Family member ruining Xmas day plans

[Resident 1,185]

So tomorrow's plans are ruined by my mother.

I'd arranged to borrow a car tomorrow morning as mine is broke so I could take my newborn daughter to see her nan on Xmas day. Borrowing the car is a huge favour and time limited as they need it back by 12 and it's a 90min round trip to mums.

 

 

Mum was adamant that she was staying home for Xmas and we could all go there so that it was fair to all. My youngest sister planned to go and cooked Xmas dinner so

 

 

Now she's decided that she's staying at my oldest sister's Xmas eve to ‘babysit her grandkids’ and cannot specify a time she'll be back home which means she might not back by the time I have to leave. Going to my sister's would mean just over 3 hours round trip so I'd have to set off at 7am just to spend any time there and not something I want to do with a newborn.

 

 

Am I right to be extremely angry about this or given that she's always favoured my eldest sister (there are 4 kids but the eldest sister says jump and mum asks how high) should I not be surprised?

 

 

This favouring behaviour has gotten worse since my dad died earlier this year but he was the one that would always have a go at mum when she wasn't being fair to the rest of us.

[melthebell 862]

Christmas eh? great family time Oo

 

sorry to hear that fella, very awkward

[spilldig 188]

Seems to me that the plans had already been made and agreed upon so if that is the case you are entitled to be angry.

[smithy266 21]

Yep, you should be angry, but maybe Christmas is a time for forgiveness....... she might have had a lot on her plate this year, and maybe that her outward hardness is just a cover, or self-protection.

 

"Never mind Mum, we will get to see you soon afterwards....."

[max 13]

I'd look at the positives: all the preparation of getting a newborn ready for travel - gone, the stress of a 90 minute round trip in a strange car - gone, spending time on Christmas Day which could be better spent looking after said newborn - gone.

 

If you let this spoil your first Christmas with your daughter then it will loom large every year.

 

Forget the anger and cherish the moment.

[Resident 1,185]

I'd look at the positives: all the preparation of getting a newborn ready for travel - gone, the stress of a 90 minute round trip in a strange car - gone, spending time on Christmas Day which could be better spent looking after said newborn - gone.

 

If you let this spoil your first Christmas with your daughter then it will loom large every year.

 

Forget the anger and cherish the moment.

 

Unfortunately I still have to make the trip to drop presents off for the rest of my family.

 

Tomorrow is my only free day until mid-January as I have work until the 28th then on 29th I'm in hospital for 3 weeks due to major surgery.

[Sidonica 10]

Unfortunately I still have to make the trip to drop presents off for the rest of my family.

 

Tomorrow is my only free day until mid-January as I have work until the 28th then on 29th I'm in hospital for 3 weeks due to major surgery.

 

You have obviously enough problems to deal with at the moment, tell the rest of your family that you will visit after christmas (when it's more convenient for you) and then forget about them and enjoy your christmas with your new family, they are more important now.

 

All the best.

[Mr Bloke 1,445]

So tomorrow's plans are ruined by my mother.

I'd arranged to borrow a car tomorrow morning as mine is broke so I could take my newborn daughter to see her nan on Xmas day. Borrowing the car is a huge favour and time limited as they need it back by 12 and it's a 90min round trip to mums.

 

 

Mum was adamant that she was staying home for Xmas and we could all go there so that it was fair to all. My youngest sister planned to go and cooked Xmas dinner so

 

 

Now she's decided that she's staying at my oldest sister's Xmas eve to ‘babysit her grandkids’ and cannot specify a time she'll be back home which means she might not back by the time I have to leave. Going to my sister's would mean just over 3 hours round trip so I'd have to set off at 7am just to spend any time there and not something I want to do with a newborn.

 

 

Am I right to be extremely angry about this or given that she's always favoured my eldest sister (there are 4 kids but the eldest sister says jump and mum asks how high) should I not be surprised?

 

 

This favouring behaviour has gotten worse since my dad died earlier this year but he was the one that would always have a go at mum when she wasn't being fair to the rest of us.

Absolutely NOT!

 

Why would anyone be 'extremely angry' with their Mum, especially at this time of year?

 

One day, when she's not around anymore to be angry at, you'll realise just what a muppet you've been.

 

Now stop feeling sorry for yourself and be happy that she's 'happy'...

[ECCOnoob 1,020]

You have obviously enough problems to deal with at the moment, tell the rest of your family that you will visit after christmas (when it's more convenient for you) and then forget about them and enjoy your christmas with your new family, they are more important now.

 

All the best.

 

^^^^^^ agree completely with this.

 

Tomorrow is only "ruined" if you let her ruin it.

 

You can do what YOU want to do. You dont have to go anywhere you dont want and if she is not around when you planned to visit, go and visit another time.

 

No need to get angry or upset about it. Annoying it might be. Inconvenient it might be, but dont let such trivial things spoil the first xmas with your newborn.

 

Families have this each and every year. The juggle and squabbles between who is going to go to whose house, when they are coming,how the are getting there, who might be missing out. Its all too silly.

 

Its just one day. The world will still be revolving on monday and anyone who missed out tomorrow can be swept up over the rest of the holiday period.

[Happy Daddy 10]

Absolutely NOT!

 

Why would anyone be 'extremely angry' with their Mum, especially at this time of year?

 

One day, when she's not around anymore to be angry at, you'll realise just what a muppet you've been.

 

Now stop feeling sorry for yourself and be happy that she's 'happy'...

 

Thats a rather ignorant reply.

Mums are not all perfect you know. I could tell you about mine, I love her dearly but she is not a great person. She is uncaring when it comes to my kids and she has caused enough stress over the years when we moved home we didnt tell her where we live. Yes I miss having a mum in my life but my kids do not miss her one bit. The reason being is they simply dont know her or what it is like to have a Nan. Despite all my efforts she just is not interested.

 

Op. Try not to let it get you down. Family can be a pain at times. Dont let it ruin you day and make the most of it with your new baby.

Have a very merry Christmas.

[Mr Bloke 1,445]

Thats a rather ignorant reply.

Mums are not all perfect you know. I could tell you about mine, I love her dearly but she is not a great person. She is uncaring when it comes to my kids and she has caused enough stress over the years when we moved home we didnt tell her where we live. Yes I miss having a mum in my life but my kids do not miss her one bit. The reason being is they simply dont know her or what it is like to have a Nan. Despite all my efforts she just is not interested.

 

Op. Try not to let it get you down. Family can be a pain at times. Dont let it ruin you day and make the most of it with your new baby.

Have a very merry Christmas.

Hmmm...

 

... I suppose you're right!

 

It's probably best that we all feel sorry for ourselves, have a good old moan on an internet forum to complete strangers, and blame everyone else for our inability to cope with what is in the great scheme of things such a trivial matter...

 

... Merry Christmas!

[Happy Daddy 10]

You feel sorry for yourself if you like. Meanwhile Ill be enjoying Christmas with my kids.