Do you suffer with anxiety and depression?

[addylewis 10]

I mean it's not really my place to say it, but I really don't think you need someone like that in your life. Being depressed isn't an excuse or reason to treat someone like that. She sounds kind of awful. Maybe the nice side was actually a bit of a front and when you got to know her you found out what she's actually like. Even at my worst I wouldn't have been horrible to my friends or family, there was no reason to be like that. I think maybe you let her take advantage of you and your kindness when she really didn't deserve it. Oh and if you bump into her, you have no reason to be nervous because it was her who treat you badly!

 

Thanks...I know it was justified - it was the lack of respect she started to show me that got me angry rather than anything else...

 

I'll give you an example I remember:

 

**gets called downstairs because something didn't have a price on it - walks through door onto shop floor...**

 

Her - "Here, Here..." (holding out top shaking it in my direction)

Me - "...what?"

Her - "Here, Here, come on..." (still holding it and shaking it)

Me - "Can't YOU go? I've only just come downstairs..."

Her - "No, I'm on the till...come on" (stops shaking it)

Me - *snatches it off her whilst glaring*

Her - "Go on, Run!"

Me - "I do not run if I'm not being paid"

**walk out, get price put on it quickly by chance...walk back in**

Her - "Thanks" (finishes serving customer)

 

Her - finger upto chin, head slightly sideways, looking genuinely interested..."Just thinking, did you run because I told you to?"

 

(this is AFTER she knew she'd been getting me angry as well...I could've attacked her with a damn baseball bat at that point...can't remember what my reaction was but I was ABSOLUTELY LIVID!!!!!!!)

 

That's a PRIME example of how she used to treat me at work before she changed her days to avoid me...the thing is, I heard later on that she'd started treating others like that afterwards - I only saw her once since then at work and that was about 2-and-a-half months later and she was pretty "normal" again and not a complete arsehole...but we still deliberately avoided each other that day, I didn't want to push my luck - I was just happy she was willing to be there the same day as me again...

 

I'm slightly anxious for 2 reasons...1) she knows where I live (something I DON'T with her) and 2) my own self-control...but even though my own life doesn't feel worth it sometimes, what I DO have in my life is NOT worth losing - and she's not worth going to prison for...

 

I'm wondering if she deliberately treated me and others like that in the hopes she would die from someone snapping on her eventually...think about it, if she's emotionally destroyed someone to the point that they seriously couldn't care less about even themselves - why would they think twice about doing something neither of them could ever come back/recover from if they're being driven crazy all the time...?

Edited October 15, 2016 by addylewis

[Valentine1 10]

I'm slightly anxious for 2 reasons...1) she knows where I live (something I DON'T with her) and 2) my own self-control...

 

If she hasn't turned up at your house already then I doubt you have reason to be anxious about that, she's probably off treating somebody else badly. And if you're anxious about your own self control then it's probably better you no longer speak to her anyway.

[addylewis 10]

Yeah I know...it was a few years ago now anyway...but through talking it over with my mates it still took me awhile to realise it WASN'T just me being oversensitive (which is a bit ludicrous anyway) - but I'd been through a lot during the time her and I were ok, so it's reassuring to hear...but I guess part of me will always wonder "What if I'd done it differently...?/If I knew then what I know now..." - y'know...

 

I think some of it is because I never got stuff off my chest to HER...my mind was racing so much I could barely speak sometimes...

 

I sometimes feel like "if she knew how I think of her now in contrast to how I USED to feel, then I can finally lay the ghost to rest"...but at least I've still got my "pre-crazy-woman" life to keep me going even though I need something new...

 

---------- Post added 15-10-2016 at 18:32 ----------

 

I can't believe I posted all of this in here...it was a few years ago and I've been doing pretty well NOT thinking about it all even to myself (privately) - let alone getting it off my chest AGAIN to people, but I guess it takes a long time to FULLY get over something like that and it needs to come out sometimes when you realise your life hasn't changed enough since then and badly needs change (especially in the work/lack-of-romance departments...). I've had other friends who've had depression since her and they've been nice people and haven't shown any of those control freak/narcissistic/sociopathic/bullying traits...I guess she was just an enigma and had many more HIDDEN issues which she never told me about (which would have probably made the difference)...

Edited October 15, 2016 by addylewis