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Bouncy Castle Man

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That’s Bouncy Castle man

in his Bouncy Castle van.

His face I vaguely know

from children’s parties years ago,

expecting geniality

I found a grim reality

of stale booze

and neck tattoos.


No castle in the back-

business must be slack,

maybe someone’s stolen it,

perhaps it’s got a hole in it.

He chauffeured it from door to door

and this perhaps became a chore,

increasingly dissatisfied and sick of all the hassle

he thought there must be more to life than pimping out his castle.


Now it seems he’s combing streets

collecting broken garden seats,

here an old bike wheel,

there a jagged bit of steel,

rusted kiddie’s swings,

twisted, stark, abandoned things

some I think forsaken,

others slyly taken.

Flogged for cash - he’ll know a bloke -

some dodgy dealer up the smoke.


But are his urban salvage schemes

crushing children’s tiny dreams?

His van promotes but does not bring

the big exciting bouncy thing.

‘Oh Mummy’, they cry

as his van clatters by,

a death trap

of old scrap,

‘Why does that man

have a misleading van?‘

Excited hopes are trampled flat -

they won’t be jumping round on that.


And now they’re nonplussed

full of doubt and mistrust,

with misgivings growing

about the way things are going.

Could Santa drive past on a cash-in-hand job -

a sleigh full of rubbish, a fag in his gob?

And if he’s now earning a crust in this way,

might stockings be empty on Christmas day?


And they might start to feel

that he’s not even real.

Mummy has lied,

their childhood just died

and the world they now face

is a mean horrid place.




See what you did?

for a few measly quid,

Scrap Metal man

in your Bouncy Castle van.

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Excellent, amusing read sir.

It's the first time I've been on here, for a long while.

Glad that I did.

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