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Family member ruining Xmas day plans

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Whatever the rights and wrongs of it I agree with EccoNoob. You are placing too much stress on yourself and thereby making yourself miserable which will spoil your holiday. Overreaction.

 

Just chill out and make the best of the situation. It would annoy me for about five minutes and then I would make the best of the day. Nobody has died. Just ahve your normal Christmas meal and let you mum worry about the other sister etc. It wouldnt bother me in the slightest.

 

You will ahve to go and see nan another time, just explain and then hire a car if you have to.

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I'm sorry to hear your plans fell through. Your first Christmas without your dad is always going to be hard, and this could have affected your whole family and the decisions they have made. Your mum might not want to be at home.

I can understand your frustration. You get to spend all day uninterrupted with your beautiful daughter for her first Christmas, though.

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It's frustrating but don't be angry with your mum. My mum is gone now and I'd give anything to have her back. Used to get frustrated with her at times and I feel so guilty for that now. Your day doesn't sound like it's perfect for you but do your best to enjoy it, especially as there is a new addition to the family.

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So tomorrow's plans are ruined by my mother....

 

Am I right to be extremely angry about this or given that she's always favoured my eldest sister (there are 4 kids but the eldest sister says jump and mum asks how high) should I not be surprised?

 

This favouring behaviour has gotten worse since my dad died earlier this year but he was the one that would always have a go at mum when she wasn't being fair to the rest of us.

 

I sympathise with you, Resident. I agree with Happy Daddy, Mum's are not all perfect. Our family Christmas's were ruined for well over 20 years. It would start in about October with my mother constantly going on about "I don't know where I will go Christmas Day", "Nobody wants me". I knew where she would be, with me (because I was the daughter). She was not easy to get on with and she totally ruined the day. One year my husband's parents and brother called in on their way to the pub and my mother invited them back for dinner. I was not prepared to feed an extra 3 people (money was tight then). This then became a usual event for the next few years.

 

We eventually moved over 40 miles away and thought at last one of my siblings would do the duty (it seemed like a duty), but no. We had to have her stay a few days, which made it worse.

 

Our first Christmas alone as a family was too late. The kids had grown up, they were adults, it was not the same. The thing I can't forgive myself for was I let her ruin my children's Christmas day.

 

I have never imposed myself on my children at Christmas. We used to visit the grandkids Christmas Eve to leave the presents and they would visit us Boxing Day for dinner. I didn't take offence when my daughter said they would really like Christmas Eve alone with the kids and that Boxing Day they wanted to go to a football match. I have just text to ask if Santa has been and had a reply to say he has just been and the kids are happy. That is all I need.

 

So, don't let family or anyone else ruin your Christmas. It is your Christmas, have a good one. Merry Christmas to everyone.

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Unfortunately I still have to make the trip to drop presents off for the rest of my family.

 

Tomorrow is my only free day until mid-January as I have work until the 28th then on 29th I'm in hospital for 3 weeks due to major surgery.

 

I know it's late but you absolutely DON'T HAVE to make the trip.

 

"as you're all aware my car is broken, and having a newborn to care for, on top of all the work i need to put in before the surgery means i'm unable to deliver presents. Everyone's present is available to collect from my house, i'm sure you'd all love to see baby in his / her house, and maybe join in assisting with bath and bed time while mum and i enjoy an earned rest. thanks all for understanding"

 

Xmas done and any relative worth their salt would jump at the opportunity.

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My old Ma has been gone these last 11 years, I would give owt to be able to invite her to visit and have Christmas dinner with us. I find it hard to imagine that some poor folk have such a relationship with their Ma that Christmas dinner is a no no with Her.

 

Angel1.

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My old Ma has been gone these last 11 years, I would give owt to be able to invite her to visit and have Christmas dinner with us. I find it hard to imagine that some poor folk have such a relationship with their Ma that Christmas dinner is a no no with Her.

 

Angel1.

 

Im happy you had a good relationship with your Mum. I envy you mate.

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I hope you had a peaceful and happy Christmas with your new baby. I would like to wish you well in your hospital stay and hope the op goes well.

I can understand your being upset at the change in arrangements when you have gone to such trouble. You have your own family now and taking a newborn on a long journey is not a good idea. Perhaps if you change the way you think about what you must do you will feel better. Your mother is a grown up she should be able to see that you have other commitments to attend to.

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Im happy you had a good relationship with your Mum. I envy you mate.

 

 

Thanks for that reply, it is so sad that some have a poor relationship with their Mums.

 

Angel1.

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