classic mumsnet post

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When he uses the kitchen he cleans up after himself which I am obviously happy with but its the little things like I buy things like toilet paper, dishwasher tablets, foil and so on which he obviously uses but never replaces. If I dont buy then god knows how he wipes his backside:gag:

 

 

You could go for a written agreement, if you are doing this long term it must be swelling your bank account.

How much are you charging?

 

I would expect the rent money to pay for the small things. I am thinking about a lodger in the future. Girlfriend staying over is a bigger issue than who pays for the toilet paper ;)

 

https://www.spareroom.co.uk/

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Youd be best kicking him out. Id be wondering why he kept using up your kitchen foil

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When you take a lodger in friend or not you should make sure the rent covers all this so no matter how they behave it doesnt matter. At the end of the week you want a smile on your face not mumping .

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