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You know you're back in Sheffield when...

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You know your back in sheffield when:-

 

1. The car starts to vibrate like a crazy frog (The roads)

 

2. You need a new suspension (the roads)

 

3. You get a soar head from hitting the roof (The roads and speed bumps)

 

4. You hit traffic

 

5. Some "CHAV / Youth" that thinks he's from alkatras says......... "f**ck u lukin at, wanna a peice ( and then smashes you with a brick and knicks you phone & money)

 

6. You See a load of smackheads.

 

7. A guy outside the SPAR on division street ask you for change (The same guy from last week) all for same thing! that he supposdly bought last week!

 

8. You see a 5 yr old robbing a 30yr old man

 

9. You get your car and or sterio nicked

 

10. You get your house broken into

 

11. Your scared to go into your local shop

 

12. Your see the local 2yr old gangsta bragging to his 19yr old mates about the ASBO he just got

 

.... the list goes on, but I'm still here, chuckling away to myself and loving it. Isn't it great when you can stand back and watch society going down the pan?

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when you walking the dog and everyone you see says 'hello', 'morning' or comments on the weather etc

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When you get fingered by some mardy woman on the parkway for no reason!

 

Pardon me? This is a family forum!!!

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Gbeardshaw,

that's a pretty dark perception you have of sheffield.

 

I was going to say, you can stop and ask anyone, including a granny directions in sheffield and you will get loads of friendly help, whereas many other cities in the UK I have tried this they will just run away. Or look scared like you are about to mug them.

 

Another one,

Sheffield is about one of the only places where you need legs like Geoff Capes to cycle anywhere apart from town. As most places are up or down steep hills.

 

Sheffield is the only place in the world where I have been stopped by people on the street, in the town centre, and asked if I am Muddycoffee.

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You know your in Sheffield when somebody asks to meet you 'outside Virgin'...

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... the streets are running with urine, and there's a bloke walking down the road behind you demanding that you spectate while he demonstrates the 'art' of walking mid flow :roll:

 

... somebody who lives round the corner (who you've never met) offers to do you a favour via SheffieldForum :thumbsup:

 

 

( I like it here really ;) )

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- the tap water tases right

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I have to admit to living a full and happy life but I must confess that when our pet pig Joey had to have his legs amputated there was a desperate lull in our house hold. My lovely wife Connie tried to keep spirits up with jokes and fancy dances but still our thoughts were with the welfare of our dear friend Joey.

The time arrived and I had to take myself off, I distracted myself by feeding the terrapins. When I returned hours later Connie made me sit down while she served me a cocktail. When she walked into the parlor I could not believe my eyes. On the silver tray were two drinking vessels which appeared to be pigs trotters. ‘They are indeed’ – my wife announced. Connie had taken two of Joey’s amputated legs and scooped out the insides, she had put this flesh into the blender along with some vodka and ice. She then poured the mixture back into the pre-chilled hollow pig’s leg using them as fun glasses.

Let me tell you we were all legless that night.

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I have to admit to living a full and happy life but I must confess that when our pet pig Joey had to have his legs amputated there was a desperate lull in our house hold. My lovely wife Connie tried to keep spirits up with jokes and fancy dances but still our thoughts were with the welfare of our dear friend Joey.

The time arrived and I had to take myself off, I distracted myself by feeding the terrapins. When I returned hours later Connie made me sit down while she served me a cocktail. When she walked into the parlor I could not believe my eyes. On the silver tray were two drinking vessels which appeared to be pigs trotters. ‘They are indeed’ – my wife announced. Connie had taken two of Joey’s amputated legs and scooped out the insides, she had put this flesh into the blender along with some vodka and ice. She then poured the mixture back into the pre-chilled hollow pig’s leg using them as fun glasses.

Let me tell you we were all legless that night.

 

Funny, or weird, you decide.

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I would have said ill-judged, boring and over-long. In summary: 'meh'.

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